Has anyone has plans to settle in India during old age?

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by anika987, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Me and dh were talking about this yesterday. It started on a lighter note and I was telling him though there are luxuries in US,somehow I miss India or rather my hometown.Somehow in a dilemma whether to go back now or later.Dh said once the kids grow up, we can go back and settle.I told
    him that is too long and future is unknown.We chalked out pros and cons and as of now decided it is best to be in US for the sake of kids education,handling the responsibilites while we are younger,saving money.Once the kids move out,we would
    want to go back to India with the savings,no responsibilites and live there.Without responsibilities,lesser regret also will be there.

    Hypothetically speaking,do you think this kind of a dream will ever come true?is it possible for NRI's who have been outside India for too long to adjust back in India during old age?Has anyone gone back after many yrs and are happy in India?
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2014
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  2. Lavanya30

    Lavanya30 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Kalpana,

    Even we keep having these discussions, and it's so hard to decide. As of now we have decided to wait until my little one is 5 years and then re-look at this discussion. Yeah there are so many luxuries in US, but I miss India in many ways :) :) :). I am looking forward to IL's views.
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    me too! Miss India a lot!
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2014
  4. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    me too lavanya.

    so many people are in a dilemma .Many when they settle back now in India,miss this and that of America.Being in usa,we miss many things about India.The main problem is if we settle when we are younger in India,I have heard many regretting..

    1) what is my kid had better education in usa.
    2) we had a free life in America and not judged.now isn't it tough?
    3) Did I deprive my kid of more luxuries?
    4) India is more westernized..scared for kids..

    many many other examples of regret.

    that is why if we finish our kids responsibilities..when we go back to India or any place we want to in Old age,probably with more maturity,less interest in materialistic things, need for spiritual wealth,no kids activities and responsibilities..regret might be less.

    I think it is tough to go to India in between (rendu kettan nelamai).

    either early or later..

    me too looking forward to IL's views..
     
  5. DKI

    DKI Platinum IL'ite

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    I think finally what will make you happy is your mental preparedness for life in India. My father left India when he was 20. After 12 years he went back to India after his marriage, but before we girls were born. He was there for about 10 years and went back abroad in 1977. In 2001, after both of us were married, we coaxed him to retire, and they have happily settled in Kerala. It did take them some time to adjust after having been outside India for so many years. The biggest issues they faced were the quality of househelp as well as the lack of accountability when people said that they would come for any repairs etc.

    Other than that, they adjusted and are very happy there. Appa bought a car and drives everywhere within Kerala. Inside India travel they prefer train to air since they can lie down and relax, and where ever they are going, the railway stations are closer than the airports.

    Other than them, there are a few more of his friends who went back to India, both when kids were in school / college, or like him once kids were out of the house.

    But the common statement I have heard from all NRIs who went back was that you should be mentally prepared for life in India, as well as not expect things to be as organized and luxurious as you have it overseas.

    My wish? To go back to India once and for all once my son is in college. DH though has no plans of going back - so agreement is I will go and stay for extended periods when ever I feel like it :)
     
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  6. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    We are planning to go back India before my daughter turn 5 (next year). For me reason is we (me and DH) both miss our family, siblings and we do not have any close relative here every one is settled back in India. My daughter has no way to see how we celebrate festivals and family get to gather. She was there for few months when she was 2 year old and some memories (thanks to pics taken) about those days. Personally for me that life is better than American luxurious life.

    In old age, I know an aunty (my neighbor in India), who was in Dubai for 20 years and moved back India 2 years back. Per aunty, initial few days were very tough and she was regretting the decision of moving back. But once she got accommodated , made many friends in society, got used to for indian system she is very happy. Her both son are settled outside of India but she is not alone here.
     
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  7. FromMars

    FromMars Gold IL'ite

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    Hi OP,
    I think the decision will be now or never.

    Eventually when your kids grow up, do you think you will leave them here and you and your DH go to India and live by yourselves, without visiting your kids and grandkids. Also the fact that your kids will need your help growing up their kids.

    So, if you want to go back, you have to take your kids. They won't come back if they grow up here. If its difficult for people to settle in India after being away for a few years, think of what your kids will go through. They will never settle in India.

    !!!
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    There are so many parents who bring up kids in India but after they grow up and move to USA,they are all alone there!

    So I feel I have to think that way and move to India.Even in USA, after they grow up..
    They are not going to be in a joint family or same state.Parents here meet kids once a yr.

    Not saying the above to justify myself..for me I miss India.I very well know I won't have any relatives there.friends also,only when I go will I know.Still heart yearns for India.

    If I go now,and regret the move,it is not easy to come back.we have so much responsibilities.kids,their education,savings ,day to day life etc etc.

    If I move back when I am older without hazzles..even if I regret it will be lesser or the move back will be easier as I said no responsibilities etc.

    Just hoping for good:)
     
  9. NirmalaGoofy

    NirmalaGoofy Gold IL'ite

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    After coming from India after 3 month vacation celebrating with family, my decision was easy, I will settle in India in my old age. First few weeks might be difficult to adjust with all the luxuries you had outside India, but nothing can even come close to the feel of being at home. Travelling is easy all over India esp. in train. I dont want to drive until my 80s. I should have the option of hiring an auto or taxi etc.... if needed. If kids settle outside, I can visit them or they can visit them yearly once or once in two years. Thats what we do to our parents now.
     
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  10. Aria

    Aria New IL'ite

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    Can I answer the question rephrasing it as "Would you settle in the same country you are residing now in your old age"?


    No, I can't, I can't afford it. I stay in one of the most expensive cities in the world and working out the math to support the the kind of lifestyle I envisioned 30 years from now I don't think my retirement savings can invoice the privations in my infirmary. Again I love the city so much that this country is synonymous with the city so I'd not prefer to settle in another city in the same country.


    India is definitely an option for me in terms of affordibility and help I may need whilst managing on my own. Being realistic, I'd like to retire to a quiet place having spent a slice of my life in the din and fog. Sunshine for more than 8 hours is a deal! Receive cards from my nephews and nieces writing to their Aunt Gnashers! I'm not very culturally, socially craving person to be connected with my roots so neighboring Maldives, Tibet, Burma will also do as long as the nearest Indian restaurant serves piquant ragda chat and of course the radio station plays Gloria Gaynor's "I will survive" (won't I be too confused in 2045 which finger to swish in air to play a song in my iOrchestra so will rely on vintage radio station)
     
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