Hidden Spy Camera ?

Yes in US - different states have different laws about violating someone's privacy. Can become a legal issue when spying techniques employed.

 

OP,
People will not believe you if you tell about husband. It is possible that husband is very charming outside and badly behaved at home.
There are husbands who gaslight and who can try to suffocate you. It is not unheard of.

There are many spy stuff on amazon, check for yourself. Try something that you can say was for a possible nanny. But which will still hide from your husband. It is hard to hide from your husband and he might become more violent openly or become more sinister in his plans- both you do not want.

Your children are small. You should just aim to survive for next years. Do not fight/ confront your husband. Let him do all 'public charming', you try that he does not physically hurt you. He is already hurting you emotionally- just try to survive. I would say- do not try to collect the pictures or evidence or anything- when you are ready in few years- just get an amicable divorce. No one believes the divorcee about how bad the marriage was. It is best to stay out of blaming or anything and maintain the grace.

You should plan your safe future with your children. Currently, if he says that children watching too much TV- say I am sorry- be in survival mode. When covid ends- take a break and go to India. Change of place and pace. If both children get sick, it is very hard for you. When the preschools open in your state- even in summer- send your children for half day- every day.

When he comes to quarrel- just say I am sorry- stop fighting- it is draining you. I will suggest that in few years time, you leave this marriage- till then only survive. If he offers money, again say "I am sorry" and take the money and put it in your individual account. Seems like you are a feisty woman, you reply here when someone doubts your posts- never have you waivered. This kind of woman- can be eye sore in some husbands eyes. For next few years- learn to not be feisty, just "act" submissive and "weak" and say "I am sorry" to your husband at every point. Survive is the key word for next few years

 

First of all you have to check whether invading the privacy is legal or not. If not, then your husband can file case against you.

There are so many options available in Amazon or other sites on gps tracking devices, sound recorders, cameras, spy ware , keyloggers etc to install in mobile or computer. Do you suspect EMA?

But if you have reached a level to monitor your husband and dont trust him, then this relationship is very toxic and your are very negative for whatever reasons. If you dont want to continue in this marriage, then plan exit in a smarter way.

But if you want to continue, you need to introspect what kind of your behavior is driving your husband away and correct it. I think going back to work may also help. Fighting and arguing with the aim to win will not help. Sometimes loosing to win is the smarter way depending on the situation. Communicating with your husband is very important. Now your hands are full with kids and home . Ask your husband to share duties. If you want to survive, go on a selective silent mode and enjoy your life with kids. Dont spoil your present with the past that's already done or future that's going happen. Live at the moment.

Do you love or respect your husband? Look like you have lot of resentment towards him.
If your husband physically attack you, tell him you will call 911. In that case, it's not safe to live with him.

 

What about the thing called trust in married life? If my husband tried to suffocate me I wouldn’t stay in that house any longer. But if it’s my feeling and no confirmation and I want to install a spy cam, I am surely not trusting my husband and I would go back to the same resolution as the first-leave the house and try to talk or use a mediator on the trust issues or try marriage counseling. Now if the husband didn’t do anything and he found the camera, the trust is broken, he probably would want to talk, think things over, because things have reached a point where a spy cam is needed in a 10 year marriage to trust the other person. In all these scenarios I can see how it leads to separation until issues are resolved. Instead of focusing on spy cam find what the real problem is and op should try to resolve it. There is nothing wrong in accepting help when you need it.
I disagree with op on how people are getting ocd about current covid situation. Not all families are over the edge because of this COVID-19. Some find more enjoyable time Available for family. We actually like it!

 

I have a 8 year , he runs around whole day and still sleeps at 11. i work and so does my spouse. my spouse makes him sleep every night. some nights he scolds him , i take over those night, considering his patience is over.

do you even realize how bad your situation is , just because the child is sleeping at 11 does not mean your spouse puts a pillow on your face and tries to kill.

what is your spouse doing after 6 pm to help kids. it is summer time, my apartment, everyone is walking running. he can take the kids to play.

and day time. since you are home, you can take them out for walk. i do not know details about to talk more.

also i see you are in US for a long time. again do you realize how strong US laws are and that they are PRO women. a single 911 call about such a situation will ruin your spouse life. if the charges are file. it will not take from record.

you are blaming people who took their time to advise you.

what good a spy camera, will do. ok you record it then what. black mail him till he dies.

also your SPOUSE is an idiot. Sorry if this hurts . you both are couple. if you have financial issues, there is nothing wrong in him telling you to join work. what is the point , indirect DRAMA. ofcourse he should be then helping a lot in home.

i am not really sure what to advise you, i kinda agree with some ILs who said you need therapy.

 

Hi,

Where do u reside ? With parents / in laws ?
Have you discussed this issue with ur parents or siblings or any trusted friends ?
Are you working from home or stay at home mom ?

During this lockdown period, without going out much, working from home, not much activities to do outside , kids all time running around, noisy almost all time throughout the day, getting difficult to stick to a correct routine schedule like earlier when there was office and schools opened - everyone is feeling down or confused at some moments in a day or several days . But it is sure that this time will pass through.

I would prefer you relax and take some me time and be cool.
Talk to ur husband openly about your concerns - when he is also in a relaxed mood.
U both get some time to be together..
I dont suggest u the option of spying his phone or email !!! If he comes to know about that , its finished !!!!

Its easy to jump to a conclusion when we are tired and get into a fight !!!
Think about the kids too ... Think about the future...
Talk openly and sort out the issues soon...

Stay safe...
Stay positive...

 

Hi,

U r on a dependent visa with EAD ?
I dont get what is the real issue ???? - Is it the night sleep time of kids the main problem or is it that U r not earning money or something else ??
Have u noticed anything Much different or any issues by which ur hubby suddenly started acting odd ???
Is he behaving the same way since marriage or just started recently ?

Y do u want to tap his calls - to check whom he is speaking to ?? U dont believe that he was actually speaking to his dad r both parents on that day ??
I dont think its legal to do so or a really good approach for a wife !

Dont get scared on his behaviour, unless he opens up and discuss with you regarding what is the issue he has in his mind, how will it get resolved ?
If he is ready to have a talk and discuss matters with u, listen with a peaceful mind and dont get to a quarrel ...

Dont panic , if its Really getting on Top , Last step is call 911 - if he gets wild and try to physically attack u..

Stay safe
Stay positive