Has Anyone Watched The Movie " The Great Indian Kitchen "

The movie's topic is a good one and kudos to the producer for making a movie on it. Effortless acting by all the main cast. Watching the movie felt a bit dragging though. Repeatedly seeing the same kitchen work scenes was not what I expected in a movie. Maybe I sat down to watch the movie mid-week after a long day and after dinner clean up.. so it was like my attention went from my kitchen sink to hers. : )

It is a movie that will hopefully cause some discomfort and thinking in older generation who watch it with the DIL. However, I found quite a few one-sided presentations of issues.

Woman wants to work after marriage
The woman's family does not discuss clearly with the man's side about the woman doing a job after marriage. The man claims they told her parents about she should not take up a job. The woman says her parents didn't tell her about that. Further, the woman's mom encourages her to apply for the job anyway, and "we'll see later ... what happens ..." That is not good advice, it is more like bait and switch. The man's family might have chosen her as she is not working. They might not like their DIL to work as a dance teacher.

Woman's parents don't do due diligence?
People in the movie have FB accounts. She is asked to delete a video from her FB page. So, the movie is set in recent times. The man's family still uses a wood or coal thingie to make rice. And there seems to be no regular maid servant. Why get daughter married into such a household?

Man is not considerate of the woman's needs or preferences in intimacy
It was refreshing to see this issue highlighted in an Indian movie so clearly. We need more such movies. At the same time, one has to wonder if it is realistic to expect that kind of compatibility in an arranged marriage with no extended get-to-know each other period. The man and the woman barely talked with each other. They get married nevertheless and she discovers that he is not into foreplay.

It would have been better if both sides of this issue were presented. Men also have to put up with their preferences or desires remaining unmet. It is unfortunately very common for women to get married even if they are not terribly interested in sex. The advice given by the older women to the bride leaving for her marital home can be as succinct as the word "cooperate" being whispered into her ear as she is getting into the backseat of the flower-decked car. Been there, overheard that. Just to avoid any misconceptions: I overheard that; was not the recipient of that advice. Like the woman in the movie puts up in bed with what she has to, there are men who have to make do with a wife for whom sex is mainly an obligation.

There's more fish in the wider pool
Often, a woman's family wants to marry her into a family from the same caste or community, to a man who hasn't been married before, is of a certain age, education and earning level. That narrows down the pool quite a bit. If the woman wants to work after marriage, wants a man who will treat her as an equal, who will care about her sexual satisfaction, why not become as modern in the groom hunt too?

The arranged marriage system works well for those who don't go looking for modern fundas and results in a traditional system. Better to modify it to a semi arranged system. Find the match through the system but take the time to get to know each other.