Help my brother

Padma,

Sorry to hear about your parents.

In this context,I understand that your brother has his responsibilities towards them and the option of living separately is ruled out.

Your brother and your family should have given these factors the highest priority when looking for a bride.

From your description, your SIL seems the total opposite. She is like the pampered daddy's girl who is still not mature enough to takeup responsibilities of a wife.

For things to go in harmony, it is very important that your SIL should be broadminded enough to take the additional responsibilities. It is not an easy thing - the girl should be mature and open minded to make comprmises. To feel that way, she needs to get a feel that it is "my family" .You and your parents should stop interefering in their life and give them some privacy. Just the two of them should spend quality time together - like a vacation or a movie etc.

Your brother needs to make her feel important and a part of the family. She should be included in all important decisions taken . Again, instead of just ruling her out as a "immature , pampered girl who is not capable of doing anything by her own", try to give her some responsibilities and be patient with her. For eg: Start giving her some small responsibilities like - "Prepare the shopping list for buying groceries every week, tally the expenses and maintain an excel sheet for every week's grocery bills etc.

 

Hi Padma,

I think ur brother should not leave ur parents what so ever, every child has his her responsiblities to take care of their parents so they should do the needfull in due respect. If u r looking for professional help there is a site u could visit www.legalserviceindia.com hope with legal suggestions they guide to sovle ur brothers problems.

 

Hi Padma,

as the matter is allready in the court , you people need to fight legally, and get your brother divorce, court will decide what is good, as your brother is in Chennai he can file case in chennai it self , tell him to take advise of reputed advocate in this regard. You need to act immedialtly as limitation start running .


Regards,
GirijaRamesh

 

hai,
why we all saying the girl is immature and everything wrong done by girl, first listen one thing she is telling her advantages not her brother and family disadvantages,second thing one girl want to live with husband means the problem in thier family,we know that what the girl done we dont about other pupils done,if we know that each and everything means who done wrong we can advice, one poverb in tamil kannal paarpathum poi,kaadhal kaetpaduthum poi,theeravisaripathae mei,so pls dont separate them pls try to live both of them alone ,so interfere in thier life for both the parents
if any wrong in my answer pls forgive me

 

Dear Padma,
Sad to listen to what happened to your bro’s life.
What I personally feel is as husband and wife, your bro’ and SIL should decide if they are willing/eager to lead a life together. Being married for 5yrs, I doubt if there is any intimacy between the couple. Wife being away for couple of months often just to be with her parents, husband not at all concerned about such happenings until it reached to this extend.
Now, from what you’ve explained we can make out the husband’s side…but how are we IL ites to know what is in the gal’s mind? So why not try counseling (only if both are interested in living together leaving back all ego) – not involving family members but some professional counselor. From all the explanations given, I don’t sense that kind of understanding between husband and wife and hence all the blame can’t go with your SIL.
Hope and pray for things to turn out for the good for both the families.

 

counselling seems to be a good idea even for me