Have A Good Laugh

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Shreesundaram, Sep 14, 2007.

  1. Shreesundaram

    Shreesundaram Silver IL'ite

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    Dear illites

    Just read and laugh ,


    Have a good Laugh
    >
    >
    >
    > Signboard Outside A Prostitute's House:
    > Married MEN Not Allowed. We Serve The Needy, Not The Greedy...
    >
    > Written On The T-Shirt Of A Girl:
    > SITUATORY WARNING:
    > Objects Inside The T-Shirt Are Larger Than They Appear From Outside.
    >
    > Lady : Is this my train?
    > Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
    > Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train
    > to
    New
    > Delhi.
    > Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
    >
    > A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a
    commotion
    > in the gallery.
    > The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
    > The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honour, I'll have
    > a scotch and soda."
    >
    > Man Quits Smoking Because Of Will Power.
    > He Quits Drinking Because Of Will Power.
    > But He Quits Womanizing Because He Has The Will But No Power.
    >
    > Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?
    > Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.
    > Customer : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
    > Waiter : Can't you tell the difference by taste?
    > Customer : No, I can't.
    > Waiter : Then does it really matter ?
    >
    > Little Susie came running into the house after school one day,
    > shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great,
    > Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room and tell me
    > about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in
    > math's and 20
    in
    > science."
    >
    > Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
    > Waiter : Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.
    > Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
    > Waiter : That's all right sir, he won't drink much.
    >
    > Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer :
    > Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
    >
    > Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
    > Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?
    >
    > Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?
    > Waiter : I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.
    >
    > 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
    > 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no
    > time for superstitions.
    >
    > Man : How old is your father?
    > Boy : As old as me.
    > Man : How can that be?
    > Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
    >
    > Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.
    > Waiter : Funny? But then why aren't you laughing?
    >
    > Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
    > Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game
    > went into extra time.
    >
    > An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.
    > 'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.' 'How long
    > has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. 'How long has what
    > been going on?' said the man.
    >
    > Girl : Do you love me?
    > Boy : Yes Dear.
    > Girl : Would you die for me?
    > Boy : No, mine is undying love.
    >
    > Wife : Do you want dinner?
    > Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
    > Wife : Yes and no.
    >
    > Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two
    > days time? Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will.
    > Customer : I bet you, it won't.
    > Post Master : Why not?
    > Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai.
    >
    > Trust You Had Some Laughs..!!
    >
    SHREESUNDARAM
     
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    hi shree...

    That was good.....:rotfl
     

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