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Have You Ever Been "rude" To Anyone ?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Nov 19, 2021.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Just a self introspection thread...

    let me being with me.

    Yes. With my Mother (Intentionally..)

    Usually am very careful with words and maybe I could have been unintentionally rude to people.Sometimes,it clicks that I have been rude and a couple of times I have personally apologized to people.

    Also, if I have hurt anyone in IL..I apologize.It is actually a beautiful word when used once in a while and obviously when you mean it:)

    To my best,I have tried to be careful with what I say.

    Anyways..why did I hurt my mother?


    Reason? I was a bullied child in school by peers/teachers and home atmosphere was also not that great.
    A very scared child and my only frustration outlet is my mother.She is the only person in the world who will never hurt me back...and I always hurt her. When I saw her at the brim of tears...I relaxed.I feel extremely ashamed of myself and I still keep apologizing to her even her (she is least bothered of course being the sweetheart and forgiving that she is)

    After my college..I gained my composure and have been kinder after that.

    I found myself feeling a sense of power and victory when I have controlled someone and in my case it was my innocent mother..IS THIS HOW BULLIES FEEL??

    So ..I was toxic to my own mother and I was her bully:( hmm..

    I have been in an office setting before and have been personally attacked coz people did find me vulnerable.
    If someone is vulnerable and soft...my first instinct is to be nice to them.How can I even imagine hurting a gentle soul and sleep that night?

    I have faced and heard many stories of people taking credit for others work, being sarcastic and rude..


    Just as an example..I have a neighbor who can be rude as hell.she just cannot even understand at the age of 45 that others can have a different perspective even.The entire world runs from her point of view and anyone who thinks different is her enemy.I had some strangers get mad in anger..sometimes people in the name of friends very sarcastic,relatives gaslighting and even we hear so many stories in IL..

    Why so much hatred? We are hurt and why do we pass on the hurt?why can't we develop the art of self control?

    I am not even talking about abnormal people and hatred via perverts,cheating someone's money etc..that's beyond comprehension and deep..

    Normal people..normal days..we went our frustrations at home to other people.Some days insecurities and jealousy can hit or even superiority complex and trying to make others feel low..It then becomes a "chain reaction".

    Have we ever thought if we were the "Giver" sometimes and not always the "Receiver"?

    Why people cannot intentionally practice a "way with words?"

    In Il we comes across various threads of someone being rude to us..including me but have we ever thought
    "if we were ever rude to anyone?"

    Again..being rude when someone is rude is one thing.It is more about "initiating" the rudeness.Teasing other people intentionally, getting insecure or envy and trying to put them down to make ourselves feel a tad better..

    When I think about this myself..I feel maybe am not as nice as I think I am:) Nobody is perfect but one can step back and think before blurting out and maybe control the tongue.So, I definitely can be a nicer person and am working towards it..

    Just a point to introspect...and to make ourselves and the world around us better..

    signing off:)
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2021
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  2. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Me always to my mom. Your post brought back all the memories of me using my mom as a punching bag.
    I don't know why I did that.
    Bit will not do it in future.
    Looking forward to seeing her .
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I feel it is becoz mom is the only person who will love us truly and will never hurt us back...:(

    No wonder mothers are Gods..
     
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  4. nayidulhan

    nayidulhan Silver IL'ite

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    Yes, Anika, We tend to take the people we love for granted. I am so snarky with my mother. Even with my husband ...at times... well that's mutual actually... he does that to me too. And when he's arrogant with me, I sulk and wonder what I did wrong to annoy him. :)

    Basically, unfortunately, our arrogance is directly proportional to the love, affection and security we receive from the other person. :(

    Our stress levels too dictate our tone of speech at any given moment. :(

    I wish I could be polite at all times though.
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly..generally when we are truly happy..we are nice people.

    When unhappy be it parents or third people we get rude..and it’s sad that the other person does Not deserve it.

    Real test of strength is holding our tounge even in the toughest times and talking the right way.

    Once words are spilt we cannot take it back
     
  6. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    I can be rude to my mom and she can on me and we have that luxury,go silent for few hours to days and talk as if nothing happened. It just goes like this...
     
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  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    This is not just mom but being rude to others in general.

    The awareness as to why we hurt others.Is it our instant anger,envy,betrayal or insecurities.
     

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