Hiring an immoral woman: moral dilemma

helpmeangel · Jun 22, 2014

People,

First off, am not sure where this thread belongs..hence posted in this section.. Mods, please feel free to move it to another section if it deems fit there.

I am in a moral dilemma right now. I got a help for my twins who comes for massaging and bathing them..she also does odd jobs around the house..

She has no husband and has two small kids to look after, and she is illiterate as well. But she is very clean and does her job efficiently..

Recently I found out that she is being taken care of, by another man who pays her rent and upkeep for herself and her kids.

Also, the grapevine says she is seeing other men as well, for money..

Now, it's been a week since she is coming to my home..am not so sure now, if I should continue to employ her at my place..

Should a person's personal life interfere in us,making judgement? I feel bad to even think of terminating her,after all she has two small kids going to the nursery. Yet, on the other hand, my precious babies are being handled by a lady who is known for her illicit activities, however good she may be at her day work.

Please help me out..what should I do in this situation?

P.S. I am of the opinion to drop her and find another person. But am not sure if I am ethically right or not.

RedRuby · Jun 22, 2014

I would generally say that if you feel uncomfortable with a person whom gets so close to your children yu should stop the employment, partly because your twins will realise further or later that you are uncomfortable, second i think a mother needs 100% trust in a persons character if that person is bathing and massaging her children.
As she is working in your home -means she is inside your private space it is a different situation then if you would employ her in an office, where i would say her private life is totally upto her and non of the business of her boss.
Are you relly sure about what you have told about her? I would not ask her actually because im not aware of the legal consequences if she blames you later of false accusations.
Im not sure in which sort of relationship she is with the man who takes financialy care of her, maybe he is a distant relative or a close friend of the family and he is genuinly just caring about her wellbeing - nothing dirty behind it. If she sees other men for money the case is differen, IF that is really true.
I appreciate you are thinking about the morality of the decission and wether its ethically right to let her go but if you think she might affect your children or the reputation of your family then do it. If you think it might be just a rumour and someone tries to harm her dont.

rachaputi · Jun 22, 2014

Are you sure about her works??

How about her behavior?? is she behaving awkwardly??

I dont know that how much you sure about her relations.. When its not disturbing your home atmosphere it doesn't harm your personal life. Might her fate pushed into those type of works.

Other side of the coin..

While judging a person, should consider positive and negative both. May one unfortunate day she will get bad ideas. It can affect your kids or theft etc..

But you are the best person to judge her by considering both sides. Is she really dont get any other work if you lay off her and she feels low if you done it??

Kids security is most important upon all this. Think about positive and negative both sides, if there are possibilities for the bad, lay off..

Prevention is better than cure.

satchitananda · Jun 22, 2014

How reliable are the sources from whom you have got this information? I would suggest you just keep a watch on her. If she just comes, does her work and leaves, that's fine. Of course you should always be there yourself whenever she comes to the house. If that is the case, I would think there is no reason for her continuing her work. However, if you are going out to work, then better you think twice.

helpmeangel · Jun 22, 2014

RedRuby,

Yes, I am positive of her immorality. Reasons are, she stays close by and we know some of the neighbors there..we even know her landlord..also her previous employer who stays nearby came to our place and cautioned us against hiring her. Some of my neighbors have seen her with random guys on vehicles too..mine is a pretty conservative neighborhood and they telling these stories, only adds authenticity to it..

Yes, am sure that she is in a relationship with the younger guy, their age difference amounting to 15 years in the least..Proof of the relationship is, she herself has told the story to her landlord..she pleaded and got to rent the place..after seeing her young children being made to stand outside or sent on small errands when the "uncle" is in the house, they made her to shift the house..she moved a couple houses away..

helpmeangel · Jun 22, 2014

Rachaputi,

About being sure, please see my above response to RedRuby.

About her behavior, she tends to cry a lot..and demands money,materials from each individual in my house..I tend to overlook it since I believed her stories. Maybe this is a red flag in itself.

You are totally right about she getting bad ideas some day. This is exactly what am afraid of. What if she harms my kids if she was in a bad mood? Reason being, she hurts her kids a lot and even lets her "john" hurt them and has no remorse. While she has no moral sense for her kids, she pretends to love mine.

If I am to let her go, I should do it gently without hurting her ego, on other pretense.

heron · Jun 22, 2014

If you wrent been informed, you would have continued. Now that you know, its your take. If you feel that nobody else might be as good, may be keep her ignoring her background.If you feel uncomfortable your kids being with her all the time, then may be let her go.

helpmeangel · Jun 22, 2014

Satchi,

Please see my responses to RedRuby and Rachaputi. The sources are reliable and there is no iota of doubt there.

She does come, do her work and goes. But I must admit, I am not too keen to have her around the men in my house on top of my worries over her touching my babies.

God, I do sound horrible, don't I?

helpmeangel · Jun 22, 2014

Heron,

I would keep her if I didn't know her story. But now that I know, am losing sleep over it. And yes, I do feel uncomfortable, as my kids are the most precious things in the world for me.

MrsBV · Jun 22, 2014

HMA,

if she is good at her work then its not an issue what she does in her personal time? however, the point is that you have lost complete trust in her and I am sure you would like your kids to be taken care of by someone you trust. Instead of going through so much of inner turmoil i believe you should let her go and hire someone else. its for your own peace of mind and you will not be a horrible person because you thought of the safety of your own kids first.