have to face life all alone

Re: friends

Dear friend, you can lead your happily but even before getting divorced you are worried of being alone.
Infact you should be happy to get out of an impossible situation with your hubby.
Decide whether you really want a divorce and go about it in a practical manner by consulting a lawyer.
This way your hubby is enjoying being alone to romance without the legal headache of a divorce and you are battling life on your own.
You are facing problems while he is free of responsibility of a wife and sick child , an ideal situation for him.

 

Lovely,

I agree that living alone with a kid is not easy...but think whats more important to you. Living with such a spouse and continue taking his and his family's crap and losing your sanity and confidence over it? OR live alone with a bit of struggle, but then with your head high and be like a role model to your son who's watching you every step and leaning from you.

I can understand the state you are in. Why should you being happy depend on him? just leave him out of the equation and try to be happy with what you have and left with. You will surely be fine....

If you have parents or siblings living close-by or even if they are willing to move to help you out in this tough situation, then you can stay near/with them and get some moral support for initial 1-2 yrs after separation. Then after couple of years I feel you will be in a better situation to re-access the whole scenario and then make a right decision.
You say you are working already...so thats good. Now after legal separation, if you feel your single salary is not enough, then you can always ask for alimony from him to take care of your son's special needs right? or get a one time settlement from him thru court and invest in a property and get monthly income out of it.
When one door closes...10 other doors open, Lovely. So please be strong and confident and think whats the best for you and your kid and then DO it.

 

Dear Lovely,

Only time will tell how happy you will be leading a life alone, but I am certain it will be much happier than the life filled with physical and emotional abuse.
I know you must be really worried for your son's future without his dad, but dont you think it is better for your son to grow up in an environment where his mom is happy and where he feels safe and loved.

Now that you are already working, it is good for you. Stay positive and confident.

Do you have any family members who are close enough to provide you with moral support?

 

Thats the way to go, Lovely. One thing I have realized (since I am also in similar situation as yours) the more we complain, try to pour our pain to others the more we feel sad and also they will never understand. Infact ppl try to pull you down.
Its always good to make your own decision, stick to it and be confident about it. Then the same ppl will start admiring your courage and strength.

Good luck girl!

 

If someone is doing this...when you share your problems and worries, you know they are not the right people to hang around! but not everyone would behave that way! you might also find some good friends who empathize with you and understand what you are going through. Its not necessary for people to be in your shoes to know what you are going through. Any sensible and sensitive person can understand PAIN. If they dont ...then you are better off without them

So be positive in your approach towards anyone. shun those who pity you! you dont need pity. you need empathy and understanding.

And keep telling yourself this too shall pass and ALL is WELL

Always remember, When you are going through tough situation, adversity, pain, that would always make you a better person when you come out of it, you would learn something that no one would teach / explain to you. It makes you more strong and confident.

 

I am in a quite similar situation like you. I am staying at my parents house away from my husband. He has not cheated me but used me as his punchbag. I was not safe so I've left.
I am not sure how my story will end. I know if it comes to a divorce it will surely not be easy.
But hey, you really did nothing wrong. Your husband betrayed you and is not even taking care of his only son. What makes you think that this lowlife (sorry) will be rewarded for his misdeeds with a happy life? What goes around, comes around. And what goes up must come down. Believe that bad karma will always strike back. God will take care.
You don't have to worry about that.
You are not alone you have your son and family. And who knows what the future holds for you. Be strong and trust in God!

One more thing..It is not important but I am a bit curious. Do you know the lady with whom he is having an affair? And does she know about you and your son? Or was she also fooled by your husband?

 

Does it mean your husband has not confessed that he is having an affair?
And your judgment is "just" based on what others told you?

There is nothing bad about being good friends but to meet without your knowledge is kinda fishy and not OK. I have read your other posts and I know you had a really tough time with your in-laws and husband. An affair could be the reason for his mean behavior but according to me it is not a 100% proof for this accusation.

 

Re: friends

Dear, don't think that you don't have friends, all the ilites are our friends, when i feel to have a hug, or some compassion as soon as i will start a new thread, immediately there will be a reply, so don't feel worry. You are going to get a very bright future in that new life is waiting for you is full of happiness, for you and your son.Iam also a CBSE SCHOOL teacher and my life also very tragedic life, the same way Ithought I lived with that person without giving divorce one fine morning he was no more with me leaving all the worsething to me. Now you are young take strong decision, surely you will be there where he can't imagine about you, bye,take care