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Harbhajan Convert To Harris & Chicken Turns Into Potato

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by Thyagarajan, Jun 11, 2021.

  1. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Forty days - just before Easter is considered sacred period of fasting among orthodox Christians. During this period, they religiously follow the dictum of desisting from eating non veg that includes chicken.

    But then, for a punjabi residing in Rome, it is difficult around this period of forty days to skip chicken from his daily meal.
    One such fasting time, devout Christians living in his area were all observing their ritualistic fast.

    The invigorating “chicken-kurma” aroma from the home of punjabi was wafting though air, soon enveloped christians’ homes in the neighbourhood. The residents who all found the irresistible aroma hitting their nostrils tempting to long for eating chicken kurma Thandoori.

    It turned their mouth watering but because of their having to observe Easter Fast, were compelled to reluctantly kill temptation to eat any non-veg that includes chicken in any form.

    But then, the aroma of chicken Kurma from punjabi residence was so strong that few of the Christians stealthily began eating ..irked by this, orthodox among the neighbours went to residence of punjabi and wrangled and warned him that he should not cook chicken kurma anymore lest their fasting spoiled; & warned that he also should eat only veg until their forty days fasting was over. Fearing that they would turn against him and might be whacked if he disagrees with them, reluctantly agreed to their wish.

    Very next day afternoon, the aroma of chicken kurma began repleting the neighbourhood and hit the residents’ nostrils.
    Fed up with this circumstance, Collectively the residents discussed and decided to seek help of Pope. They went to cathedral, met the Pope - lodged complaint about Punjabi’s chicken kurma and it’s detrimental effect on their observing the Easter Fast.

    Pope known always for his aplomb, at once summoned the Punjabi. When he arrived, Pope in soft tone advised him to avoid inconvenience to devout catholics by not cooking chicken until the Easter is over.

    Next day too in the afternoon the air filled with that extra ordinary aroma of chicken kurma from the house of punjabi. Vexed neighbours, once again rushed to Pope and told that punjabi disobeyed his orders and found again cooking chicken.

    Seeing the distressed, the pope was in a slight quandary. A super idea crossed his mind. He decided to baptise the punjabi.

    Next day the punjabi was brought to Pope ; and after briefing him about Jesus Christ, Pope put him in water and dunk ‘s punjabi head thrice into a huge tank brimming with water and proceeded to convert him into a full fledged Christian.

    “What is your name?” Pope softly asked.
    In a polite humble tone Punjabi responded, "Harbhajan singh".
    Pope then dunk Punjabi’s head thrice into the tank water and uttered in stiff tone,
    “Henceforth, you are a Christian and your name is Harris. Harris. Harris.
    Am I heard? Your name is Harris. Starting today for next forty days, you shall not eat chicken. It is forbidden. This you would do in the name of Lord Jesus and promise”.

    Harbhajan rechristened Harris - had nodded in agreement.
    Those devout Christians who were watching all this proceedings from a distance, turned very happy, felt a sigh of relief.
    A beaming Pope was proud of his settling the issue.

    All were looking forward to the next day afternoon to watch what the punjabi would be doing...
    The irresistible extra ordinary aroma of chicken being cooked in his house was gently permeating the vicinity.

    Once again dismayed, the neighbourhood rushed to Pope .... and so the latter called the punjabi ......and enquired......

    “Revered Sir, I promised to Jesus Christ ......to speak the truth, Ihave not eaten chicken today too. Cooked potato only like yesterday...”
    The crowd shouted, “ liar, liar, liar... ”

    Next day too the same story. He continued to say in the name of Jesus - am telling the truth. I cook ..I cook .... only potato...

    A contemplating Pope was wondering that the man is swearing in the name of Jesus can’t be a lier. At the same time, the complaining devout can’t be telling untruth. He decided to discover the truth by a visit himself to the Harris’ kitchen.

    Next day just in the afternoon
    Pope went incognito to Harris kitchen.
    He was astounded with what he saw
    And same moment he swooned.
    Guess why?

    Harris was holding a fresh heavy chicken in hand, dunking it thrice into a tall drum filled to brim with water, uttered thrice....

    “From today you are no more chicken.
    You are
    Potato - Potato - Potato”

    If by dunking* Harbhajan thrice into water he can become Harris, why would a chicken too not turn into a potato?

    *Dip vs Immerse vs Submerge vs Duck vs Souse vs Dunk - What's the difference?

  2. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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  3. baljit

    baljit Senior IL'ite

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  4. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    Nice one.

    One kind suggestion though, the title gave away the punch line. If you could remove the chicken and potato out of it, would be hilarious.
    Thyagarajan likes this.

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