House Budget

Let us summarize!
You dont pay rent, you dont buy groceries! Probably for most people that is the biggest chunk (>60%) of their monthly spending
You are 35, you are married, you both earn, you have a baby!
If you can both earn and work and have a car each and more - the Question you should ask yourself is:
Can you afford YOUR living expenses even if your mom is NOT spending on your groceries or rent ??
(You dont mention if the arrangement with your mom is temporary due to the new baby)
Also ask yourself: Do you really think you or your DH should even mention to mom the money spent by DH for everyday items?

If you have just had a baby - you would have expenses from your baby, of course! Maybe some additional help that you might have recruited, maybe some doctor visits and vaccines, lots of baby specific items.

So maybe the 80000 figure also includes some one time costs, hospital expenses etc.

Having recognised this, now, sit down with a pen/paper or Excel/Google sheet - make a list and put in ballpark figures, with break ups:
(Adding rent and groceries because whether YOU spend it or your mom does, at your stage of life, you should be able to, so it is better to factor it in the costs for it)
Divide it into Yearly and monthly as shown in the pic ... Multiply monthly expenses by 12.

1) Rent + Maintenance
2) Groceries: Monthly staples, Vegetables/Fruits, Dairy (include soaps and detergents, cosmetics, creams etc)
3) Help bills: Daily maid, Weekly maid, Cook, Nursing, Massage, Dog walker, Car cleaner, beauty parlour etc
4) Devices bills: Electricity & Water bill, Phones bills, TV subscriptions, Netflix, Amazon prime, Broadband
5) Fees: If you have an older child - fees, day care, extra classes etc
6) Vehicles bills: Monthly petrol (Multiply weekly by 4), Yearly maintenance, Insurance etc
7) Food bills: Any food you buy apart from regular staples, vegetables, fruits - Yes I mean swiggy, zomato, sudden cravings - check the past few months bills and write an average.
8) New baby expenses: Dont add the one time hospital bill during birth - but add the recurring expenses like vaccines etc
9) Loan EMIs that you pay: Personal loan, Vehicle loan, Appliance loan, Home loan etc
20) Any insurance, savings that you do monthly? - Add them here
21) Anything else you spend on? Gym, Travel, Clothes, shoes, new devices etc you can add it as a per year cost instead of per month
e.g


Finally Add up all the yearly costs and then divide by 12.
See what figure you get! Can you afford it? Then you will know if your salaries are enough for your spending!
And also if you can plan some savings for your child's future! Then you can decide whether your spending is too much !

Add plans for your new baby: Make a list of assets/liabilities you have, emergency funds (should be 6 X monthly spend) that you have in cash, what are your future plans for her, how are you going to educate her, insurance arrangements etc... and start making plans to put away some money every month for these purposes too...
My suggestion: As long as you are with mom, whatever she spends for your sake or whatever savings you are making in rent and groceries, put an equal amount into your daughter's savings - believe me, you will see a huge corpus building up !

On the flip side: If you cannot reduce your spending, think of ways where you can make more money! Extra jobs, freelancing, Think of investments where your money will make more money, think of ways passive income can be earned... but do understand that the more the returns in any investment, the more the risk!

Financial planning is not so difficult - do check out your bank websites and google ... but dont trust the so called financial planners without doing your own research!

All the best with your new baby! Hope once you put them on paper, you feel better about your expenses and earnings and financial health!
Keep smiling!
HR

 

@hrastro has said it all.

In addition to what she has covered, I would like to emphasize with you on one thing.

You are at your mother's place, occupying her space, her time and possibly her groceries and utilities. You are making her work more, and spend more.
This is not fair.

In relationships, it is important to maintain a win-win balance. If not, it won't be lasting long.

I understand your anxiety regarding excessive expenditure, and this is something you and your spouse needs to work on.

It is important to save a certain % of your income, and allocate another % for urgent needs (As a new mother you might need this). The rest can be spent on your needs & wants.

Plan a budget by choosing all the expenses you make during a month. Prioritize the expenses into 3 main categories, like most important, moderate and least important expenses.
Cut down the least important expenses, and find alternate ways to cover them up within your budget.
Eg: Instead of going to a restaurant, cook an elaborate restaurant style meal at home.

Since you are at your mother's place, it is better to include her in the monthly budget and cover the entire household expenses at least during your stay. This will somewhat compensate the support & services you receive at mom's place and a fair thing to do.

 

If you are old enough to have jobs and have a baby then you are old enough to support your own child. Where is it written that your parents have to financially support your child for 6 months? Are your parents extremely wealthy? You are complaining that you had to spend for your own child’s formula and diapers and buy food for the house? You are staying for free in your mom’s house, right? I am genuinely baffled.
They gave you a good education and got you married. You shouldn’t be still mooching off them. Many of us are managing completely on our own with kids because our parents are unable to travel to help us. You should manage your expenses within your salary. Don’t take your mother for granted.

 

OP , request you also.

focus on the main issue and discuss on that. Your question was on Expenses. You got good inputs. Do not get distracted by mum / mil.

 

Where are your major expenses? You didn't mention about that. Are you spending on baby or parents or gifting at functions or where else?

Usually my major expenses are rent/house loan, groceries, car and home insurance, utility bills including electricity, gas, water, government tax, maid, cook etc.

With small baby there are expenses like baby bed, diapers, baby food, medical, day care/nanny etc.

Do not expect from parents at this age. Your baby is already 9 months old. If parents can help first 6 months that's big help. I never had any helping hand. Many Indians living in foreign countries take care of kids and all chores by themselves.