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Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by blindpup10, Oct 27, 2016.

  1. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned- this thread is about what not ignore if you believe your partner is having an affair.


    I started watching a British show Doctor Foster on Netflix- This thread is inspired by this particular show. The show goes along the lines that the wife (Doctor Foster) suspects her husband is having an affair, confides with a colleague and a friend (women). Both her friend and colleague disregard the notion of an affair. The gut feeling of Doctor Foster makes her follow her husband only to find him visiting his mother. By the end of the first episode, Doctor Foster finds out she was right about him having an affair and the girl he is cheating with is 20 years younger. His assistant, the girl’s parents and her colleague knew about the affair. He also had a second phone hidden in the car. He behaved extra caring, being usual, helping her at home.


    My experience- Although I haven't experienced “cheating partner” personally. My best friend’s fiance cheated on her when they were in a live-in. I had always thought they were the perfect couple and one day I get a call that she will crash in our place for awhile. My roommate and I thought maybe a tiff. But later the things my bestie told was mind boggling. The things my bestie had to go through, it was kinda hard to see. The only things I took away from the incident is-

    1. Men are pigs
    2. You don't really know anyone. (Even in a live-in, people can hide things if they chose to)
    3. The relationship can change at any point.

    P.S- Seeing my bestie cheated affected me quite a bit, I delayed looking for grooms, never had a boyfriend and had an assumption that all men will cheat. My mother tells me that I have always had this paranoia (from a very young age) if my dad talks to any female.. I would watch intently and tell my mother everything about the conversation and even advice my mom to be careful :facepalm:. I don't even know where this paranoia comes from...But I know the cheating partner is real.It may or may not happen to everyone... it certainly does happen.


    I am starting this thread to collect your inputs on what shouldn't be ignored If you find yourself having a gut feeling about your partner or how to go about finding out the “truth”.

    PS- NO I don't have a gut feeling of my DH cheating. As of now.
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2016
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  2. ChennaiExpress

    ChennaiExpress IL Hall of Fame

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    I leaned person us good as their heart.

    Handsomeness, wealth, etc makes person bigger version of himself.

    If poo, ugly man us pig, being handsome and rich will make him bigger pig.

    On the other hand their we handsome and rich men with good heart and will b faithful to their wife.


    A that is why I do not believe in "safe" or "steady" husband.

    On the other hand if a girl tries to enrich her life and learn new and different things, if one partner is a snake she will kick him out. Because she knows God will bring her better partner.

    I know doesn't answer question, but your post made me want to write this.
     
  3. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Finest Post Winner

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    My DH has this incredible gift of convincing an almost going for divorce people also to stay together....:cool::cool:

    Don't ask me how :facepalm:....he just knows to talk

    Acc. to him, a person shouldn't ignore the sudden mood swings or the sudden interest in something that wasn't interesting earlier.

    Say a sudden interest can be in getting themselves groomed.....or getting ready... or the sudden parlor or spa sessions ... or hitting the gym too!

    Mood swings are more like being happy suddenly, smiling while working and evading when asking for a reason

    a sudden interest in chatting and hanging onto phone but no messages to show when checked or putting in a new password blocking out the other partner completely!
     
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  4. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I have witnessed a few married men and women were cheating their spouses. Sadly these men and women were my friends/colleagues. So, I could see almost everything. Which helped me to understand something around this cheating chapter.

    As @beautifullife30 suggested, the sudden changes of life style was a big clue - although that is not the case with everyone.
    One of my friend suddenly decided to lose weight. She was 90kg at that point, and always ignored dieting whenever suggested. She is a foody, and she could never think about going on a diet. She had a mindset that loved her body as it is, and she would often discourage others for being on diet for a slim body.
    But one fine day she said that she is on diet. We thought she would not continue, as she could not. But she was determined, and continued that strict dieting for 6 long months, to lose almost 30kgs. She became very young in looking, and her mindset, mood, everythingelse has changed with that.
    Slowly she was like showing interest in dressing, make up, hair, and more acceptance towards western life style. She was very much traditional before.
    And later we found out that she was cheating on her H with a fellow colleague emotionally though.
    She was so much in love and almost addicted to that colleague, who stayed in a diff country.
    But they broke up, and things are back to square 1.

    She says that she missed the spark in her life, specially her H was so mechanical. So she fell emotionally for that guy.
    But now, with her grooming and life style changes, she is back to normal with her H and enjoying.

    In my circle, those who cheated on their husbands are the ones who missed emotional/physical care from them on a long run.
    But the men who cheated on their wife had different reasons. I don't have any close friend among the men who cheated on their wives, so I don't know first hand details.

    @blindpup10

    Not only men are pigs, there are female pigs too
     
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  6. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for breaking stereotypes. Yes, female and male are capable of cheating on their partners.

    I was too young, naive and shocked to see my friends life steamrolled. She is still single and it looks like she is living it up. But I saw her when she was going through break up. The aftermath of being cheated on messed her up. All I can say is I lost my friend (she isn't the same person, she changed).

    Emotional cheating is still cheating and some people get a pass as it is not physical. But again if you get close to someone emotionally enough there is strong chance of them getting physical too.
     
  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    For me, emotional cheating is far dangerous than physical cheating.
    Sometimes, a slip in lust could be tolerable than deep emotional cheating.
     
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  8. viki123

    viki123 Silver IL'ite

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    @blindpup10
    Cheating partner is quite common, Personally i have not experienced. But i have few of our family who faced this situation and toll it has on their kids.
    I was so afraid of marriage and having BF a one time.

    One thing i always keep in mind is no to emotionally depend on partner, even if you are never let them know about it. Once they take u for granted, they will stop thinking about you.
     
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  9. gok

    gok Silver IL'ite

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    I never heard of or aware of cheating partners before i married this guy - haven't heard about this from anywhere.
    Now i know there are dirty pigs [i even feel bad in calling them pigs. Pigs are much better than these people] like him because i saw his true color.

    i dont know how many of them have these characters: -
    but this is his behavior -

    - he shows too much love or care when he was trying to make me divert from noticing the mistake that he did
    - he comes home and start shouting at me before i could ask him anything [ like coming late or where he has been]
    - he accused me of having illegal relationship with all my colleagues [ even who are much younger to me ] when he actually had visited every prostitute in the city
    - he stays out of home most of the time [for more than 15 days in a month - he comes come after midnight on weekdays and he comes home early morning on the week ends. To compensate, other 15 days, he will do all the house hold chore like cleaning bathrooms, stove, cooking,... ]. if i ask him where he was, he used to say he was in his friend's home and they were cooking or drinking or watching movie or simply talking. if i fight with him then why did he marry me as i had to stay alone always, he turns the plate and says that i have relationship with someone because i stayed one night in my friends home [she is unmarried and stayed with her roommate and i had to stay there because he physically abused me that evening and i was scared to go back] and he is sick of me.
     
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  10. blindpup10

    blindpup10 Platinum IL'ite

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    @gok
    Aww Hugs sweetie. I am sorry you had to go through so much of pain. I hope you are not with him anymore.
     
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