Health and Marriage

I can related to what you say. The monotony in the job was already sinking in , coupled with family problems, and small issues here and there. Also personality plays a vital role. Some people can take care of emotions in a way that work and family life is apart, but some cannot,some can sit in one place or chair for ever, I cannot. For me if one facet of life and that too family life is broken,other part of life lose meaning and I start drifting away from meaning of life.. It takes lot of time to realise that we have to gather ourself and move on

Even today when I know my marriage is almost completely broken, there is nothing left still I feel some miracle may do something. In my heart I know that miracle is only theory.

I did see your thread on self esteem and infact I have bought a book which I started reading on self esteem and how to be more assertive...I will visit that thread and can share some thoughts sometime...

I can understand your loneliness that you have no body to talk, or even move out, and moreover it is more tough to be single after being married....Not everyone can understand this.....or relate...

 

I have thought on this subject a lot and there is no one right answer,but education in India is not a bad option is it?

 

Canwait, I can understand where you coming from, If I be on this forum for some years, I can assimilate all that we discuss here and write a book on marriage , divorce, remarriage, settling issues, what not in married life :thumbsup


I know how difficult the period is for me since last few months in which time I have constantly been thinking of divorce, talking to lawyers, courts, etc, researching so much.. I feel what is that I am doing at times. If I have to file, I have to file, but divorce is easy said that done , esp when kid is involved. My emotions run so high that sometimes I feel I should jump from a tall building(just trying to express my emotions), What I mean is I feel worn out, I feel completely drained emotionally .

Now that I have invested so much time thinking of divorce I feel what is the point in seeking reunion, what is that is going to change? From yesterday I am again getting flashbacks of past episodes, I again started analysing what happened. I got angry, aggitated, someone who has lost his mental balance for a moment, I suck in that past moment . I take Advil PM to sleep so that I can sleep through night peacefully sometimes.

Sometimes I see my life like we see things from colored glass, it looks yellow, green, red.. what not. Most part I see my life more of a lose lose situation. All I feel is that I lost and did not get anything from life. Though I know there are people who are worst off , I know this world is not a place to be happy all the time and life is not bed of roses , But if one does not get any respite ever, if challenges keep coming one after other, it becomes difficult to manage life all through out with same level headed ness. Like you said I have seen, that not by choice we are thrown into a situation, we try to defend, fight, accept it, and wish it to pass away one way or other.

 

Spidey I typed a reply and it was lost due to the site ,typed again.

I feel dating concept in west is not as people see from outside. From India people feel that dating is very easy in West and that people generally can find partners easily. I feel it is comparitively easy but still lot of people dont find right person, they dont cling on to the same partner, they just move on. I have had friend in office who has been dating off and on at last she found someone who she is marrying now, her friend now 47 a single mom through IVF is not able to find anyone yet..to marry. She dated a guy recently and he said if he ever has to marry her he would regard her son as her son and not theirs . She dumped him... and now again looking....

So bottom line is dating is not easy in US, its like wandering and trying to find someone, I feel traditional marriages where marriages are arranged can be a plus at times, you see one needs at times to just get into a relationship, because even otherwise knowing someone for years and marrying might not work either. Chances of love and arrnage marriage failing are almost same

My DD has studied in India until 6th, she has been in US little over 4 years.She likes India, I feel she will be more happy there with friends and all which are easy to make and gel because of culture... Also I have family issues. If I decide to file for divorce even then I will be better off in India, as I can meet my son and be part of his life. If we get together with some miracle, then also it will be good in India... I have my old mother who has no one to support her except me, and she lives in India.

We dont have GC or USC that i can sponsor her GC and yet others issues like I said being part of my son's life still wont be answered. So all practical purpose India is the right option. And when I see life in long term perspective I feel I should be in India...

DD will definitely have issues in studies in India, she has not studied physics, chemstry yet here. Though she is inclined to take science stream but I am worried that she does not know what it takes to get into science with her being average student and not studied those core subjects till now... She is very cretive so I wanted her to do something in creative, she is interested in fashion designing. I also feel commerce and arts will be good and she can drift to some creative line after that too.

 

Dating , live in relationship are more open and accepted in western world. In India it is not easy...You are right mithy

However Malvika is right Mithy, in India dating is now very common , and people are opting for love marriages too easily . It is pretty visible in metros and urban areas. Boyfriend, girlfriend concept and even live in relationships are seeing the day in India now