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Help With Developing Gratitude And Snapping Out Low Moods

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ThoughtsParv, Feb 18, 2019.

  1. ThoughtsParv

    ThoughtsParv Senior IL'ite

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    I have been feeling very low recently. Just taking up this space to express thoughts and get ideas to snap out of it.
    Married with two kids. Working. With an infant and preschooler , life is busy. I feel always tired and days are flying. Older one is having trouble with loss of attention and acting out. Younger one is not sleeping well yet. Husband is good. Takes care of his needs and helps whenever he can.
    On paper a beautiful life but I am Overwhelmed by a feeling of is this all.

    When young parents cherish and adore us, we never have doubts about whether we are loved. As we reach a milestone anniversary instead of celebrating I feel a deep sadness, that maybe I will never feel truly loved by my spouse.

    Husband is happy go lucky, social and believes in enjoying moments to the fullest. The one thing he wants from me is to be cheerful. I don’t feel happy. There is so much to do, so many things to plan for and keep on track and I am not good at it. I am the one keeping it all together and I feel I am failing at work, failing at parenting and failing at marriage.
    I have had a sensitive nature since childhood and feel husband does not have the time or empathy to get me emotionally.
    He does not get why I feel overwhelmed by household management or sad if I forget things/loss control of tasks.
    He does not get why I feel sad due to some in-law stuff and does not defend me when I am made fun of.
    I would like to spend some time after the kids go to sleep but he would rather read/browse to relax.
    We don’t have a great sex life, it Was always overshadowed by infertility and self doubt and now even after children I just feel unattractive.
    I have tried at various points to have relationship discussions (love languages, date nights etc. ) but he is disinterested. He feels I am overthinking and I should acknowledge how lucky I am and choose happiness.
    Can one do that? Not succeeding yet, what can I do?
    I am planning to incorporate some exercise in my life. Start my day with some suryanamaskars.
     
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  2. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    Happiness is a state of mind. Only u can give it to yourself. DH or kids are secondary. Love yourself

    Have a rule that after 8 pm no electronics allowed.

    Delegate some tasks to DH, dont struggle to be super woman. Accept u need help and ask

    If sex romance love is lacking then communication is key. Men are not supersmart in emotion dept
     
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  3. Leomax

    Leomax New IL'ite

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    Beauty lies with the behold!just be proud that ur a strong women and a better mom!not all women can achieve this feat!Try focusing ur mind in things which appeals you the most!Not all men ve a tendendancy to appreciate or perceive what their better half longs for or fulfill their wishes!..As of now ur children are ur greatest assets!Not every marriage is like bed of roses...if u need the rose u will ve a chance to inflict the pain of thorn as well!...If u cant be loved then better love what u can...thatz d best and most lovely one u can do to ur children and hubby!And dunt get pessimistic abt ur marriage or tasks or anything...Things happen....!Its doesnt matter what happens to u..what does is how u deal with it...Hope u ve a good hearted souls that can share ur sorrows....!They m8 help u...And meditation a few mins a day may alleviate the pain ur mind goes through☺️And always remember ur not jzt alone..!ur jzt among many who are worse than u☺️Hope ur life gets changed as u wish in due course of time...though not soon..but mayb eventually!
     

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