Help me friends to make a decision that will benefit me in longrun

lyfsbeautiful · Aug 23, 2015

Hi friends,

I am working in a software company abroad and I am from India.
I have had some problems at work with this one guy who spoke to me inappropriately asking me have sex with him etc.
He was my friend when I first joined the company, later on I came to know his intention.
After I came to know his intention I stayed away from him but whenever I see him I am extremely nervous.
And then I got married to my dear husband in November last year.
This office guy is now purposely showing off that he goes out with another girl in the office.
They both will be acting like extremely romantic in office.
I try to neglect all this and focus on my work , although because I am nervous on seeing him (now that lady as well, as she is my manager) I am feeling afraid to go to work or in other words feeling annoyed and lack of motivation.

Sometime I overthink and have sleepless nights.

I decided to look for another job but the problem is my current job is only 3 min away from my home and everyone is asking me to stay as it would be beneficial if I get pregnant.

If I get any new job , I will have to travel for 30 min up and down.

Friends what would you suggest me to do ?

Will my fear for this guy make any effect to the baby if I am pregnant ?

Sometimes if I am upset it affects my relationship with my husband.

I want to be happy with my husband and have an happy family , that is all I desire.

Anvitha · Sep 1, 2015

I believe 30 min is not a big distance and you can happily shift to new office to avoid the mental stress in your current place.

If you are strong enough to continue in the current one start practising to ignore them.

Either way from my view you are the one who has to make up your mind to get out of this stress.

vaidehi71 · Sep 1, 2015

Ignore him and never show your emotions. Be brave, you are married and you have dh by your side. Open up to your dh and he might be able to give advice, provided your relationship with him is good. My attitude is to be open with dh but I would not suggest if you haven't built your relationship yet.
If still worried, find another job.

swt.charu · Sep 1, 2015

Well.. looks like this wierdo has moved on life and you are still holding on to some bitter memories...reminds me of a Buddha story on similar lines..

you cannot destroy a castle fearing a rat..

Your decision to change the job should not definitely be the one you have mentioned.. if you are otherwise happy with you current job.

why should you get nervous when you see him .. or him with her..?? its their lives and they will deal with it..

as a principle I do not have any emotional bonding with anyone at work place nor do I carry any sort of emotional luggage..

what exactly is your "fear"?? if you can elaborate.. i can share some personal experience..