Have you ever been bored of being good to others!

BE GOOD . AND BE GOOD to your-SELF too.
We should always do unadulterated good and believe it will pay us.

Trouble -No.We should never give trouble to others.
Rude -No.We should never be rude to others.
( This 'others' includes people who are rude and trouble-some to us. )

Giveup -But I do not want toomuch givingup and then feel dejected that those people didnot deserve it.Because it depresses one's self.
It will be in mind and be root cause for more serious issues.I want to do good to my self too.
When we do onesided good, as Varloo said 'She wont mind' is the attitude some people get. They take us for granted.It costs us sacrifices and pains.
I dont know why , I cannot be hard to my MIL because I respect that she is elder to me.I cannot hurt her.Even when she has locked my personal independance and has been crafty, I simply cant be harsh.I have pondered whether its my goodness or my weakness.

we have to say 'No' when we think we should say 'No'. It is 'refusal skill'.Escaping this is not related with being good. But that will never mean we have to be harsh and that will never mean we have to say No when its our duty or chance to help.

Doin good is human duty.. We should never deviate from this...So we can be quiet and show our disapproval in such situations.By being quiet..simply quiet ,we can feel selfrespect as well as not hurt others.Silence can be an effective reaction we could takeup.But they wont like it.Does that mean we are not being good?

--Karthika.

 

Karthika,

I totally agree with you. Even earlier i mentioned the same. Silence can make us feel good that we carried ourselves well. Atleast with don't have get filthy when dealing with filth.

 

I agree with all other ILites:

You be good, people take you for granted-You become a doormat

I had this xperience in B'lore with my inlaws-it reached a pt where i had to pretend to be what they wanted to me- i was in the danger of loosing my individuality- my 'Astitva' was in danger

I did the "bad" thing of saying no to someone & Yep hell broke loose in the house- I did feel bad & guilty but hey if you want to be good to everyone-you are better off becoming a doormat

Dear ILites the best proverb that comes into my mind is what Geobbels said: You cannot please everyone at all times

Cheers,

Corallux
I firmly believe in it & trust me life is beautiful after i started following it

 

Hi Karthika :wave
I really appreciate your good thought.
I feel all humans have pluses & minuses. We prefer to ignore bad qualities of our loved ones & close family members,just to lead a happy & peaceful life.
When it comes to others we have a choice to Tolerate or ignore.
So it is up to us to make a smart choice.

:goodidea:lathanarasimhan

 

Dear All, Being good and acting to be good are two different things. Acting to be good cannot go longer. Being good is never boring . But acting to be good will be boring and it will reveal their true faces sooner. I would like to quote an incident here.

We, a group of south Indians (malayalees, tamils, kannadigas and teluguites) joined together and started getting together for poojas on tuesday mornings every week(only ladies). It was a nice experience we enjoyed doing the same and we also used to have small get-togethers with our children when they have holidays. It was going very smooth and we were all enjoying. Then a Bengali female entered into the picture. She was interested in the pooja (may be acted to be interested). She came joined us and brought a friend too. She was very nice to everyone. We took all pains to write all the slokas for her either in Hindi or English and we were all feeling so good that she showed interest in Lalitha Sahasranama and Vishnu Sahasranama etc. Each one of us tried to help her out in all possible ways and ensured that she continued. Then came holidays we had parties and get togethers with children. This lady joined in all the parties and later went to another tamil lady and bad mouthed about each one of us. That lady who knew abt all our poojas and practices cautioned us about the lady and told us everything. So we realised how people can talk something in front of us and something else behind us. We didn't tell anything to her. But just remained silent and just decided to avoid taking lot of interest in her. It hurt everyone of us. we decided to be more careful with her in the future. So some people are very good at acting to be good and finally when they cannot continue they do blunders. But by their act they only lose good friendships/relationships, we donot lose anything by being good. So let us be good always.

 

Dear Vanaja,
What is the meaning of being good? Is it so easy to fake it ? – I do not think so. You cant be forever putting on a façade. I prefer to go by the dictates of my inner voice in my behaviour. Only that comes naturally to me.
I am answerable to my own conscience & I believe in being good. How others interpret it to their thinking or twist it, shows how good they are to me. That does not bother me, but bores me.
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear friends,
I also beleve in being good, but some times, we invite unwanted troubles by being good. So we have to be careful.
Love ,
Pushpavalli

 

Hi,

I liked this thread and the instances that evetu one has told or disscussed.
I understand that when we do something good and the others, instead of appreciting, misunderstand our intentions and pounce on us, could be frustrating.

But if we decide to take revenge or not help the next time, will we be able to justify our actions to ourself ?

I have been in this dilema foe a long time now. I get sidetracked all the time and the efforts I make to gel up with my husbands family and the extra care I take to see that my MIL is happy, always goes unnoticed. But if there is one instance where I do something for mysef, it becomes an issue. Given the fact that, I have been married for 2.5 years now, I too Have some expectations from my husband, and those expectations dont go well with my MIL.

I have decided now that i will do what i can justify to myself as good, not hurt my MIL, and not change my behaviour just because I am not being appreciated.End of the day, I should be able to face myself in the mirror.

I am not trying to be ideal here, all i want to do is be a better human being every next day, as compared to the previous day. People will understand me and my efforts one day. I am confident of that.

Regards,

Yamuna.

 

Hi Yamuna,

I too sail in the same boat, married for 2.5 years with Mil picking on me for no reason. Just be yourself and be as good as u can be. There no ideally good person in world at any cost. No human can always be good and polite at any and every circumstance. If there is one , that person surely is too timid to protect one's self-respect.

We can't surely keep everyone happy all the time but we surely can try.

Have a lovely day.