HI Il, May be most of ladies facing same problem. Being a kind is very difficult some times. myself i am a hardcore feminist but trying to act like semi-traditional wife in front of husband. ofcourse i am confusing you. i had 2 male persons closely to my life those are a male friend(absolutely friend only) and my husband. actually i want to express my feelings...want share opinions...want to chat/bat about some non sense about any of topic. mean yelling or laughing from soul or crying or expressing any of my emotion freely with other person directly. but all these things seriously i want to do with my husband, but due to mismatch between his thought process and my thought process, nothing is happening. we are absolutely behaving with each other like professional business partners who have ethics, sexual need from each other. we both are sharing kids needs, house management needs and financial discussions. thats it. i feel some border line thickens in between us may be because of generation gap(he is 6 yr elder and expected wife who will fallow him bluntly instead of putting her own brain) and always he will not agree with me. i am selfish bit. i prefer to use my salary initially for my needs, then to kids, then to next family like my parents and husband. i like to use 5% for social services. i preferred to provide work options & guidance to persons who are in need instead of donating directly. so that they can solve their future problems. my husband is actually earning more than me, but he likes to donate lump sum to one of his uncle's old age foundation. apart from that he asks me to save money in case of maids, and grocessory purchases so on...like lower middle class persons. specially he is behaving like a miser after my second kid but he is enjoying his comforts. so pressuring me to reduce maids or manage kitchen with less budget. he brought bunch of toys for my son. but he never spent 10% his first kid spending on my daughter. he is hard worker, he is spending 95% of time for earning and remaining with kids(3%) cum his friends(2%). i think my share is 1% all over week. at same time he is ruining my wishes like i want to spend with him, want to share my feelings, want to have dinner together peacefully so on...cinematic dreams all are but not require a penny, only require time. financially he has ability to take me to foreign trips, but he didnt in last 9 yrs. he never smiles with me when we are together from heart. at same time he is so much intrested to chat with his friends when i am beside. he is very intrested to watch TV comedy shows to have big laughs, not even cares my presence or reaction. He will come from office early to watch that shows. but at least once in a month he will not come to spend with me. Sex is like weekly once. that too he reduced foreplay lot after my 2nd delivery. he brought vaginal gel after my oppose to do sex. i said i am getting pain. instead of increasing foreplay he is saying he dont have time...he is getting sleep...kids will get disturbed if we do more than 5 minutes...so on...so when he gets mood, just he do as per his wish and will apply gel, then get his work done. i am really embrassing myself now why i shouldn't shout on him....but that leads to his passive agreessive nature and silent treatment which worse our relation even more. so apart from, because no one is there to share all over my feelings i started to share with my male friend. my male friend is bachelor still, and he is loving some other girl(one side love). but he listens me with patience. he also shares his stories and emotions with me. but every time when ever i am sharing with my friend, my soul is dreaming it will be very nice if my husband listens like him, it will be very nice if my husband behaves with me like my friend instead of professional partner. myself i am moving away from my husband more day by day. i have interest on him. he is over kind then me. he do his duties and responsibilities very well. he is matured and do lot of savings & safety factors to me, kids future if some thing happens to him. but i am hating his communication via whatsapp, nit even phone call, all time busy and prefer to spend with some thing else even i am available. no dedicated time for me in his schedule. if some thing very important that he want to tell, he will inform in 2/3 sentences. not even explained whats before and after. again i am trying get back my dream guy in my dreams intensionally.