How did this Pattern get Established?

Hi all,

I see many ladies saying that they cook, clean and do all the chores at home apart from going office and bringing home a paycheck. Whereas the H sits and watches TV, eats, and do things he wants to..Trouble increases when in joint family.:shaking:
In my friend’s case, a pattern was established by HER right after marriage. She herself got up at 4.30 AM, prepared bf, lunch, tea for all, ironed the clothes of all and left to work travelling 30 kms using public transport at 7.30 AM in the morning whereas all her H did was go to gym, come back and start to office which is few minutes away..When questioned she told she did everything out of love! MIL who was cooking till the previous day not only stopped entering into the kitchen but also sent the maid home! Today she is no longer my dear friend she used to be.:thumbsdown

The case is worse if all the tasks are assigned to the DIL.:bang.To those DILs, Didn’t you show the slightest resentment on your face while doing it all or show your displeasure to H?

If he is unable to help, he should at least appoint a maid and cook to help his darling wife and tell his mom to help DW out..If this amount of fairness is also not there in a marriage then whats the point of love and the very institution of marriage where there is no empathy?

Also ladies start losing their charm with this much responsibilities surrounding them. The once bubbly, happy girl whom the H loved to bits gradually turns into a nagging quarrelsome wife. Note that H never loved us for our housekeeping skills. He loved us for our character, looks, smile, figure etc what not. She stops taking care of herself in pursuit of winning H’s love whereas the H remains the same and wonders what happened to the wife. The more she demands his time, the more he stays aloof..At the end all the love is broken to pieces..Who is the reason,” It is WE girls”.

So some possible solutions:

1) Take care of yourself at any cost...threading, occasional facials and wearing a sunscreen, lip gloss and kajal does wonders. Dress well for office as well as at home..Eat healthy and on time.

2) Keep a maid for cleaning else buy sophisticated items like washing machine, dishwasher, robotic floor cleaner, juicer, roti maker etc to make your life simple. Don’t expect H to buy it for you do it yourself one by one. Only dishwasher is costly all others can be bought within 10,000/-

3) If H is a baby who doesn’t lift a finger, assign him all the tasks inside your room. In my case, he has to fold the bed sheets, clean our laptop table and fold the clothes into the wardrobe. Also mobile charging, vehicle maintenance, bill payments can be assigned to him. I have no time to hang out with him so the only outing we go is for grocery and vegetable marketing.

4) If you stay in JF, just be a spectator of how the house runs in the initial days and assign yourself the tasks you are comfortable with..In my case, for cooking, though I cook well, I never take the risk of proving my love. I do volunteer to help MIL..The day she feels she cant cook anymore or tired, I will appoint a cook.

5) Sleep well. If you have the habit of waking up a bit late don’t change it at any cost. I was criticized for this in the initial days. But I stuck onto my schedule of 7.00 AM during weekdays and 9:00 A M during weekends

6) If you have some hobby stick onto it no matter what. If you read paper, novels or practice singing don’t give excuses that you find no time after marriage. Make time for yourself

7) If you have pain tells it openly instead of keeping mum and expecting people to ask you. Take rest the chores can wait.


Ladies chill out Chillout!We have got only one life and we have to make it beautiful..Gracious ladies do share your views/ tips for a better peaceful lifestyle for today’s women..