Harassment from Male Boss? A victim or Survivor ?

Dear Malspie,

It is great. All salutes for standing tall.

I would like to point out few things, if you dont mind. In the whole episode you have never told that the Boss has made any sort of sexual advances or any other personal favours. You felt bad for him expressing about your mothers condition..... May be you got hurt because he put it up front bluntly....... There could be otherside of the coin..... He doesnt know how to express....... Other than his outburst in an inappropriate manner...... Just think how much you have learnt from him and how he has helped you to grow in your life.....

In any organisation, the male / female harrasment is due to the fact how they behave and how they present themselves........ I know lot of females who tricks to go up the ladder... and similarly male bosses who take advantage of their positions..........

There are no ramas/ravanas by birth. It is the atmosphere and the surroundings which change them.......

I still remember my CA articleship days. I had a juniour. Daily I used to tell her to read this and that. Next day I mad a point to ask her whether she read it or nat and invariably she will not and i will make her to read it there. She used to feel bad. But she cleared her exams on her first attempt. Later she became a good friend of mine. She told me subsequently that she used to pray daily during those days that if I dint turn up for that audit she will break coconut in the temple. I was taken back for a moment...

Now if you call this as harrassment yes, it is. But it is for her good. So some people dont want others to suffer the way they suffered and try to tell their subordinates. But normal human tendency is we dont take things in the right sense unless it is thrusted on us.....

This i am not talking of some perverted bosses........

There are quite a lot of good people around....... look at the possitive side........

Veda

 

Dear Mals,

I too salute you for your brave act!!!!

i think in todays world you need to be brave and take the challenge. its indeed a very nice writeup and i think it will be very useful for me( and many) as i am going to start my career in a new country where i will have to face many people form different backgrounds and cultures.

Thanks for this wonderful post.

 

Hi dear mals,

It is after a long time ,i am speaking to you.Hru?Hope you became very popular....
O.K. now stepping back to the topic,i took a very long breath after reading your entire post.a great write up.Keep up.Many people complain abt male bosses being so dominant,not favoured inspite of all merits,excellent performance.Initially a normal person will definitely take time to realise the politics of the organisation ,later on they accustom to the scenario or take a decision to quit the office.They join another organisation .There comes one more boss being so arrogant,so on, so on.if they have a necessity to work compulsarily ,they go ahead till they fix themselves to a point.Finally on the end of the road they have a lots of compramises ,give up their self respect.

Second category of people .So submissive and passive.they are out of the game.

The third category .Bold and inviting Challenges.They do have a dilemma initially and till they adapt to the environment,they cannot take a decision.But in due course of time they come back to pavilion and act boldly .At any point they never loose their individuality,self respect at any cost.As for as from the reasons you have cited.

He does not like the time you spend with few male colleagues coz of his attraction towards you and he showing his anger by harassing you.

I think this is the major reasons which ranks top.His harrassment may be a reflection of his possesiveness towards the girl.

And at times he may postpone his results(work) towards the employee,find faults so as to meet again and again.He may not like the girl speaking with other colleagues.So he calls her immediately fire her,ask to do the same tasks again and again.So this is what going on.

i repeat your words
It is also possible that you being a super performer are still not able to win his heart. Now comes the astrology part... may be both of you are not compatible.

This is also possible.But very rare.

Also it is possible there is someone in the office who is feeding him with negative information about you and your total behavior in the office, the kind of friends you have, the jokes you crack during lunch time, how much you bitch about him etc….. This reason ranks second.Out of ten employees there will be atleast one saguni character (mahabharatam).

I appreciate your steps and involvement taken towards this issue.
I think this thread is already nominated.Nice thread for nomination.

 

Wow!
I loved this article. Today I finally gathered enough patience to read though whole post. It is amazign to see how your turned the tide in your favour.

On lighter note who is this big shot you transformed? :queen

 

who said performance matters most in promotion or hikes for men as well women.. its the least thing.there are many other factors that play an imp role. These days companies are run like political parties.

I don't know when will women understand. Never ever depend on anybody for getting your work done In office. If you try to observe industries like PR and advertising.. you will get shocked.its the way corporate world is we cant change it.The world/ corporate world doesn't owe you fairness. move on...