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how DH loves wife

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by swa9, Mar 24, 2010.

  1. swa9

    swa9 New IL'ite

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    hi all
    I need to know that how DH loves wife and how wife should love DH.
    PLEASE TO MY POST.WAITING.....
     
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  2. shrikala

    shrikala Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,
    it would be unfair to genarlize. here is my take
    Unconditionally... but how each one show their love is different and as long as one knows that their spouse loves him/her then it shouldn't matter how the love is expressed.
     
  3. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Swa,

    Can U elaborate on why you need to know this? Question was a little unclear plus you did not put in your own opinion..

    And I agree Shrikala...Unconditionally..

    FL
     
  4. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Swa9,
    Everyone has an unique way of showing their love to their spouse and in fact may even have an unique definition for love too.

    Though the ways we express the love may differ, I believe that the outcome would be the same - "feel loved"

    So personally, As a wife (dear wife) if I could provide a Happy Home for my man which he looks forward to come after a long day at work with no strings attached (like he should do this and that as a way to gratify me for what I do ) I feel happy and content that I do all the right things as a wife and that is how I express my love. And I honestly feel that my love is reciprocated. What more do I want in life?! :thumbsup

    The ways I keep my home and him happy is by not nagging, not forcing, not demanding, and loving his loved ones. I am in no ways saying that if a home is not happy it is only becoz a wife nags, demands, forces the husband - one size never fits all - I am talking about my take on life, that is all.

    But what I believe is, if I learn to let go of small things, life will reward me with the Big thing - HAPPINESS.

    How a DH should love his DW? I honestly had no expectation when I married him. I always thought that I would love and give my everything to whoever my husband is. Though I am a working woman, I think I got stuck in some old century or so.. :rotfl But it is worth it.. no complaints there. Mine was an arranged marriage, by the way.

    My success formula is "Do your part and leave the rest to God."
    I loved/love mine (DH) with a wholeheart and I won a heart that loves the whole ME. :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2010
  5. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Swa9,

    You know jigsaw puzzle game.....love is something similar to that....collecting all the pieces - expectations, love, care, etc etc from both the sides [DH and DW] and putting it together in right places to get a beautiful picture called HAPPY MARRIED LIFE. :)

    Few couples can never be together.
    Few will have all the pieces with them but do not place them in right positions.
    Very few strive hard to get the picture done.

    Interesting game....when it comes in love, we all get shattered.
     
  6. aruna_077

    aruna_077 Senior IL'ite

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    Unconditional is easily said than done.

    But not impossible.

    It may take years to make your love stronger each day.

    Every fight and every patch up will strengthen love, trust, understanding and maturity.

    Love is a gradual phenomenon!!
     
  7. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    My perception of love in married life either ways:

    1) You want to come home & feel great about it.. after office or vacation or shopping.
    2) You see more of positives of your spouse.
    3) You remain neutral when other relations are fighting but provide emotional support to your spouse back in BR.
    4) You remember special days and favourite dishes/ choice of that spouse to make that day special, memorable with each passing year.
    5) You dont utter a hurtful word for spouse or their parent.
    6) Give attention to a spouse in case of a medical condition or show interest.
    7) Feel great about being married.. instead of being Jealous looking at other couples who are smiling or walking hand in hand.
    8) Love to introduce your spouse to your contacts the way they're.

    and many more.. it varies from person to person and time to time... sometimes you feel special and sometimes dejected.. but love is one feeling that makes you blind & takes away your darker shade.
     
  8. Tugga

    Tugga Silver IL'ite

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    I loved the above lines from Mithy. I think we are in the 2nd or 3rd position as we know we are compatible, but it is just the matter of placing things (everyone in our case) in the right place. Also we try hard to have a happy married life.

    Ok... Coming to the OP, here goes my take in this:-

    Love in marriage life comes with a package of expectation, relationship, finance, luck, personalities, and time.

    You cannot be lovy dovy all the time if you are facing a very tight economic condition at home. It involves lots of stress, and one cannot think about "LOVE" when he is having too much problems outside. At the same time their personality do change at times with so many problems.

    Secondly, no matter how rich you are, you can not experince pure love and affection if your spouce do not have time to spend with you. In my case, long distanced relationship made a big difference in our love.

    Also the influence of parents/external parties do play a very big role here. The husband/wife become so romantic, helpful, and understanding when they live alone. But the same couple act weirdly when others are around. This is something some men/women can not balance in their life.

    Finally EVERYTHING depends on what you want in your life... I mean your expectations!!!

    For instance... I want to live with my DH in our home (not with ILs, not with parents, but just the two of us) and I would be very happy if I can spend all my life with him.
    I don't expect any gifts, suger coated words, or appriciation from my DH, but I want him to be understanding, caring and adjusting friend/husband and a BIG EMOTIONAL SUPPORT when I am down.
    Though my DH nodded his head when we talked this lines before marriage, he has changed with time and focussed on finances/economy/investments/career after marriage. Hence I had to live a long distanced life and also he failed to understand my emotional needs at times.

    At the same time, my DH never wanted a home maker... He never cared about what food I make, how clean my home is, and other homly stuff. For him a good wife means a leading career oriented woman. I was one before marriage, but my inner self always wanted a good family.

    Adjustment from both sides helps you to meet in a certain point where both of you are happy and satisfied. This is what called LOVE in a marriage life. This is what we have been doing now!!!

    Generally speaking... DH shows his love by caring, being romantic, giving gifts, understanding her emotions, and be there for her all the time.
    DW shows her love by cooking, helping him have a nice home after hectic office times, managing his personal life (as men are not good in it) and understand and adjust with his mood fluctuations.

    It depends on the person. Everyone has their unique way of expressing love.
     
  9. swa9

    swa9 New IL'ite

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    hello friends
    thank u for reply.and suggestion for shilpaMa and sugga.how to start my problem i am not understanding.
    ok
    i got engaged last year feb' in one week he sawed me and got engaged.on the engagment day night he went to usa.he did not talk with me anything.after he goes to usa he called me and talking that i will apply for h1 ready for ur certificate.after that i said i am poor in studies and i failed in degree and PG also and i had health problem also.after i said all this if he like he should be calm or he should be reject the married.but he to his mother and his mother made a seen.ok i adjusted that.he don't call me every day if he calls also he will only 5mins.ok that adjusted bcoz he is reserved and me to reserved.i got married in may 2weeks he is in india after that he went to usa.in that to weeks he did not with me nice like he will sit with his parents and i will be alone in anyother room .what his mother says he will not say but what i will say he will say to his mother i did not say anything on his mother.dh mother will say everry day ur mother did not keep u gold but my mom kept what she said i will keep that she kept.ok that too i adjusted.

    After 5months i came to usa(becoz of some visa problem)i did not adjust usa weather i am geting sleep he should give me time na.when he comes frm office he don't ask how do u feel he will go to kicten and see what i did and will says that don't sleep i don't like that.i said some time i need to adjusted this weather but he will say that if u will sleep u will sleep he don't understand.ok that i adjusted.

    i came in winter u all know how much cool it will be,when he come rm office he will check heater wheather i kept in high r not.if i keep also what the problem i don't understand.he will say every day current bill is coming so much and water bill,grocery,andetc

    when i want frist time to grocery shop i buyed nuts like almond,cashwenuts,etc he says that when ur in ur home u is to buy these all things.what if i don't eat in my home i should not eat ?he said that so much bill i got.if i like to buy kicten item like cookwear,boxs that is for him waste if he will buy sofa and tv that i not waste.i did not understand.

    if i don't wakeup in the morng some times he will underrstand like i don't like to do breakfast.how can he thing like that.
    he likes to me to do job but i don't like to do by forcly.why he should not ask when he sees that i want working gril.
    His health got some problem i am giving to eat everyday dryfurits and nuts.when my health got problem y he won't say that u to eat.

    how should i understandplease help me.
     
  10. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I just wanted to know did you give him the dowry?
     

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