Household Chores Division

I am soo mad . Cant put thoughts into words right now.

Even if you have a full time job and contribute equally $$$ wise, it feels like household stuff is still primarily your responsibitliy and anythign the husband does is 'helping' you ?? WTH....

 

we actually have transparent $$$ , its a common pool. we both control and agree upon. I just meant to say , I have a full time job too!
But its hard to agree upon house hold chores....
Him taking care of car maintenace etc or some furniture assembly (which granted , I cannot) doesnt equal every day (some few times a day) chores like cooking and grocery!
I dont think an exact division of you cook 3.5 days and i do 3.5 is meaningful.
But I resent the fact that somehow , it always feels like primarily my responsibility!

 

I do have monthly cleaning service - this was the primary reason, I hired them.
We said , I do the cooking and he does the dishes. but obviously not sticking to it is not a punishable crime in the household.
I do the dishes some days - when I am in the kitchen waiting for the occasional stirring etc ( because , I would completey forget about it , If I left the kitchen) or if he gets late at work.
On Fridays , when he is supposed to cook , most of the times , lets just say other plans happen! I dont complain .
But reviewing 2016 expenses, it has been established that we spend more than reasonable $$ on eating out.
But really , its not just upto me to fix that!

 

Exactly , its the training part I seem to be struggling with.
I cut slack with his chores ( for whatever reason) , I dont get the same courtesy extended - when I slack off ( with good reason)
Or I dont know if I am being sensitive.. But I do not like , being asked , 'what do I eat ?' or a casual ' no lunch for tomorrow for me'

And this from a guy who has the label of 'helpful husband' Because , really if he knows where the kitchen is and has ever touched some utensils around, then he is the BEST

 

In general , I love the confidence most men have. Even Sheryl Sandberg mentioned it in a TED talk.
Whatever they do , they think they are the best and doing amazing.
While we women always tend to question if we are doing enough , good enough..
Can we ever retrain ourselves or will it be a slow change over generations?