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Hostile Treatment By Parents When Discussed With Home Owner Made His 2nd Wife Furious With My Dad

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Suma89, May 19, 2017.

  1. Suma89

    Suma89 New IL'ite

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    Hello all,

    1) have been a resident of Bangalore from past 10 years. I stayed as tenant eversince I went to Bangalore.
    I had stayed at Vijayanagar, in a Brahmin family home where they stayed at ground floor and top terrace had a single room with attached bath that they rented out to me. Post 4 years he asked me to vacate as he wanted to construct a new rooms for his married son on the terrace. So I vacated it. I was in search of new room and took help of real estate agents to find the home. I searched for 4-5 houses using agents. In that I got interested into home, 1 single room which was very spacious at reasonable price, on bldng's top terrace. I talked to owner of that and finalised the rent. I paid rs 4000 to real estate agents b4 finding that awesomely spacious room as usually rarely any single room will be spacious. I even went to meet owner and finalised the room. I went to meet after a week and talked to him a lot, I was really impressed with his down-to-earth, simple nature, that is what I found 1st about him. His parents were very rich and wealthy, despite being so rich at young age, being single son of his parents,he is managing multiple things, like, he said he worked in software for 7 yrs, after BSC COMPUTERS. He is very rich guy, having multiple homes in Bangalore like 1 single room, 1bhk,2bhk,3bhk etc like that nearly he had 100 homes due to which he was rich and not required to work at all.

    2)I paid the advance money of token and finalised it. I also told him on first day, if I join that room, can I take it 4 granted that I can stay atleast 3-4 years. He agreed saying he doesn't disturb me up till 3-4 years & also said since home is old 20 yrs he has plans of demolishing it after 5 yrs so I can comfortably stay there atleast 3-4 yrs. I shifted my things there on Aug,5, 2015. I was short of money during shifting for auto charges,which I requested new owner, he generously gave to guy at vegetable shop in front of new home.
    Also I gave his mobile num of that new owner to my dad. My dad spoke to him a lot about his profession, education his family background etc and found that new owner was actually affluent having very good political support, that even he leads a royal life, going to vacations, outings, parties, managing all homes, farms etc. But post shifting to that new room on terrace, some ppl & banged my door, they told they came to see all rooms of building saying that entire bldng was to be converted to paying guest. So I got shocked & called up the owner,he said 5 months back, he gave as in newspapers tat this building he wanted to convert to paying guest.
    So he asked me to ignore it even if some ppl came and saw my room, saying it's routine visit, untill some party or person is genuinely interested to pay atleast 3-4 lakhs lumpsome money to take ownership of that bldng & start a PG business is got, I shud ignore them not take them so seriously as he toughly believed no one wud come for such a a huge ransom AMT & around RS.1 lakh was rent for that bldng, so easily getting someone to pay such huge RS.5 lakh as advance & not able to pay RS.1 lakh as rent was next to impossible to get & it was rarest to happen. So I ignored it tentatively , but when some other grp of ppl again came to see entire bldng, after 1 month again, I asked owner calling as to why again ppl are disturbing,he said he has 1 more house at jayanagar asked me to shift there as now 1 party booked whole bldng 4 Paying guest business on rent basis. But i cudnt digest he would be so dishonest that he long back had plans to convert but still entertained me to come pay him advance and trapped me in his house, for no reason but to get me vacated I within just 1 month post my joining that home.

    3)I was staying at vijayanagar as all groceries,medical shops are nearby, I talked to my dad Abt this, my dad called him & asked to help him find new home by talking to him very politely & convincingly to make him realise he did great mistake towards me. So he asked some estate agent to find home for me. I went with estate agent saw 4-5 homes,but none of room was ok for me, since they were small, or in slum location. So I conveyed I wud like to see his another room at jayanagar. He gave me time someday, brought his own car, and showed me the room at jayanagar. It was not as big as Vijayanagar,single room, but was just OK, for time being as I don't have choice, later he called up my dad & informed him he wud help me in shifting things up 4 me as my dad requested him profusely to help me in shifting things up. He brought a van 1 fine day, & called up maid of vijaynagar building to help get all luggage down, but she was not in good terms with me, as one day, she fought with me severely for asking her to come from her work & open gatelock to which she had keys. She picked all my things from 3rd floor & threw them from 1st floor to ground Floor. I was surprised seeing how come she is helping when she is not in good terms with me,I was really heartbroken with way she dropped scatteredly all things on road, ongoers were staring at my luggage, then meanwhile owner came, I literally cried profusely, in front of him saying that she dropped all things from 1st floor. He asked her Abt same after picking up leftover things from my room by himself & keeping all luggage into van. He asked me not to pick single thing, by myself. He had brought one friend with him, himself & his friend really picked most of my luggage that were scattered on ground and put in van. He questioned as to why that maid was so rude to me,but she lied to him saying she put swiftly all things down as exactly how he asked her to do. After that he asked me to sit in van, while driving also, he consoled me, introduced his friend, along with luggage and his friend, shifted me to his new house. He did not allow me to touch a single thing by myself. But he himself along with neighbor Tenant of my room, and his friend in van, picked up all luggage,by themselves & placed in van. Later also when few things like bottles dropped on ground, he lifted all things by himself, & gave to me, and he told me to take help of ground floor neighbor guy to shift the things for me. Later at end of the day at 10pm he called me up, at night, & talked to me like a brother & told I am just like his sister & wud help me anytime. He consoled me for my bad day due to that terrible maid dropping all my things from 1st flr,& told he felt very bad as I cried b4 him & asked me to become bold & rigid. I really felt very gud, talking to him for 20 minutes.

    4)Also he told my dad was like his dad and my dad talked to him a lot he said many times he respects my dad like his dad and me like his own sister, so this was like WINNING a JACKPOT for me as no owner in Bangalore will not even offer a glass of water even when we go to their doorstep to pay the rent to them. But asked me to tell if I need anything as help from him to ask him directly (told I am just like his sister & can call Abt anything anytime directly to him & stop informing him through my dad if I require anything, like fan,tube light or any cleaning to be done etc).
    Later, after some 15 days or so, there was some current coming in bathroom, of that room, which I sensed 3-4 times, to have problem corrected, i called up my dad & discussed with him, my dad inevitably told me to call up owner even if it was late 10pm at nite since it was winter and geyser was must to take bath, but I asked neighbor guy to talk to him as I was girl & his wife or parents mite think bad Abt him & me to call at late nites,I asked 1 of my neighbor guy to talk to convey issue about tap current in bathroom, thinking it was 10pm & ppl like his wife at home mite misunderstand if I call him up. But when the guy called owner,he got furious and scolded him that why shud he come in between me and him when I am the tenant there & asked to instantly hand over phone to me, when he addressed that I was having some current issue in bathroom. He scolded me & tat tenant guy, that I don't have rights to call him up whenever I want, he cannot entertain it anymore, post shifting home, I said sorry to him instantly when he scolded me "pls I am requesting u not to call me at odd times, & u don't have rights to call me disturbing me like this, & hereon always leave a message".

    5)I seriously felt shocked & came to know real opposite character of him, exactly opposite to how he behaved that day. So I never again asked him for any repair in bathroom, instead I started using electric gloves in bathroom to avoid current issue. Post that I never talked to him, never used to even open the latch of my door, even though every 2-3 days he used to come to that home where I stayed late in the nights at 11pm to neighbor guys, room,adjacent to my room,staying as tenants in single room by me on sharing basis. In 3rd floor 1 room, another room, and 1bhk is there, I stay in 1 room, 2 bachelor guys in middle single room, and 1bhk was empty. I never bothered to talk to him even for rent also, post that day of shouting & scolding even 4 dreaded problem of current issue in bathroom & when he called me to pay next months rent, I asked him why he scolded me that day when he himself told I can call him anytime to for getting rectified any issues in room. He said he never spoke in serious way,but instead in funny way,& he forgot it long back, asked me to drop it from my head if it hurted me & also apologized about it, when i stood up for myself that he scolded me at time of crisis, when even my life could have gone if current issue in tap could have not been resolved.

    6)I found him many times, he brought different different girls, 1 different girl each time,with him to the home where he shifted me,even though he got married 2 times, 1st wife probably got divorced due to his party,bar,pub culture that he used to often visit, post bringing girls, he used to have some wines, beers, drinks snacks with my neighbor tenant guys,ordered along with talks,chitchats Abt politics,general news, with neighbor guys, whatever he liked to talk, all this he did in adjacent room in which bachelor tenants were staying along with him,1 girl 2 Tenant's, used to participate in boozing along with him. 1 day if he brought 1 girl, next day he brought another girl. At times he took all of them in car to some bar,or pub in his car & dropped them back after 2-3 hours at nite 12 to 3 or 4 am, they repeatedly did same things. This way 4 months happened,in a week he used to come atleast 3 times with various girlfriends. One day I was standing near the park, near to his home, at nite 9:30pm. I told him I shall give rent next day, he said ok, u can give anytime,u want, but u can as well join the drinks, & general chitchats that he,neighbors were planning to have that day. I was really puzzled with his mood change now, from the day he scolded to this day I wondered how there can be dramatic shift. I told him I am not habituated to drink, so u pls carry on, he said, "I am not inviting u 4 drinks instead only for some general talks,opinions on stuffs they discuss while drinking etc ". I politely declined I have office at morning & wanted to sleep & can't join, so he said u have to tolerate the terrible noise we make, I said it doesn't bother me. But offlate, down 4 months back I had come to my hometown, where my mom,dad, & brother stays,with wife, my parents had done lot of partiality to me from my birth & now they called me from banaglore after 10 yrs,(although I visited once in 5-6 months but I stayed only for 3-4 weeks everytime I visited,only my dad calls me to visit my native,never my mom, she is always happy if I stay away from her), both of them treated me very hostilely, so to take help from some of my friends, about how to deal with parents who is only after getting me married imposing me to someone whom I don't like, I tried reaching owner of my home also as 1 wellwisher, apart from my very close friends to help me how to deal with my parents telling them entire story how my parents are emotionally abusive etc, I had left some messages, on owners phone that I want to talk to him, I used to send e-greeting cards to all my WhatsApp contacts one which my owner's name was also there, so it went to everyone. That owner was also my Facebook friend,I got 1 contact whom that owner had liked most posts, including his wife who was tagged in some posts, I called that guy(who was running some fitness programe) suspecting him to be knowing well about that owner, I inquired about fitness programs,his schedule,center etc & then asked whether he knows my owner, he 1st cudnt recognise, but later, he recognised & then I asked him "why does that owner behave that way, like sometimes he speaks so well, sometimes he scolds the people,does he treat everyone in same way or with relatives he is too soft etc & whether he likes only people from upper class wealthy set of people only to whom he always talks well, even if they call at night times, as I got scolded from him when I spoke to him about bathroom issue, He told, he doesn't know much,but said he was a good person. But he went & informed Abt my call to that owner's second wife, who saw my mesgs I left on owners mobile to talk to him, and coupled with this guy who conveyed her an unknown lady called him to inquire about her husband, etc. This made her furious and tried to reach me, many times I blocked her calls as from her face in Facebook I noticed she was dead arguing and quarrelsome lady admitted my owner himself many times that she is too possessive about him and he is forcing her to go to work as sitting in house her mind has become very devilish, quarrelsome and rude behaviour questioning him about his whereabouts, as he usually is interested in late night partying stuff etc. So I avoided her calls 2 days by blocking her. Post that next day I was shocked to see she directly called up my dads mobile in my hometown where I live & Spread severe rumours about me, stating that I have messaged her husband many times, & I like her husband, also I send messages very untimely,etc, also she spoke that her relative told her I was asking about owner, my dad sided me saying I am not of that sort who fall for anyone, infact never across her life she has such habits even to cultivate any friendship with unknown people etc, and said she is gem of character as far as I know. Later my dad scolded me why I called her relative, & warned me not to continue with messaging him or calling him. In fact even for rent I hesitate even to message him or call him & only for my family issue once I messaged him, but this lady is leaving to blame and question, the whole group of girls who roam with him day & nite at pubs,parties bars and targetting me who is so decent, well-cultured not discussing anything more except my job, going to outings with my friends, chitchatting with my parents (I will always be to my own life not even opening a door latch locked of my room any day eversince he scolded me for bathroom issue).

    7)I had called her relative to know why her hubby (owner)scolds severely at times(I was upset for nearly 2 months post he scolded me for bathroom current issue and cried profusely for a week as well), but sometimes he speaks so gently politely softly and caringly etc , is this his general behaviour inflicted to wards even relatives etc, or only to people whom he does not like he behaves fiercely. So my dad told I have sided you but pls don't continue to message them as his wife is terribly quarrelsome, so now when I go to the home where I stay as Tenant I am worried if she comes and argues with me. My dad asked me to wait for some days more so that his wife's furiousness will dampen & she mite not be so rude if she comes to talk to us, although home where I stay is far situated from home where owner & his wife is staying. Also when I observed that he brings well dressed girls in jeans, Western tops with him, my main aim to come to native resigning from office was to shed few kilos, i have already I lost 12 KGS, another 4 kilos if I loose, I shall be able to wear modern outfits and showcase that owner that I am not a village girl due to which he scolded me the other day when I called him for current issue, had some modern dressing taste girl called him, unlike me, probably he would not have shouted at me that way, that is what I feel strongly. Generally rich ppl have tendency to be social & reachable to girls who wear modern oustfits and look posh, when I stayed in his home for 1 year (I used to wear only salwars may be that made him think I am not modern fashionable girl so he often doesn't pick up calls and ignores all my messages even when I call for some room issues to talk like fan,tube light or power has gone etc, had I been like a very modern may be his beviour towards me wud have been good, that is what I feel strongly). So I want to face him now in modern outfits when I go there and show that I am not a village girl and even I can wear Western attire and look stunningly pretty because I have found him roaming with many such girls in modern outfits like jeans shirts roaming with him to bars and pubs with whom he behaves better than to his wife, also saw 2 times whenever his wife calls him, he speaks to her irritatedly, bcoz her dressing sense is not modern as well, I really wonder whether she knows about facts that he roams with girls at nite.
    I also observed 2-3 times most shocking thing, when standing at balcony of his home where I stay as Tenant, he came outside with posh modern outfits dressed girl, who wore a handbag,shirt & formal trouser. I was shocked to see despite he being married 2 times,1st one was a divorce, 2nd wife is so possessive Abt him amidst that he does all such things blindfolding her, I strongly felt the girl with whom he came outside just walked away like a strict professional & he went behind her.

    8)So please advice me how to face him and his wife, I really don't know how much he is involved in making his wife to talk to my dad and spread bad character rumours about me to my dad, or she herself picked up my dad's contact from his mobile as my dad & himself spoke many times when I newly shifted to his house. I heard from Dad that only she spoke not him. And how should I convince him or his wife i never have any intentions of being friendly to that owner, to whom even to ask some important things I should take appointments just like how we take it from bigshot people. He always ignored my calls & messages.
    I had even asked him, post scolding for tap current issue, "should I book an appointment to talk to him as he rudely scolded me the other day", 4 which he replied I have forgotten that & may me he said in funny way, not seriously, which again shocked me as he very well knew he scolded me, but now telling he said in funny way & he was not serious, because he was way too serious as per his tone,voice & kind of words he used.

    9)Please reply me at length detailedly about why I am being scapegoated by his wife as bad character when not a single day I called him & text him only messages, that too only for rent, also, many times power had gone, tubelight got screwed up,fan was not working I never even asked any help from help to get it repaired, but did all by myself calling some electricians etc. So what do you people think going through the kind of his erratic behaviour with heavy mood-swings (like he helps like a labourer picking all my luggage & says call me anytime 4 any help in ur room 1 day, next post 20 days, he scolds me for even life endangering issue like current in bathroom, post that after 4 months he invited me openly to join with him & Tenant's to have drinks,wine,beer & socially discuss with him, some chitchats,general stuffs etc.) I really don't understand why is he so erratic in his behaviour, and how should I convince his wife (hope she doesn't come to meet me when I go back)that I never meant to be friendly with him,as he is never reachable to me even for many things to be done in room due to which I am severely uncomfortable like fan is gone,light is off, and on contrary his 2nd wife brings allegations to my dad that I am behind him & interested to pursue relationships with him etc. I really wonder how can she be so idiot and blind that how a well-cultured,decent girl from a reputed conservative family like me befriend her husband, who is great boozer, always in bars,pubs, night life, hanging with many friends,girls etc, all throughout night & I called up her relative only to know Abt his short-temperedness to shout and blast at others like how he scolded me for tap current issue, and also couple of other times, when I rang him for power cutoff issues. How should I rate his behaviour towards me??
    Also I felt really bad that I had gained 5 kilos and hence dropped wearing Western attire, but after coming to my native I have shrugged off 15 KGS, now I look fabulous in Western dresses, so I really want to make him known that I can also dress with modern outfits and look fabulously well. Please reply seeing the context I have given in detail whether you think that he is also involved in this setup to call my dad and spread rumours about me, because, post that day when his wife called, he has unfriended me from Facebook, and made add friend option unavailable, also he has probably disabled his WhatsApp account, because his last seen is coming to be more than a week,but I find him active on Facebook as updated some public posts, also I am never feeling like calling now, as his wife quarreled with my dad that day, I don't feel like messaging or calling him. I am really not able to get as to how to make whether he is also equal partner in these things which I suspect is rare, because, a month back he talked to me so well about my parent's bad treatment at my house, & my parents forcing me to marry someone, he gave me gud pointers as to how to procastinate my marriage & make them convinced that I will marry only if I get proper guy accords to my choice & not some low earning, low qualified guy as selected by my parents. So pls let me know throughout my narration of context and sequence of events, do you all feel still worth to continue to stay at same house, in that case I would need to ask sorry for not fault of mine as his wife mistook when I asked about her husband to her distant relative about his short-temperedness whether it's with everyone or with few people like people from middle class, & people whom he doesn't find attractive or rich etc. I meant to ask whether, he has this tendency to scold most frequently or he scolds to specific group of people whom he doesn't like, so that it will help me in taking a decision as to I should quit from house where I am staying, or Continue, if he ignores calls,messages, and often scolds people of ordinary type etc. But his wife mistook that I asked him with intention of stealing her husband from her,which is least and never on my list, even sun can born in West but such a thing I never do as I know how self-respect respected, self-confident I am in all my actions. So please reply very detailedly, about how to resolve this situation and make owner realise I can be modern, as well and I am really decent well-cultured person that only my parents & relatives know about me...
     
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  2. Suma89

    Suma89 New IL'ite

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    I shall be really thankful for well crafted best alternative solutions, ,ideas given out in detail as to how to resolve this situation very smoothly.
     
  3. Suma89

    Suma89 New IL'ite

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    Thanks all in advance
    Suma
     
  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    From whatever you narrated I believe that the place you stay now and the set up there is not good for a "well-cultured,decent single girl from a reputed conservative family like " you to stay. So better find a safe place and move out. The longer you stay, you will face more troubles.

    I also dont understand why you make the house owner as your facebook/whatup friend.Pl dont do that again with any house owners. Always maintain a safe distance. I don't understand why you need to explore his behavior traits!! Why are you showing so much interest in this guy? Why did you explain your family issues and marriage proposals to a stranger? ( only close friends discuss those topics.). Better stay away from him. What do think a well-cultured/educated/ independent girl do? Ask yourself.

    He is your house owner. You are a tenant. Nothing else. Let the husband and his second wife deal with their issues. It is none of your headache. You don't need his certificate on your looks or modern out look or prove him that moderns dress suit you (!!!!??)or whatever. Ignore them.

    You don't have to prove anyone anything. Don't waste time thinking this issue. Focus on your own life ahead .Be strong. Better get out of there and move on with your life.

    Good luck
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
  5. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    A sad and sorry state of affairs. I think you need to move out and find a new place to live. You have developed an unhealthy fixation with your landlord. It can't lead to anywhere good. You don't need to impress your landlord, I think we are past that stage. The whole thing has become very toxic. I can understand you not wanting to leave because this is a relatively nice place to live. But, I really think you need to close this chapter of your life and find a new landlord. Don't be carried away because this landlord was nice to you once or twice. He may have been in a good mood, felt guilty for treating you badly or was hoping for some other favours. You cannot expect good treatment from him in the future. He is erratic and cannot be relied upon for support. You need to find a landlord with whom you have a purely transactional relationship, not an emotional one

    You can't move back with your parents because you don't have a good relationship with them (especially your mother) and they want to marry you off against your wishes. Have you considered living in a girl's PG or hostel? That way, you won't be as exposed as you are now and you shall be surrounded by females rather than drunken bachelors.

    The sense I get from your post is that you are vulnerable and scared. Are you financially independent? Do you have a job? I would urge you to concentrate on gaining financial independence so that you can build-up your confidence. Everything shall improve from there.
     
  6. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    Unfortunately @DDream, emotional involvement of the kind described by the OP is unavoidable in India. One can't have a solely transactional relationship with service providers. It is considered too cold and too Western. Having said that, at least in modern India, the emotional relationship has stopped working. We have to turn cold and transactional and that is why my advice to the OP echoes yours.
     
  7. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Umanga. Yeah. I too rented a home in India long back and stayed in hostel/ home stays etc. when I was a student. So I know how tough it is sometimes to deal with them. It is better to treat them as homeowners / acquaintance and nothing else, especially this kind of guy who is a boozer/womanizer . It is not good for an Indian girl like her or her future (well-cultured,decent girl from a reputed conservative family - in her own words). She said that she cannot befriend a person like that. But other details she provided don't agree with this as I wrote in #4 (It is natural for any wife to get suspicious when a tenant show this much interest in her husband).

    OP is in confused state now. These kind of unnecessary emotional dependence wont take one anywhere. Bring only troubles. Better be smart to realize it and move on. Hope OP soon get a clear picture on how to proceed in her life.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
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  8. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    I have gone through the OP's posts and she is a software professional/engineer. Surely that means she is earning enough to rent a decent place? Or maybe not, otherwise she would not be in these dire straits. It's all about money sadly, at the end of the day.

    PS: In India, somebody always wants to be your brother, sister, father, mother, aunt or uncle. That's where the problems begin. I am not saying this approach cannot work. It must have worked for millennia for Indians to be this way even today. But I can't see it working in today's India. If this fellow had just remained a landlord and focussed on maintaining a clean environment for his tenants or if the OP had taken the hint and found a new place to live instead of having her father insist that he (the wealthy landlord) needs to "look-after" his daughter, none of this would have happened. But the OP, like all of us, was desperate. She had been treated badly by other landlords and took whatever scraps of kindness were thrown her way. Who can blame her? The world is a cruel place. It makes beggars of us all. Nonetheless, the OP needs to stand up for herself. She needs to focus on earning money so she can afford a nice place rather than thinking about ways of impressing her landlord with modern Western outfits so that he treats her nicely.
     
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  9. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Since you asked to explain to you in detail and be honest with you about your situation, I am gonna be a lil blunt to suggest you out of this situation. I am not being rude or mean but just plain honest after reading what you have written.

    Sorry to say, but I have never seen anyone this interested/ obsessed with a house owner.

    I don't understand why you care about his moodiness. And I don't understand why you have to prove how modern you are to him. Have never heard of a tenant calling a house owners relative to understand why he is moody.

    Any man or woman will get annoyed when you disturb them at an odd time or constantly with one or another issue, no matter what. He didn't behave wrongly during that night or by apologising later because he felt bad. That's how people behave normally.

    I dono whether you are trying to convince us or yourself, about doing so many things to figure out why he is moody, but this is completely unhealthy.

    I also don't understand how can any respectable girl live in a situation like that. It's better to live in a women's PG than going through all that nonsense of maid drama n having no place to live n roaming around with brokers, calling a man at 10pm for house repair and living next to a room full of drunkard men n house owners sex room.

    Him being helpful to you was because:
    He promised you can stay for years but he asked you to vacate
    His maid dropped your stuff on the road so he picked
    Your dad constantly asked for his help saying you are alone and helpless
    You kept reaching out to him (marriage and family issues) so he helped
    Him inviting to join you to drink or discuss, because you were standing right there and he was heading there. Also in this modern era, some women enjoy the company of drinking or just discussing with no bad intentions.

    If your intentions were right
    - you wouldn't be stalking or bothered about his Facebook and whatsapp.
    - you would have picked up his wife's call by saying bhabhi n explained the situation no matter how angry she was.
    - you wouldn't repeat so many times about how rich or royal he is- how does it even matter. This seems to have impressed you a lot.
    - you wouldn't bother about wearing western clothes for him. I mean does a brother (as u mentioned) bother about how fabulous his sister looks in a western dress, seriously?

    In order to save your respect
    - move out immediately to a "respectable" place
    - never think about him or his mood swings or his money or his womanising or his drinking or him liking western clothed women or stalk what he is posting on fb or check whatsapp about his last login and cut any ties or contacts
    - move your stuff and ask him to bank in your advance money. You don't even have to meet him. Finally send "thank you bhaiya for everything" if you have to.
    - if you think the wife will do more damage, give her a call and explain your bro - sis thing n that she's your bhabhi.

    Don't let this ruin your life. It is normal for his wife to get angry and she might think you are one of the woman he is sleeping along with.

    Think this -
    Have u done this with any other house owner?
    Why is this house owner so different or important?
    And the most important question, Would you be ok, if a woman is behaving exactly like you are doing with your husband in future and avoiding your calls when you try to reach her?

    If you don't like the current proposal that your parents have seen, put your energy their to see another. I feel like this is an unnecessary, unwanted drama you are getting yourself into. Focus on your future.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2017
    shri0218, SGBV, GoneGirl and 4 others like this.
  10. Umanga

    Umanga Gold IL'ite

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    Blunt but had to be said.
     
    sindmani likes this.

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