Having Second Baby In India

ILUser07 · Jan 30, 2018

Not sure which forum is relevant for this post. So posting here.

Hello Ladies,

While I am still confused over having IVF to have second child through frozen embryo transfer.
I'm in US and I had first baby through IVF. Had C section. Had tough time with inlaws during post partum(stayed for 1 yr). Suffered from poor memory, joint aches, arthritis, abdominal pain due to weak muscles, depression which is not addressed. I felt really low with poor self esteem. After a year, went to India where I got time to rebuild my confidence, used some medication for the other issues. i will say I had very difficult post partum recovery which took me almost 1.5yrs.
I just started leading a normal life. My son is 2.2 yrs and I am in mid 30s which is why I feel the rush from my family what it will be hard if i delay which I too agree. But I am nervous to go back and go through all of it again.
With all the previous experience, I am pushing my husband that I want to have my second kid in India. Being C section, I don't see a reason why I should stay here and request for help(For first baby I thought I will have normal if I have in US. I know I am dumb). My mom says, it will be easy for her to take care in India as they can hire domestic help. I know I am thinking too much as there are so many things with IVF. But if everything goes well, I want to go to India, have a baby and come back once the baby is 1.5yrs or so.
Is my thinking right? My husband says I will be depriving the baby of the benefits of being a US citizen. I don't see it as a big deal as lot might change by the time they grow up. My DH might need to stay alone for a while. But I feel its ok if I weigh pros and cons.

DDream · Jan 30, 2018

OP,
Is it possible to go to India and transfer the embryo..comeback once you complete 12 weeks and have delivery in USA.

That way you get better care and can avoid all those issues you my mentioned. If your parents are healthy, they can come here to support you. In US, one can manage everything alone than in India. Your elder one can join daycare. That will give you enough rest. I think your dh is right

Make your husband part of this journey than suffering alone in India.

Sandycandy · Jan 30, 2018

People across the world come to the US illegally to deliver a US citizen child ! You want to deprive the child of legal US citizenship ! It is a big deal my friend and will always be a big deal.
Agree with @DDream make your husband a part of this journey rather than staying apart. Having the inlaws over for delivery is not a good idea in most cases. Dont let past experiences get in the way of enjoying the second pregnancy and delivery . Take care !

Rihana · Jan 30, 2018

One child US citizen and another not is a situation to be avoided if possible.

If family has returned to India for good and second/third child born there, that is one thing. But, going to India just for delivery, not fair to the child deprived of US citizenship for such a reason.