Have you ever been bored of being good to others!

Dear Srinivasan-Vanaja,

I missed you for quite some time in the story forum. But now I see you are back with a bang. And you have raised a question that is very dear to my mind. Here are my two cents.

If you are good to others and are bored by that fact, then you are not good. I am harsh, but it is true. Those who are bored by their goodness are only faking good; they are not really good. An insurance salesman has to be very good to his prospects; and that makes his job the most stressful one. (Beleive me I have been an insurance salesman a few times)

Real goodness is unadulterated enthusiasm. My prescription for a healthy relationship is not being good to others; but being true to oneself. That is the ultimate goodness we can give to others.

Being good is good. But if one cant be good, at least one can be authentically bad and not faking good. To be honest I tried to put in some of these principles in the characterisation of my heroine Shalini in the serial SHE.

Want to know your views.
regards,

 

Dear Vanaja,

"Being good" has many meanings. Being good naturally is a state of being which one does not even particularly notice. We are free and easy with a dear sibling, a dear friend , a dear spouse. We are unconsciously good without expecting an equal response , measure for measure.
I think the boredom creeps in when we consciously make ourselves be good in expectation of something, especially in a situation which we inherently dislike.

But I can empathise with that TShirt declaration. In life we all have to go through phases of forced displays of goodness now and then. Thats called lubrication.:mrgreen:

manjula

 

Hi everyone,

i saw being good means what --is it show off on outer side to our relatives and friends or at work or being good means really good byr heart. Philosophically speaking being good by heart is true. By birth noone is bad and noone wants to cheat anyone. As Varalotti said people who said they are bored of being good are not good, sorry but i totally disagree with u. There are people who are really good by heart but circumstances force them to be worst. We always talk about family matters let us forget this when we come to wrokplace we can see there are few hard working people they do their work help there colleagues too. After sometimes that person keeps on helping everyone gains a good name but that becomes turning point of life when real torture starts how to find some fault in this person and if that person is not clever enough to save himself, it's gone. Such people are found as mentally disturbed or if they save themselves by any hook or crook method then where is that goodness gone. We can't expect any good thing from such person in furture.
If we see this thing at home, we don't consider a DIL, now we will talk for a good MIL. Imagine a MIL is really good to her dil she takes care of her like a mother but she don't get anything in return which she deserve. Time passes now MIL is a bit fed up and tries to get her dil on track which she is not able to do in a decent way then she tries to do something to get her corrected, now she will not be good to her dil, goodness has gone.
In fact there are many people who are good they sruggle but finally end up with a psychiatrist for depression or some similar problem. Event though they are fed up of being good but they are still good by heart, if they do something wrong to other person for their own goodness there heart itches, next time they don't repeat, goodness still remains but now that person starts thinking of gain and loss.

 

You are very right in saying that. A lot of us try to be good and when the world doesn't seem to notice it, the goodness fades. I have seen live examples of people going into depression becos of trying to be good.

But I vary in one point, remaining good even if one is bored being good is the difference. Getting bored being good doesn't mean that one is not a good person but one's benevolence is being tested. If one choses to continue being good, the boring becomes interesting and even more... one gets to see the world with different eyes, a better one for sure.

Remaining good is choice against becoming slaves to our emotions.

 

You are absolutely right. Kudos to all the ladies who keep at it in spite of all the negativity around them.

I am a firm believer in what goes around, comes around but at the same time I balance that believe in "you have to be in control of your sanity", and only you know when to stop being good to asert some individuality and self preservation.

 

Hi:wave
Being good can really become boring.People take you for granted.There are others who think its your job.Anything one way is not good.Anything given free is worthless.I've learnt this the hard way.
People can be classified as Workaholics & Parasites.
Don't feel dejected.What ever happens good people are always good.I feel its Waste of time to discuss about people who are ungrateful.
I just wrote about my parents in my profile.I feel so sad that people who took their help for building their lives don't even care to give a call or visit them.
This pain prompted me to reply.
bye.
Lathanarasimhan:idontgetit:

 

'Being good' is the term we got used to from the day we are born.
If the child is born without giving any extra trouble to the mom, then the baby is considered as'good baby' he didn't give any trouble to his mom. If the baby plays during the day and sleeps during the night--he is a good baby giving no trouble to the parents. When that baby grows up and goes to school, he is a good student when he obeys the rules of the school. When he doesn't get into fight unnecessarily, he is good guy. When he is married according to his parents' wish then he is a good son. When he is soft and adjustable, he is a good husband .When he buys whatever the children asks, he is a good father. When he does his work according to the expectation of the manager, then he is a good employee. When he looks after his parents he is dutiful son. At last when that person passes away without giving trouble to those who look after him, he is a good person. Like this, we hear a lot in our daily lives.
According to me, being good means not giving trouble to others, either, physically or mentally and follow the rules of the nature. We should not feel guilty afterwards like I should not or should have done that in the first place. We are good from the birth. It is the environment or call it vidhi-fate, which sometimes makes us feel bored. we are not like the heroes of the cinema where he is tireless being good. I don't think it is wrong to be feel bored but how we react after that, matters. We must try to get into that position where it will not affect us. It is easy to say and hard to follow. After all we are humans.
sriniketan

 

Yes guess being good can be a lil boring. Come to think of it how boring the world would be if all of us were do-gooders.

But would the thought of being boring deter a person from helping others. I dont think so and its these people who make this world a beautiful place.

Sudeshna