Has this happened to you?

I am same like you.. I know DH loves me LOTS but he also doesnt beleve in the whole B'day gifts cards ect ect..

On his b'day I make the whole day sepcial about him, mke him lavish breakfast, save money and buy gifts, cards, take him out to fancy dinner & entertainment, bake a homemade cake -- the whole works.. & he loves every second of the day!!

& for my b'day he takes me out to dinner.. thats it. no cake/ gifts nothing.. Then I keep telling him ENTIRE year, you didnt get me cake for my b'day, I want cake & then he will run to store & buy pastry for me!! he is so sweet.. but he doesnt understand the concept that I want b'day to be BIG celebration too..
This year is my 25th b'day so I tell him I want to have a special b'day .. but I am due with first baby 1 week before my b'day .. he tells me no one is going to remember your birthday anymore everyone will celebrate the baby birthday.. and then also tells me .. I am giving you the biggest present ever.. a BABY happy birthday!! Silly man:rotfl

 

Ahhhh so sweet............
But then thats true, you are getting the biggest gift ever, that will keep on giving you more and more joy, no cake or gift can compare with that. Have a wonderful birthday.

 

Dear Jaya,

Good to be interacting with you again after such a long gap! Firstly, wish you many happy returns of the special day. When is it? You seem like a fellow Cancerian.

Hey, I totally understand where you are coming from. Of course, it is reasonable to expect those sweet little surprises and romantic dinners with your dearest one. I think you are right on track with that. Also, I have seen some people feel jaded with the romnatic stuff after they have had it/done it for a few years. And yes, people's likes, choices etc. do evovle over a period of time. So what they did some years ago they may not like to do it now.

I think your DH is in that mode right now. He does not seem to be up for being the "doer" of the romantic stuff. However, as you agree, he loves you a lot and even expresses it many times. It is just that you expect this expression at some other special times too.

I think that you should totally feel justified to have a romantic time time with him. However, you should take it upon yourself (at least for some time) to make that happen. I am certain if you plan a romantic dinner with hubby he will participate actively. Similarly, go get yourself flowers because you like them (as weird as this suggestion may sound!). He will appreciate the spirit in you and who knows this positive spirit may even rub off on him and he may start doing those things for you once in a while.

Jaya, sometimes people forget what it is to do something for someone and we have to remind them of those things by "leading by example". Sometimes leading by example is the only thing that works. When he sees you doing those things for yourself (you did for him anyway), he will
realize one day soon that he had fun doing those things for you.

Having the security that your DH loves you is a HUGE thing. You have that on your side. Rest you are capable of handling and slowly bringing about the changes you want to see in your DH.

Go for it girl!

Luv,
SS

 

Hi Jaya,

Yes Yes Yes!! I understand what you mean.. My DH is also same. For me birthdays are very big deal, but he is not used to celebrating birthdays from his childhood. first birthday after marriage i forced him so much for flowers you know what, he bought plastic flowers and said these will never go bad these will stay for life hahaha and i was just laughing that is when i understood his way of thinking. i still celebrate my birthday my own way.. we both go and order cake and i take it to office and share it with my colleagues. i plan the restaurant or movie or whatever i want to do and also a surprise small birthday gift for myself and i remind him to send me ecard and he sends very lovely ecard. i am soo happy with this setup
when i was alone in US before marriage i would do the same. In webcam i would show my mom while cutting cake. i went to movie by myself, i enjoy watching movie alone wore two new dresses one in the morning, one in the evening and bought small camera which was my self surprise gift :hide: not sure how it was surprising but ya.. it was really fun..

Have Fun!!

 

Wow, archana, your spirit is commendable.:thumbsup