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Highway Patrol Stories

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chatkara_tasty, Apr 1, 2007.

  1. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative
    excuses that
    drivers give for speeding. Here are some of the officers' favorites.
    (By the
    way, none of them worked!)

    * A man told the officer he was rushing to the hospital because had
    been stung
    by a bee, and was allergic. "There's the bee right there," he said,
    pointing to
    his dashboard. The officer looked. The bee was not only dead, but in a
    advanced
    state of decomposition.

    * A man was doing 70 mph on the shoulder of I-95, avoiding the
    bumper-to-bumper
    traffic. After a third of a mile, he was stopped by an officer. He
    jumped out of
    the car, brushing off his pants, and told the cop he had dropped a
    cigarette on
    his lap. "I was looking for a place to park," he explained.

    * A speeder said that he and his wife were trying to have a baby. "My
    wife is
    ovulating," he told the officer. "I have to get home right now."

    * An officer stopped a man doing 80 mph. When he asked the driver
    whether he had
    seen the speed-limit signs, the man responded, "I went by them so fast
    I
    probably missed them."

    * A man going south on I-95 was stopped near Washington Avenue doing 79
    mph. "My
    engine misses, and I'm trying to clean out the carburetor," he told the
    officer.
    For good measure, he added, "If I don't go this fast, my car won't go
    at all."

    * "I'm due in traffic court," one speeder said. "If I'm late they're
    going to
    enforce the bench warrant."

    * When an officer told a speeder that the speed limit on the Schuylkill
    Expressway was 50 mph, the driver responded, "Officer, where have you
    been? It's
    65 now."

    * One speeder said simply, "I'm trying to beat my wife home. Don't
    ask."

    * An elderly person was stopped after doing 73 mph. When told he was
    getting a
    ticket, he asked the officer, "Is there a senior citizen's discount?"
     
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