hi, this story is written by a college girl, i got it from a blog site. do read and see.......... HER Tring Tring rang the alarm. She woke slowly and put her hand exactly on the alarm clock. It stopped its cry for attention. The time read 5.30. The sun was still in his slumber. She looked at the other side of the bed. She had always wondered how that loud ringing of the alarm never woke him. He looked so handsome and so young. She envied that about him suddenly. He didn’t look the 38 years that he was. She sometimes hated him for that. She smiled. The sheet that half wrapped him was adjusted by her. She woke up and walked to her bathroom. This was her everyday routine. Now she had about 40 minutes with the whole house to her and her alone. She had a quick shower, made coffee, boiled the milk and started on breakfast and lunch. At 6.15 she went to her kid’s room and woke them. Twins, a girl and a boy. Just like she used to dream when she was 14. As she stepped into their room each day and saw their wonderful little faces she felt true joy for a minute. She often remembered the day they were born, 18th September. The happiest day in her life, the day when she felt the most pain she has ever felt, she screamed her throat sore; she had needed two units of blood. The happiest day in her life. It was the only few seconds when she thought her life to be worth. The kid’s school bus came at 7.00 to pick them up. She got their lunch and snacks ready and packed. Helped them with getting all their stuff together. Helped with any last minute, left over homework or assignment. She pasted the last picture in the scrap book, ensured her girl had the flowers she was supposed to take to class, and a million other little things. He was always ready by 6.55 to take them down to the bus-stop. She stood in the balcony and waved them bye. And there she stood every morning for five to ten minutes looking at the world go by. Their 7th floor flat overlooked a busy road. And she loved the view. Yes. She loved the fact that she could here the traffic during the day and the people. Well, she did have to spend more time dusting but she thought it was worth all the noise that kept her company during the day and made her feel alone, all at the same time. But mornings gave her only the odd ten minutes on her balcony. She had to get to the kitchen and make breakfast and his lunch. He left for work by 8.30 always after a kiss from her. Then it was just her, just like the first forty minute of her day, for the rest of the day too she had her whole house to her and her alone. She almost always had something to do. Some corner to clean. Some bill to pay. Some letter to reply. Of-course almost all this she did in the confines of her house and through the internet. She had her lunch alone. That was what she disliked the most, it further saddened her otherwise sad and lost soul. Often she wondered what if she had chosen differently. What if she had taken up the job offer that came her way after their engagement? Things would have been different. Maybe she wouldn’t have ended up feeling all this. Maybe she would have been happy. But this was so perfect or at least was supposed to be. She had a husband and theirs was a happy marriage. Also theirs was a marriage where his earnings were enough to keep them all happy and a little posh. Her so called friends thought that was great. She did have two wonderful kids who were so playful and so naughty and so irritating. Well, she is a mother and mothers don’t get irritated. So to get over her irritation and boredom she sometimes took a little help from liquor. She did not need it regularly. Just a couple of glasses a day. Sometime back, she had discovered that she could not sleep. Her neighbour had given her a chemist’s number and he had given her a prescription sleeping pill on his own prescription. What harm can a sleeping pill do to you? So she started taking them first one, then two, three. Now, every night she took 3 or 4 to sleep. Surprisingly enough ,or maybe not, the man who shared her bed almost every night of the four months since she started taking them never noticed or rather questioned. But why should he? Like everyone else he too thought they had a perfect life. He too thought she was just wonderful and perfect and in love with the life and the love that he was giving her. That morning had passed like usual. It was the Monday after the weekend. Weekends depressed her, internally. She felt stifled by the people in the house though it was only her husband and her kids. She had started a love-hate affair with loneliness. And the weekends and the people in it kept her away from her this love. It was also difficult for her to have her drink without her husbands notice. It was so difficult to keep herself from shouting at her children. That morning her son had held her hand and said mom I love you. He had made love to her last night. And now she stood on her balcony all drained out and all alone. The pretences were eating her .She went to her trusted PC and opened a word document .In simple words she wrote that she felt too tired to live anymore. She wrote about her struggle with them pills and the drinks. She said she was ending herself ,the perfect life she had because it was killing her. A print –out was taken in a crisp white A4 sheet of paper. She deleted the document saved in her extra’s folder. As she took out the bottle of the sleeping pills, she suddenly remembered her son had asked her to finish a card he was making for one of his friends. She went to their room and finished the card. As she sat there tying the ribbon bow on the card tears fell from her eyes. She held the card away from her lest it should get wet. As the alarm rang on her cell reminding her to take the clothes out of the dryer, she went to her room. Saw the brown bottle and the white pills that filled them she screwed the cap back on. She took out the note she had wrote in her hands and re-read it. She laughed. She walked to the mahogany paneled cupboard and opened her small locker. She took the blue folder and placed the sheet in it. The folder had other such sheets with letters written on similar lines on different dates. Then she went to remove the clothes from the dryer.