Dear illites Just read and laugh , Have a good Laugh > > > > Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House: > Married MEN Not Allowed. We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy... > > Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl: > SITUATORY WARNING: > Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside. > > Lady : Is this my train? > Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. > Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train > to New > Delhi. > Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. > > A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion > in the gallery. > The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." > The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have > a scotch and soda." > > Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power. > He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power. > But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power. > > Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs? > Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone. > Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? > Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste? > Customer : No, I can't. > Waiter : Then does it really matter ? > > Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, > shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, > Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me > about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in > math's and 20 in > science." > > Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. > Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers. > Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. > Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much. > > Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer : > Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. > > Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. > Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? > > Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup? > Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. > > 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! > 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no > time for superstitions. > > Man : How old is your father? > Boy : As old as me. > Man : How can that be? > Boy : He became a father only when I was born. > > Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. > Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing? > > Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again? > Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game > went into extra time. > > An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. > 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long > has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what > been going on?' said the man. > > Girl : Do you love me? > Boy : Yes Dear. > Girl : Would you die for me? > Boy : No, mine is undying love. > > Wife : Do you want dinner? > Husband : Sure, what are my choices? > Wife : Yes and no. > > Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two > days time? Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will. > Customer : I bet you, it won't. > Post Master : Why not? > Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai. > > Trust You Had Some Laughs..!! > SHREESUNDARAM
