1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

how do i stop worrying abt my neighbors?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Aug 13, 2013.

  1. Aug 13, 2013 #1
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,995
    Likes Received:
    20,885
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    I have a distance with people.It is not that I am not friendly or anything.I hate to interfere and interference.

    My community is pretty active.everyone greets and meets each other almost everyday.I am basically an introvert but when I meet people I am very nice to them.I attend most of their parties when I am called and invite them home for any occasions or parties if i have any.otherwise,i do not go to potlucks,sit and talk,gossip or call anyone.I mind my own business.

    two of my neighbors tried to be too friendly with me .they constantly call me,come to my home etc etc. infact they even tried to send their kids to my home everyday for sometime!I mildly avoided everything.i just call them up once in a while and say hi.

    they r pretty pissed of with me.they comment "if she wants something only she talks."I have never ever used anyone to my advantage.so i feel hurt.i a not too social.it is just not me.they want me to call and visit all the time.

    my husband said"u know about urself. u know u do not take advantage.why bother abt their silly comments?"

    how do i not worry?
     
    anika987, Aug 13, 2013
    anika987, Aug 13, 2013
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. anika987

      How do I stop worrying so much about making friends ????

      anika987, Mar 17, 2014, in forum: Friends & Neighbours
      Replies:
      9
      Views:
      1,804
      LuvLadoo35
      Mar 20, 2014
    2. manjushail

      I am pregnant, but cant stop worrying about in-laws...please advice.

      manjushail, Jul 16, 2011, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      8
      Views:
      2,512
      manjushail
      Jul 19, 2011
    3. Swaras

      How to make my parents stop worrying

      Swaras, Jul 2, 2010, in forum: Parents & Siblings
      Replies:
      5
      Views:
      2,388
      blessed
      Jul 3, 2010
  2. Aug 13, 2013 #2
    rkgurbani

    rkgurbani IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,768
    Likes Received:
    3,115
    Trophy Points:
    340
    Gender:
    Female
    Each one of us is different. Maybe your DH is right...just ignore the people if you know yourself well.

    It is okay to always say Hi to your neighbours and maintain a cordial relationship as one never knows in times of need, you may have to run to one of them for help or vice versa! If you know where to draw a line without being aloof then it will be fine.
     
    rkgurbani, Aug 13, 2013
    rkgurbani, Aug 13, 2013
    #2
    1 person likes this.
  3. Aug 13, 2013 #3
    Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,026
    Likes Received:
    10,428
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Weren't you posting many threads asking how to make friends or threads about loneliness in America?


     
    Anitap, Aug 13, 2013
    Anitap, Aug 13, 2013
    #3
    8 people like this.
  4. Aug 13, 2013 #4
    anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,995
    Likes Received:
    20,885
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    yeah i did but i prefer friends who r genuine and not use me to their advantage.maybe I am expecting too much..i don't know.i had bad experiences with ex neighbors and hence i do not want to be too close in the community.we have to meet each other anytime.once bitten twice shy.
    but as i said i think my expectations r too much probs..
     
    anika987, Aug 13, 2013
    anika987, Aug 13, 2013
    #4
  5. Aug 13, 2013 #5
    Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,760
    Likes Received:
    4,258
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    u need to find ppl of same wavelength then. until then it is going to be a struggle to balance the ends.
     
    Radhai, Aug 13, 2013
    Radhai, Aug 13, 2013
    #5
  6. Aug 14, 2013 #6
    lucky22

    lucky22 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    353
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Wow, you are exactly my type....i mean i have same preferences as you have.

    I want to make friends but I dont want people who intrude too much. I am open to parties and occasional potlucks too, but if it get too much out of control like a potluck every weekend, calling everyday to chit chat and gossiping is definitely not my type. But may be it is very difficult to find people of my similar wavelength. It is usually like get it all or none.
     
    lucky22, Aug 14, 2013
    lucky22, Aug 14, 2013
    #6
    4 people like this.
  7. Aug 14, 2013 #7
    zainabsarfraz

    zainabsarfraz Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,100
    Likes Received:
    938
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    hmm then dont make friends outside just stick to IL , iliets dont interfer unless they are asked to answer any of your queries, you can occasional have a meet up that too only if you like otherwise you can skip it, you also can free ride all the gossips(threads) without replying to any if you dont want to gossip.
    Now how do you like my idea [​IMG]
     
    zainabsarfraz, Aug 14, 2013
    zainabsarfraz, Aug 14, 2013
    #7
    6 people like this.
  8. Aug 14, 2013 #8
    Twinkel

    Twinkel Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,400
    Likes Received:
    2,917
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    [​IMG]
     
    Twinkel, Aug 14, 2013
    Twinkel, Aug 14, 2013
    #8
  9. Aug 15, 2013 #9
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,508
    Likes Received:
    30,279
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    If you are different than the regular people around you, you are bound to run into problems. A talkative and friendly nature in a set of mostly reserved residents, or a mostly private nature in a group as social as yours - both will cause some social discomfort.

    It is up to you how you want to deal with it. People take their cues from you. If you are comfortable and content with your level of interaction, they will accept it over time. In fact, it might work to your advantage - when you call or meet them, it is a special occasion and they recognize that. But, with growing children, you do need to socialize with other parents. This is for a short phase - till the time kids are 8 or 9 years old, when they start to manage their own friendships and you can just be hi-bye with parents of your kids' friends.

    What is the difference between potlucks and parties? You seem to not go to one but go to the other. Is a party an event where only the host cooks? With young children and lack of maid servant help, potlucks are a necessity for a while as people want to meet frequently but cannot handle cooking for many.
     
    Rihana, Aug 15, 2013
    Rihana, Aug 15, 2013
    #9
    2 people like this.

Share This Page