Hi ILs, I have a problem and need your valuable suggestions. Let me tell you about my family. I am married and my husband is a great guy. I have moved to the US after my marriage. My parents and bro stay in India in different cities. My bro has completed his masters and is working now. He is a highly independent person. He is very intelligent and loves to have fun. He is financially very well off and often makes fun trips to various countries. Now about my parents. They were born in rural parts of South India. With the financial support of their uneducated parents, they did their education. Both of them are highly educated. One of them is working and the other one has retired. They are very well off too. They are loving parents and have done so much for me and my bro. But the prob is my dad is very short tempered. He is a perfectionist and expects everybody to be like him. My mom is so much used to it that she does not bother. He also speaks whatever runs through his head.. without even considering the feelings of others. He can be very hurtful sometimes. Also, he always feels he is right. But by heart is a very nice person.. he helps poor people a lot.. He gets so emotional when he sees underprivileged people and always wants to help them. When i was growing up (in my teens), I did not like being scolded every time. I used to fight with him and I have felt bad for being his daughter. He does not understand that whenever he scolds or fights, it has an impact. He used to scold me badly for silly things and then talk to me normally after that. And I used to have a tough time dealing with it. My bro and I never used to discuss on how we felt about the entire situation. Recently, my bro has started opening up to me. He says he knows they love him and all that, but he just is not able to tolerate what is going on. Whenever he visits my parents, the usual scolding my mom,bro for silly things happens and he feels frustrated. He does not feel like visiting them often cos he has no peace of mind there. He does not want to hurt them so he tells them he has work and avoids visiting them. He goes to my parents house once in 2 or 3 months. And my dad can be annoying at times. For eg - my bro had visited them and he left his laptop unlocked in his room. My dad who went to his room, was just using it. My bro did not notice it. There were some pics that he had taken with his friends. And my dad happened to see them. There was a girl in few pics with my bro and my dad asked him if it is girl friend (they are looking out a girl for him and are okay if he chooses one for himself) He got pissed off mainly because my dad was looking into his laptop and secondly because he asked him if its his girlfriend. There was a fight. My dad called me and told me about it. he said "don't I have the right to look into his laptop/camera or wallet?" I said - NO. My bro is all grown up and he needs his privacy too. My dad couldn't accept this. I dint argue with him. I din't know how to make him understand that just because we are his kids, it does not mean that we need to tell him everything and have no privacy. My mom feels very bad that my bro does not visit them often and cries to him. He tells me that he is fed up of this drama. He very well understands that they love him but he just feels suffocated. Talking to my mom separately will not work as she cannot keep anything to herself. Whatever we tell her goes to my dad the next second! I just feel soooooo bad.. I want all of us to be happy. They have accomplished so much in life and i want them to have a peaceful retired life. How do I handle this? I feel bad for my parents and for my bro.. I cry almost everyday .. cos I feel parents are just left out.. My husband feels bad for me and says we'll move back to India in a couple of years. My bro visiting my parents will make them happy.. but he is not too happy when my father is always shouting for stupid silly things. Sorry for the long post.