Hi Guys..please Respond.

Anika
Nothing is wrong with you. Being a loner is fine. Feeling unhappy about it, .... not so much. Perhaps you have not found people who are on your wavelength. Now if they are also loners... you see the problem.

Making friends takes work and time. Social butterflies are wired differently than ladybugs. Both are essential in the habitat. If you are a ladybug, its unlikely you can transform into a butterfly, or that you will even like that.
Many people form friendships at work, or school, or temple/church etc, or where they volunteer. In America, volunteering opportunities are easier to come by- at your kid's school, at temple and at organizations like botanical gardens, hospitals, libraries, to name a few.

I would suggest volunteering.. you will have a sense of fulfilment, find some people to associate with, have some opportunities to develop social habits and one might say, improved friendship skills.
Long lasting friendships are about making the time and effort consistently with people you can resonate with. but effort is essential. and consistency. Its easier when you are young, gets harder with age.

You are certainly not the only person in america without a social throng of friends. Relax and smile.
Good luck.. Have a good chuckle at yourself and do some yoga . You will feel better.

 

@anika987,

It is painful to see how you are evaluating yourself based on how others treat you. You need to seggregate people into categories such as a) one who you have control over meaning driven purely by mutual love, b) one who is considered influencers as you aim to make changes in your lifestyle using them as benchmark in your mind, and c) one who consider as a concerning friendships/relationships. You have to use weightage based on which category they belong. Needless to say, category a is a top priority relationship while category b is something you should look to improve and category c is unimportant.

Looking from your perspective, you need to determine whether you are proactive or reactive individual. Reactive people focus more on home, work, read material of their choice and buy something that they think is essential or spend time where it is essential with no influence from outside. That is in green zone where as the news, economy, political view, what others think of you, television time, etc. are in category of choice and the reactive people only use them as they need. Proactive people focus their attention on their attitude, enthusiasm, skills, self-improvement, work, business, travel, read, write, speak, and leadership as one large green category and leave very little that is in red category that they have identified as not conductive.

You also may consider having boundaries for people at each level of inner to outer circle as a) You (the priority), b) Family (another priority), c) friendship, d) acquitances, e) community helpers, and f) strangers. The friends will enjoy certain freedom to interact but not beyond certain boundaries that would affect your self-esteem. You have to remember that open communication, trust & support, boundaries, fairness, and freedom are the various level of a graph to climb. Freedom is enjoyed only when all of these combinations work well. In boundaries, I will categorize them as physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, psychological boundaries and intellectual boundaries. Every boundary is determined by red, yellow, and green and I give below the chart how to use them.

Physical Boundaries - comfortable - intolerable - abusive
Emotional Boundaries - convenient - questionable - violative
Pyschological Boundaries - Dignifying - Dominant - Fearful
Intellctual Boundaries - Knowledgeable - Violative - Conflicting

In setting boundaries, you have to remember you are the priority in every relationship. It is not selfish to look after your self-esteem as it is essential for a life to exist and thrive. If you are treated like a furniture by anyone, it is best if you stay away from him/her. What defines you is how you feel about you and not what others think of you. By allowing others to define you, you are destroying the foundation of self-esteem. Hopefully, the above information helps.

 

There are many women who proudly identify as homebodies, and I’m one of them. I genuinely enjoy my own company, feel at peace staying home 24/7, and live life on my own terms. To me, that’s true happiness and contentment.

However, the life path I’ve chosen naturally involves public engagement and frequent interaction with others. Because of this, I do build friendships and acquaintances where needed for support and comfort, and I don’t mind it. I value those connections too.

That said, your recent post and others you've shared with a similar tone suggest that you're not truly a homebody. It doesn't seem like you find joy in solitude or peace in being at home. Rather, it feels like you're coping with isolation, possibly because of life circumstances, unresolved childhood experiences, or aspects of your personality. Whatever the reason, it seems more like you're adapting to being alone, not embracing it.

A true homebody wouldn’t feel a sense of lack or sadness watching Instagram reels of women gathering and socializing. You wouldn’t feel guilty or unsettled for being alone, because for a homebody solitude is not loneliness, it’s a lifestyle choice.

Introversion and extroversion are natural traits, neither of which are problems. The challenge arises when there's a disconnect between what your soul longs for and what your circumstances or fears allow you to do. If I am right in my analysis, your heart deeply desires vibrant friendships and meaningful social experiences, but fear, sensitivity, past hurts, or communication struggles are keeping you from reaching out or maintaining those bonds. That internal conflict between desire and restraint is where the discomfort lies.

It’s like this: if you’ve chosen to be vegetarian from a place of conviction, a KFC ad on Instagram wouldn’t bother you. But if you’re only avoiding meat because you’ve been forced to by health, faith, culture or social pressure, then every image of a juicy burger could stir discomfort or doubt.

The same principle applies here. It’s not about being a homebody or a social butterfly. It’s about being true to yourself, understanding your needs, and aligning your life with your truth.