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Hello ladies...need advice!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Weasly, Feb 28, 2015.

  1. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you @nb25 and @sweety127 for your kind words !

    Guess what ladies and @googleglass, the guilt trip has started from the pils! They are sending dh articles of Sravan Kumar stories and stories of where the son sacrifices his life for his parents (in mail and in messages on phone) and trying to make him feel guilty ! I dont know how low they can go in trying to guilt tripping dh ! I have no idea how to tell them that what they are doing is just so low !
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Your in-laws behavior is strange. I have never heard of nonsense like this. Don't engage them and take the high road as difficult as it is. Your poor DH probably feels bad too.
     
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  3. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Seriously! They are deluded; aren't they? What does your husband say? Is he annoyed? Cuddle and acknowledge it must be tough for him. Keep asking him if he is ok. And tell him often that you love him and really appreciate his strength of character in doing the right thing - being against such controlling behaviour
     
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  4. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    I feel so bad for dh ! he sees his parents do this and then he sees my parents for giving me so much of independence and he feels bad again that he has to deal with such things! I am trying to be by his side and keeping him distracted from these cheap tricks!
     
  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh
    I am sorry Weasy ...but this is so funny....
    My sympathies lie with you both. Hope and pray that you have the patience to survive the drama.
     
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  6. GoogleGlass

    GoogleGlass IL Hall of Fame

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    lol

    i want to keep away but sometimes it so happens - i night walk :)
     
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  7. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    Change the data plan :p
     
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  8. nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    Good that he recognizes it, and supports you. What amazes me is that they still don't stop. Let them do it, Weasly. Just ignore, and keep supporting your husband.
     
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  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    @Weasly ...I discussed your case with my husband and asked him for suggestion...first he gave a disgusted look then said"Her husband should just say"Since you have decided I am a bad son(hence needing the Shravan Kumar lessons) ,I have decided that I am fine with it.

    From my experience ....two things might happen if he goes this route...
    1) A strong sense of guilt will over take them and they will respond with...we never meant this.You are a good son.....and this will be the end of the long distance education .

    2) They might tell you people why they think he needs the lessons in life....which might escalate the tension.

    This happened to us one time...my husband was being sent on the guilt trip for not being the good son that they expected and it was hinted that 'I' was the reason for it.(There were comparison made with the other son and dil too)

    Instead of arguing with them and trying to prove them wrong...he just said"Fine...I am the bad son...my wife is a bad dil ,we are both bad"
    This sent them into a guilt free fall...."We never said that ....we did not mean that..."
    We both just walked out for a long walk. They have never tried the"bad son guilt trip' again.


    Last time she mentioned how we both are so simple and never want anything from them while the other couple are always asking them for money and help.
     
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  10. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Weasy,

    It is so great that ur dh supports, so ur problem reduces to half.
    Sam suggestion, as most friends said here, I too think u should go together as a team and leave the place as a team if any drama happens. If u give-in for anything same repeats for other vacations. be dignified and leave the room if any drama starts. Let ur hubby do that complex talk if any needed .

    So nice of Weasy's husband, yellowmango's husband that they understand that their parents, by doing tantrums/guilt-trip etc they are spoiling the son's life.

    So son stood for his happiness, son knows that if he keep satisfying their demands one day it takes everything of his (son's) own family life.

    I wish all men can see the truth behind these tantrums like weasy husband sees.
     
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