About us: We have been married for 4 years and have a kid of 1+ years.Ours was a (should say)love marriage with considerable acceptance from both of our parents. About me: I am an IT Professional and came here on a work visa and got married later.I am the last kid in my family and all my siblings are considerably elder to me. My parents visit us once a year stay for a month or so. I have couple of siblings who live close by just a few miles away and have quiet a few relatives in and around town. About my husband: He is an IT Professional too came here to work and we got married later. He is the first kid in his family and have a few siblings who are younger to him(younger to me as well) by a few years.He has no relatives here. In the first few years it looked like it was fine except for a few issues of which some still linger. However, that is not the issue now. He has this moody/irritation cycle where he will be upset for the most simplest thing even if it is his own fault and not talk for days or weeks and ignore people around as though they don't exist and will suddenly start talking as though nothing had happened. Will not apologize or feel bad for what he did. After the kid was born I see this has increased a lot. He gets irritated with me if the kid cries or is sick. It is so hard for me to care for the kid and also try to manage my husband. He would even be upset with me for days because I fed the kid with hand instead of a spoon. He wants to control me on everything, as long as you go by what he says with no objections or comments it is fine, the moment you open your mouth even with suggestions, he would say you won't listen to anything I say. For you only your family(before marriage) comes first. I talk to my siblings and my parents(when they are here) a few times in a week. He does not like this.He thinks we talk about him. He asks what else could you talk. I am of the kind who does not show out/share any issues (between me and my husband)with my family because it would create an impression for them and that may not change even if I patch up with my spouse.I have told him and explained several times that I don't talk about him. But he would not be convinced. And there is no instance where he found out that I actually spoke about him. But if any of my family members make a casual comment he still thinks I told them something and that is the reason they commented that. And for the same reason he does not want any of my family members to visit me. We live so close by and my siblings kids have been very close to me even before I was married and they feel I'm their second Mom.My husband just hates this.He says he won't be comfortable if his kid feels so close to my siblings. He is so loving to our kid but would show so much hostility to my siblings kids. He does not like my family members spending time with my kid, because he does not want my kid to be close to any of them. He is over possessive with the kid.He did not like or let my mom do anything for the kid right from day 1(right from the hospital). Now due to his over possessiveness, insecurity and inferiority complex he does not want any of my family members to visit me. When I was on a break my sister sometimes visits me during the day when she is off from work and he just hates this. He asks me why I did not tell him that she was going to visit. And even if I do. He says why din't you ask me before saying yes to her. My question is I'm home, my sister just drops in for 10-15 mins. And he is at work. Why should I get his permission. Is'nt it my house too. Don't I have the freedom to meet my family. How does it hurt. It is the same if I go as well, I go to spend an hour with my parents at my siblings house just a few miles away once during the week (when I was not working) when he is at work. He makes a big deal about that. He tells me I have to get his permission and I 'm bound to tell him because I'm taking the kid. (Back in India his married sis and kids spend more than 12 hours everyday at her parents home.) So now he is so hostile with my parents and family members that he won't talk a word to them even when they come home and shows it all in his facial expression.My parents are getting old they come here not to bother us but just try to be helpful cook, take care of the kid etc. I don't think they deserve this. He says he will be happy to have his parents and spend for them than spend for mine. By spending for my parents he means just the food expense when they are here.We don't take them on vaccations or anything. All other expense they bring money back from India. And every time they come they bring all sorts of stuff and jewellery and clothes for us. And in return, I don't give them any money. But my husband does give his parents money with out my knowledge all these years. I figure it out from his conversation or in someother form bank account etc. Even if I ask him he says do I have to tell you. I always ask his parents to come, but they don't because they have other commitments for other siblings. What can I do? Just because his parents don't get to spend time with him or our kid. WHy shouldn't my family members do. It is all about feasibility. There are no other issues between my family members and him. If I ask why he does not like them, he says I don't like them and I don't have to have a reason. He has got onto this doubting mode. If my siblings call and my husband is home for lunch, they generally say ok go serve lunch for him and we can talk later. But he thinks I cut the call just because he got home. The more I try to satisfy or please him the more he finds fault and makes it a big deal. I'm to the point where I think I can't just satisy him. Earlier during our marriage he was the one who was here in this state and I moved from a different state to join him and the place he picked to stay was close to my siblings I basically did not want that. And now he says all that he did by mistake and either wants to move to a different state or move back to India. Earlier he never prefered moving back to India. Now, all of a sudden he wants to move back. He says he is going to move with the kid whether I come or not. My parents lived with me before we were married and He very much knew and I have told him then that my parents would visit us even after we get married. He did not have an issue then. But everything is a issue now, even me changing the A/C temperature in the house, because he thinks I'm doing it for them, though the actual reason was I found it a little warmer than usual. Basically, the problem I feel is his insecurity, over possessiveness, inferior feeling that he does not have any family out here and may be a indirect form of jealousy. Because, he gets so irritated even if I spend some time with my mom in the kitchen. And if I seem happy in their company, he will be wild. How can you be happy when we just had an argument. Why not, Would you be sobbing to everybody you see because you had an argument. Yes it is going to be at the back of your head bothering you but you don't cry to every soul you see. The more I try to accomodate his needs the more he expects and makes me suffocate. He is just not happy with what I do. If somebody has similar experience throw some light on how I can handle this.