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help me clear my mind

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by priyanka12345, Jul 17, 2014.

  1. seekingbless

    seekingbless Platinum IL'ite

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    and they both become samandhis? like brother and sister? nice idea though. :clap
     
  2. anukarsha

    anukarsha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Priyanka

    I am glad that all those who have responded to this thread, have given you a real piece of advice.

    First of all, try to change your thought cycle. Keep yourself occupied in constructive things. Everyone has to work toward making any marriage work for him or her. Real life challenges are very different that daydreams!

    Try to introspect. The solution always lies within. Talk to yourself, ask yourself why has your DH asked your mom not to come home? Some event that disturbed him, you or anyone in the family? If you are trying to control him, have unhealthy expectations from him? Search. The answers will reveal in times to come.

    In the mean time, do plan to spend some quality time with your DH. Feel good about yourself, and be happy.
     
  3. rmuramka

    rmuramka Gold IL'ite

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    I feel....
    Had you met any other person..at this point of time, who in general shares your thoughts and lends you a ear, it would have rekindled something within you. The reason being your failing marriage.
    I think..you should first work on your relation with your husband. Even if there is a 0.1% chance to work it out...atleast for the sake of your son, do that. Its now the time to put your interests aside (for a while atleast) and think of you son's future.
    If you think , its not going to work out, think whats good for your kid's future. Compromising and staying in this unhappy relationship, or walking out of it and giving him a good quality life.

    After all this is sorted out, probably then you might want to think of finding a good, eligible life partner for yourself (who inturn would be a good future for your kid as well). And preferably not someone who is in a happy marriage and with kids.

    Just my thoughts.....hope nothing offends you or lets you down in anyway.!

    Have a good life ahead!!
     
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  4. priyanka12345

    priyanka12345 Silver IL'ite

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    Yes, I have already decided to live and compromise with my husband for the sake of my son. . I have accepted that and hence am compromising with his mood swings,anger and ILs visits.
    I dont want to spoil the life of my ex boyfirned and i am sure he wont do it either.
    I am going to stop my thoughts when i start dreaming.
    Henceforth there is nothing from past which should be remembered by me.

    I am going to try this now. thanks


     
  5. Shina

    Shina Gold IL'ite

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    A big hug to you. You are really unhappy with ur husband and hurting bad thinking ur whole life is ruined because u left the right guy for wrong reasons. You need to heal ur emotions and hurt to be able to stop thinking abt ur boyfriend. Seek counselling if u can.

    And whenever u just cant stop urself from thinking about him , imagine his wife. How would you feel if u were married very happily and ur husband was having an affair. You would be totally devastated. Do u want to be responsible for doing that to someone? Think about ur child and his children. All this will help u to not act upon ur temptations.

    Also take up hobbies to keep ur mind super busy with other things as that will help a great deal. Make new goals in life and work hard to achieve them as all this will help in alleviating the depression u feel due to unhappiness in marriage.

    Most importantly try and stop communicating with him. Ask him also to do the same. All the very best.
     
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  6. beingloved

    beingloved Gold IL'ite

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    You left him for a reason. Try to stood by your decision. Try to make the most out of your own life as this is all you've got:)


    All the best:)
     
  7. priyanka12345

    priyanka12345 Silver IL'ite

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    yeah Shina u understood me correctly.
    I will never have any affair again with my ex bf. I am thinking abt his wife and child and my son. I wont ever and hence am trying to resolve all this at earliest. Its been only 2 days since am having these thoughs tand if i correct them now nothing will happen.
     
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  8. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    oy! Cheeky fella!
     
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  9. bathalatha

    bathalatha Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi dear,

    You do not know the version of his wife.Don't think how lucky she is and spoil
    your mood.She might have her own set of problems.Would you be happy if you know
    that your husband is in touch with his ex and is chatting with her.It might be the same with her.She might know or not know about this.If she knew about this,she might not feel she is lucky.So stop comparing your life with her and that helps you to
    get out of your negative thoughts.
    Concentrate more on your child.Play with him.Go out with him.
    Cut off all contacts with your ex.
    Whenever you want to talk to your ex,spend that time with your child.
    Write down whatever you want to and tear the paper off..That helps too..
    Good luck
     

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