how did your in laws react when u had your second baby also as a girl?

pls tell them ...whoever has such thoughts/inlaws-a WOMAN leaves her own house to marry someone n increase their progeny... a MOTHER bears n gives birth to a child...so whoever desires a son/grandson must also think that without a girl there will not be anymore DIL's left to carry forward their progeny....it is a GIRL who is the biggest blessing of God to mankind but it is ppl with such narrow thoughts who are changing this blessing into a curse...

 

We have two amazing daughters.I always wanted two daughters 1-2 years apart and had chosen the names even before we had planned our babies.Husband just wanted healthy babies.As for in laws...there was no direct talks but little things like...why do you address the unborn child in the female gender etc...but nothing much although like all older people there was expectation of at least one boy.

When my second daughter was born....no one from home could come for the delivery so we only could call them up and inform. There was general acceptance.

A year after the second daughter...my mom-in law just mentioned that the third could be a boy when I told her...no more kids We have closed our baby factory....
She was so upset and cursed us for not involving them in the decision. Our reaction was that it was not their decision to make.They had their time and this was our time to decide.

My husband had a vasectomy 2 months after my second daughter was born.

In fact my BIL also has 2 daughters.
My sister has two daughters and my brother has one of each. Between the two of us and our siblings we have 7 girls and 1 boy.We as a family have made our contribution towards keeping the gender balance of the country.


To be fair to the in laws ...they have never shown any negative feelings about the daughters and since their other son also had two daughters ...we will never know if they would have shown more pleasure in the birth of the son.

 

Scientifically, its their son who bore the X Chromosomes and you have no part in deciding the sex.
Show them the proof and tell them they wouldnt have spoken this way had they been educated...
I get furious when I hear about these people...2 girls is a true blessing...there are so many people around who would do anything to have 2 gals (including me).

 

If they insist, tell them its their son's fault. If husband insists, tell them you gave him two tries, he did not get a boy. why should you go for third and find it is a daughter too?

Now he can set up his legacy with his daughters by giving them best of education, values and love.

 

My conversations with one of my school friends, she had a baby boy recently
She : glad its a baby boy cause you know how the ILaws need a boy so the genes blah blah can spread . Now that I stood up to their expectations am really happy.
Me: bah!! Spread genes, we aren't some kinda royalty that our genes need to spread blah blah. And we have kids for ourselves not so we can make ILaws happy, to have expectation that it will be a boy is kinda wrong.
She : looks like you have no respect for your ILaws .
Me : :bonk :spin

 

You: Looks like you have no self-respect :bonk

How stupid some women are... these are the species that spoil our name. My SIL is the same. She was super upset when she had her DD. She made this remarkable declaration, "I will raise her just like a boy. I'm going to dress her only in jeans and trousers, no frocks or skirts for her ever." One admirable sentiment, followed by shallowest of statement. Wow !!

 

Forget about old generation .....I saw so many of my friends and relatives ( who belong to so called 21st century)saying they don't need second baby because their first child was son and I think with this mentality even next coming generations too face these gender problems....this is virus .....no one can help .

It is better if they keep that thinking to themselves but the worst thing is they show and speak piety on girl and praising physical and intellectual power of boys in front of kids too .......Guess what kind of impression a child gets on hearing such things at their own home forget about society.

.I adviced many women not to talk like that in front of kids (atleast )but their answer is this is truth that they need to face when they grew up and step in society ...:bonk

Anyway I don't think any discussions will help unless people's mind set changes ..till then raise girl with healthy self esteem and avoid discussing such topics in front of kids.

 

I am the younger of 2 daughters. My mother always said that despite all the hassle my grandmother (my father's mother) gave her, the one thing she NEVER held against her is that she only had girls. Apparently when I was born one of the neighbours dared to come and sympathize with her about there being another grand daughter. She apparently blasted that woman saying "even I don't care that she had another daughter, so what?? You are a woman, I am a woman, without girls no kids would be born tomorrow" So keep quiet about this only girls no boys talk"

My mother said that that day she decided that no matter what, she would be very very loyal to her MIL. Till the day she died, no matter how much she troubled my mother, my mother never bad mouthed her to anybody.

 

Growing up I always heard similiar comments regarding women from my mom and those around us. They always said "pray that she finds a good husband" vs. my brothers was "pray that he becomes successful". I hated the gender bias & the assumption that girls are burden on parents and parents need to save up for her marriage.

Those things use to make me mad & I would work extra hard to be successful in school & then work. I contributed way more than my brother did to my parents financially. And I took pride in providing all those people wrong that a girl can be just as helpful to parents as son & you don't need to save up for her.

But sadlly as my marriage is drawing closer & I am writing checks and thinking about future, I find myself reluctant to give money to parents. My fiance isn't financially well off & I am paying for lot of the wedding expensive. Now I try to save money for our future (my fiance and I) instead of offer money to parents. I feel sad realizing it but my mom always taught me to cover my back before I help others & they aren't in dying need for money. It is just the extra expensive they can live without