He Is Visiting Pros*

Hi Kranti, really sorry to hear what you are going through and its very unfortunate DH is behaving this way despite your efforts to calm the situation and keep your cool. You have not mentioned which country you are in. In many countries red light districts are illegal (in Gulf countries) and people involved in such activities face jail time. If he is doing it despite being illegal, raise the issue directly with DH, let him know this is a huge risk as there could be a police case pulling the entire family into trouble. Ask him why he is taking such a big risk and what is wrong at home. This should be enough to stop him. If you are living in a western country where this may be legal and accepted its more tricky, just talking and explaining impact on kids will not be enough. If possible rent an apartment for month or two and move out with kids for a few days. Tell him to think over and settle his anger issues and future of kids won't be good without a father. See how he reacts before thinking of separating.

 

here point is either to stop him/not to stop him. he is not kid to save him. @krant I hope u r working. if not start getting financially independent in such a way, u can handle your life on your own. Have savings & have plan for future of kids. Sit & explain him. may be not officially not divorcing for sack of kid, but try to live like roommates(in separate rooms in same house). thats what i can say even it is hard.

tell him that, if he is looking outside relationships, that is betrayal of your love. So only for sake of kids, u have to stay with him. Dont entertain sex & other romances cum services. Tell him, if he is maintaining other relationships, that will give freedom to you that you also can search for other relations which is obviously will affect children.


Other side of coin, try to catch his romantic desires which is pushing him to redlight area. is it something you are not providing to him?

 

Is it the trigger for him to be in red?

 

This is very aggressive and will increase the conflict instead of resolving it. Such actions should be last step. I think every person should be given several chances and every attempt should be made to patch up when children are involved.

 

OP, I would suggest try to be calm. Try to keep your home peaceful and avoid arguments and conflicts. Try to be cordial with him for some time. Once you feel your home environment is stable and peaceful.
Ask for some time to discuss this matter. Choose a place where you have privacy (no kids) and bring this topic. Try to not blame him in the conversation, instead mention that you are in notice and this act of his is bothering you as it will affect his health and family. All the best.

 

I’m so sorry to hear this. I think you know what you want and need to do but can’t bear to do it. It must be so painful..I think beyond him visiting a prostitute just for sex, sometimes it’s the ethics related to it. Again don’t know which country you are in but some of these poor ladies are forced in the trade or victims of human trafficking. I would question the morals of a person getting services from such a victim and playing a part in this chain. Also, is it legal in your country?

Please also do a check up to make sure he did not pass on any disease to you. Get yourself checked, ask yourself if you can forgive him, if you will trust him again. Creating a dating profile all is a bit too much. He’s obviously looking out. Are you okay if next time he has a EMA too? Might want to visit a marriage counsellor if you want to stay on..