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Honour Killings

Discussion in 'News & Politics' started by sweetd, Jun 23, 2010.

  1. sweetd

    sweetd New IL'ite

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    I have been hearing about so many honour killings not just in India but also in the West. I wasn't sure where to post this but since it's usually the girls' parents and brothers who do this horrible deed, I decided to post it under Relationships with Parents & Siblings.
    I am new to these forums so moderators, if you feel this belongs to a different section, please move it.

    I am just creating this thread so I can vent. I have heard so many of these stories and I tear up just thinking about them. Things like these make me lose faith in humanity.. How sick minded do you have to be to kill your own daughter for the sake of your so called "family honour"? and How in the world does it restore one's family honour. I do know that usually many people tend to support these.

    I heard about the two couples that were killed in India. Why? because they married out of cast. In Canada, one father killed his daughter when he found out that she had a white boyfriend. Another family killed their teenage daughter because she would not wear the hijab. Another family killed their married daughter who left Canada to go to India to be with the man she loved.. her fault? She married someone really poor.

    What do you think goes on in their sick minds when they decide to pull out a knife and stab their daughter, or strangle her with their own hands.. or worse.. beat them up and electrocute them? How could these honour killings be stopped and how can girls be more careful..? I guess there aren't really proper answers to my questions but I just needed to vent.

    Personally, my own dad threatened me that he'd kill me if I ever decided to marry my boyfriend (Muslim) and I could not believe his words. Although I was very hurt at the moment, I took it lightly (he has never said something like that again so I'd like to believe he was just trying to scare me) because I can never imagine him doing that because he has always treated me with such love and care. So is it possible for parents to be so loving and caring and still do such things for the sake of their honour?

    Feel free to post any comments.
     
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  2. sansmomy

    sansmomy Bronze IL'ite

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    SweetD,
    IMO, killing any living thing is a very extreme act and it can never be justified with whatever reasons...it is even most extreme, strange and sad when one wants to kill / actually kills his/her own beloved ones....

    Talking about these honour killings, there are multiple angles to this...please note that i am not trying to justify the act, but just trying to analyze what must be running thru the mind of such killer before taking this extreme step....ok, so coming back to the point...I guess, the main reason might be 'feeling of failure' and hence trying to 'destroy the so-called-reason or proof of failure'...all parents have high expectations from their kids...the definition of term 'high' is per their notion/beliefs/culture etc...so, when the kid is not behaving per that (in fact doing exactly opposite), they might feel that they have failed in raising the kid...most parents may deal with this feeling and would either accept the kid's behaviour as 'his/her own decision' or try to show their disssatisfaction in some or other way (e.g. cutting off contacts, taunting, disowning etc)...but some extreme people may just go overboard while processing this feeling and may turn on the revenge mode and want to destruct the cause/proof of this faiure - that is their own kid....it sounds really strange, but then killing somebody isnt a sane act....

    another reason might be failure to deal with the social pressure...especially in conservative societies, this pressure is tremendous...and the burden of such pressures may lead to 'punish' in severe way to the so-called-offender (let it be their own child)....

    I think, such parents (or siblings) have never considered that the person in question has their own life and hence right to take decisions (which may not be in accordance to their beliefs/wants/needs)....Nobody has the right to kill anyboy. period.

    ~s.
     
  3. sweetd

    sweetd New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your response. I agree with you completely! I think it has a lot to do with pressure from society.. a lot of parents worry about what other people will say. I really think that people WILL talk if parents show their dissatisfaction openly. However, if the parents support their kids decisions, even if they are marrying someone they don't approve of, other people won't have much to talk about, or at least not for long.

    Going to the extreme just does the opposite. Then the whole world knows (if the truth is revealed). I also know that there are SOME communities who encourage these things and the community expects parents to take an action or they do it themselves. That was the case where a married couple was killed because the community did not approve of their inter-caste marriage. Even though they weren't living in the town at that time, the "panchayat" (spelling?) wasn't done with them.

    If parents' love depends on whether the child is living life according to their rules, then they don't love their child unconditionally.
     
  4. swarnalata.N.S.

    swarnalata.N.S. Platinum IL'ite

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    First of all, they should stop calling it "Honour Killing" . What honour is there by murdering people in cold blood ? The news media should not add glamour to such brutal crimes by giving grand names to it.
     
  5. ShailRaghuvansh

    ShailRaghuvansh Silver IL'ite

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    Hi sweetd,

    That was a nice piece of writing on an issue that is relevant and needs debating upon. In fact, we don't need a debate at all here. Killing is wrong. Period.

    Honor killings is actually dishonor killings, bring shame to the family and the race of humanity that indulges in murder to suffice its so called desire to protect their 'izzat' so to say.

    Good piece.

    Shail
     
  6. shreyashreyas

    shreyashreyas Gold IL'ite

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    Actually we should vent our voice in this issue... Many honour killings, almost one or two in a week now a days, are storming into our ears.... I hope i am right in saying this.

    Honour killings... does the name suggest correctly.... are they regaining their honour by these killings or disgracing humanity by doing this. The girl never bought world-wide shame when she loved the other caste person. but by killing the family itself has brought such disgrace to the community. Before the killing we never knew about such incidences, after the killings every one know about it....

    so, if a question arises that is these killings necessary... the answer is a big NO.
     
  7. Sudhakaranam

    Sudhakaranam New IL'ite

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    From
    Sudha-rasa.
    Sweetd has opened up the most relavant topic currently being discussed in public now a days. The government is also in a fix and is clueless as to how to deal with this problem which is assuming alarming proportions. Thinking from the point of view of a social scientist, I feel that the present day so called religious leaders/ swamys/ gurus / preachers-whatever name you call them- of the religion or more particularly the caste to which such people belong are responsible for such attrocities being commited on own offsprings/siblings/community members.

    To some extent I agree with Sasmomy that it is the fear of transagressing the tenets of the religion/ caste and consequent fear of being outcast from the religion that makes people resort to such drastic, barbaric practices. An interesting fact is that this practice is more rampant in North India and we have not heard much about such practices in South India.
    Coming to religious Swamys and Gurus, it is very partinent that they should be actually playing the role of Reformers of Society than being mere dictators issuing fatwas to the members to fall in line and threatening them with dire consequences, wghich is in fact the sad state of afairs today.
    We have fortunately examples of many such religious heads who were ardent reformers of society in our own country in the past. Even to day we have swamijies of Murugharejendra mutt, Shivabalayogi mutt, Pejawarmutt to name a few that I know of who are engaging themselves relentlessly in social reformation.

    Besides religious heads, I feel the onus is also on the government of the day to act firmly and enforce rule of law and root out such barbaric practices once and for all and protect citizens with progressive thinking. It is very partinent that all political parties irrespective of their respectuive ideologies and narrow vote bank interests come together and put in their acts together before the situation goes out of everyone's control.
     

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