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Has a bad childhood adversely affected your marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kavya007, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. piscesy2k

    piscesy2k New IL'ite

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    Hi kavya,

    My mother was illtreated by her husband and her MIL in a very bad way although i did not realise its gravity at that time because i was only a kid...I remember every morning used to dawn with my father shouting expletives at my mother...I used to be so sad and feel like i dont have a proper guardian as my mother was a weak hearted, poor lady.

    When i became a teenager, my mother had a psychological attack when her FIL misbehaved with her and she turned violent with everyone specially me for a reason that i still dont understand...She used to beat me up even if i ask her sorry and used to always listen to some old hindi songs which sends me shivers when i happen to listen even today

    Around that time, when i was 14 some guy of 18 years old called me up in our phone and i found the attention very exciting...i thought he loved me...but I found he did not...After that I stopped talking to him at all...

    I confessed this to my guy...he was so utterly devastated but he make me believe that i was innocent and that it was not my fault ..now we are madly in love with each other, i have forgotten my past...yes i expect everything i missed back then from my guy, and luckily i am getting it all..I'm not taking any of it for granted but then that is what keeps me going...his love and attention and constant pampering is like breath to me now...I hope my guy never changes

    Now my parents have recovered from their demons..they are happy with each other and i live with them...they love me very much too...but they simply hate my relationship with my guy because he belongs to another caste...But honestly, I don't care that much because it is my guy that has shown me a kind of compassion that nobody had at a crucial time..I love him so very much and nobody can make me change my mind...I will still love him even if, god forbid he leaves me in future(though i'd be devastated beyond repair) for any reason because he my GOD who gave me a second chance with life and i will never forget that.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2010
  2. mithy232

    mithy232 Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks Kavya....I will survive and thrive! :cheers
     
  3. blessed

    blessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi kavya

    My childhood was not totaly bad, my Dad was very very dominating and strict but mom was loving and innocent and belived Dad is a perfectionist who can never be wrong, I have two lovely sisters whom I still adore.

    Yes very true u should not go over board and tell every minute unpleasant things that happened in our childhood to your DH, I made the mistake when I started getting closer to my DH and totaly trusted him, I hated my dad during those days and I kept telling all his "hitler" stories to my DH who then listened patiently and felt sorry for me.

    Then when I had my difficult times with my MIL, and when I complained to him he instantly shot back saying " when I could not adjust with my own dad and how can he expect me to adjust with inlaws"

    so even today I regret telling him of all my childhood secrets.
     

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