How do I stop getting jealous?

Vibha, to be frank I didn't consider the birthday boy... I am fed up with his parents and grandparents... I can't stand them anymore... They keep copying and buying and doing the same stuff I do when they do they seem to be soo happy with it but when I do it thry get jealous and keep long faces for days together... So, I no more care about her or her son... Am sorry...

 

I know its irks if someone copies all we do..I have sailed in your same boat..Even small little things as in my cooking menu for the day when discussed gets copied..what should I say..I just try to keep my cool..These are part and parcel of everyone's life..Better do not disclose your plans before hand..There might be few who could copy after you execute your plan..you definitely cannot do anything about that..Relax yourself and just look at your life..don't bother about others..it is easy to say but practically difficult..there were times when I used to get irritated for the same copycats issue but now am least bother...I have made up my mind to preserve my sanity..

 

They are right. Why would you not allow her to copy you? You are living in one country and she in another so there won't be any common guests obviously to think about who copied whom....anyways, when you don't feel comfortable, it's better not to share ideas.

Good thing that you gave reasons and didn't show her your ideas for her son's birthday. You don't like her to copy you so, you didn't share the ideas. You didn't even post a single pic in FB. Very good. But what I don't get is, why you had to show her your pics after her kid's birthday? You should have avoided and have never shown her. This may look that you are trying to show off and making her jealous.

I completely agree with what Vibha said.

 

Friends,

Many of you said that you felt jealous when somebody copied your style. My solution to your feelings is just to think, "if the idea was really your brain child"!

Clothing sense , birthday party ideas , tiaras etc were started by some ace designer in some part of the world , and we all are just copyng it either from some website or magazine or movie stars without them knowing it! And when some other person does the same thing , should you really feel bad?How do you know he/she is not following the same source as you followed?Does it even fall in the lines of plagiarism??

Why do you think you are the only source of inspiration to the other person? Even the other person can think , that she had planned the exact same cloths or ideas for a party , but since you got the opportunity to execute 1st she looks like the one who copied. But since you are the one feeling bad , and the other person s feelings are unknown to you , you feel you are the victim and feel jealous. Someone said about baby poses being copied. Just think how many poses can a infant give with such a little mass??They are bound to be somewhat same na..Whats there to make the other person villain for it?

I think these jealousy feelings just take the fun out of everything. You plan an event , spend a fortune on it and finally dont even post the pics on FB , lest they will be copied!! I think a bunch of lousy relative praise the other person just to make you feel bad. Its them to be blamed who i am sure must be doing the same thing at each and every party to get a better party the next time!

So next time you feel some one copies you, just think of the original source of the fashion , and tell to yourself , "If Kareena doesnt mind me wearing white kajal , why should i feel jealous of x wearing the same after i have already sported that fasion"!

 

Being jealous you are just wasting your energy on something really not worthyyy .. instead dont give importance to wht thy do and cook ..let thm live their life u live yours......

 

frankly speaking, I don't mind anyone taking my ideas or copying my ideas as long as they acknowledge me for the same or don't flaunt those as their own creativity..i absolutely hate it.

I have problem with other set of people like my cousin..my cousin is younger to me and married just 2 months earlier than me. her husband works as s/w professional in hyd who is not professionally not settled but financially well off. they get financial support to meet their needs. they stayed in duplex house for rent in centre of the city. rent alone is 15000 and his salary is hardly 30k a month or so. we both carried same time. she had her delivery in town hospital. we used to be at our hometown at around same time. she used to carry kinley water bottles for herself and kid and used to flaunt that they hav mineral water jus like us while I used not to have normal tap water(I dint mind at all) and for my kid I used to boil local mineral water cans. they use car seat, they use sleep plays in hot weather and always used to add that they lead life much sophisticated than US. I don't mind her doing sach antics but it irked me a lot when she puts me down saying we don't liveup to the mark.. now she purposely joined in hospital providing epidural ( jus because people in US avail epidural)..I seriously never though how much I changed others lives..

 

i live in a different country but our sons birthday were celebrated in the same place. I don't care about the guests or I don't expect appreciations... I just don't like her way of copying and then showing off to me as if it was all her ideas... I can't act that matured and act all good in front of her... When I said I shared the pics with her, I meant I shRed it on fb... All my friends including her were asking for the pics but I avoided it just coz I didn't want her to see it before her sons birthday... N I know she got jealous after seeing it but I just don't care... When she can show off and act smart, I too can... After all, I don't copy anything from her...

 

I hear you OP. Unfortunately you are going to get mixed responses on this forum : some that will give you suggestions, some that will tell you, you are wrongly assuming things. And there is no way you can prove, that you are not assuming.
If I understand right, your heartburn is more around the missing acknowledgement than the actual copying itself. I understand how irritating that can get, and also think, it is only human to feel like that. The only solution here is to continue doing what you are already doing. If possible, go directly confront the party (that is, if you are ok with the risk of ruining the relationship.). By the way, if it makes you feel any better, share your stuff with a limited set of friends on FB. Or just restrict her from viewing your stuff. These are the available options I can think of.

 

If she is as immature as she sounds dear then you are better off without her but lets not think bad about the fruit because the tree is poisoned...