Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Dec 9, 2019.
Glad to know that my post brought you about rab ne bana di jodi. Thanks for the video
Very true bro
True dear 'you should have some to walk with
You have explained very well Jayakka, I agree with you
Glad you liked my post and to know that though you both are south and north poles you have pulled for forty six years. We have also completed forty six years. We have also differences but from the time we are married I have always adjusted and lived the way he wants, which has made him love me more and we are there for each other in old age. But today's youngsters are not like us and they are not able to adjust.
Well written Viji Aunty! Let me put my point of view.
Happiness is the goal everyone strives for, but it is not a thing that everyone gets! The so-called successes in life, say, a lavish apartment, a fat salary, a limousine or whatever traits that a common man relates to it, do not necessarily translate into happiness. Happiness is actually a state of mind that -- I will not say that it has nothing to do with -- is not an exclusive function of the so-called successes in life. For example, I have a friend who owns a 500 million dollar house in the USA, but still, seems to be very unhappy.
However, I am not a God-fearing man, and I believe that surrendering to the fate, attributing it to the will of the God, is nothing but escapism. The woman, if she believes in herself and works hard, can change her destiny, at least, up to some extent.
I agree with you that adjustment is an essential ingredient of sustainability for a successful marriage. However, nowadays the young generation, especially when the female is earning and her parents have her back, is lacking that skill. The result is that the divorce rate has increased manifold, and the disgruntled female rues the decision for the rest of her life, and finally takes refuge in the IL, soliciting others to tread her path.
Believing is God helps to relieve tension. So, it's not bad if one does her part whole-heartedly, and leaves the result to the will of the God.
Hello behenji cum guruji - @iyerviji
Here I go with my appreciation of your statements underscoring the importance of adjustments needed in life & the bestowal of seniors (read parents) blessings to have ( married) life on even keel.
2. God brings us to this world for some purpose .
After bringing life upon this world, he determines the partner and destines them to function as a team. That’s why it is believed “wedlock’s are planned in heaven”.
3. Everyone has some positive and negative .
It is true. Nurturing & geography determines one’s quantum of negatives and positive virtues.
4. It is difficult to be perfect. Lot of adjustment is necessary in life to lead a happy life.
Quite true. Perfection needs grit, determination, perseverance coupled with bit of ambition is a must as in music. But life is music played in wide range of consonance and dissonance that in determines harmony or disharmony. Many of successful couple would vouchsafed for it. They succeeded after making enormous adjustments. Nearer home living examples are Suda Moorthy (Infosys). Also, throughout one’s wedded life, adjustments need to be done with arrival of babies, babas, SILs, MIL, FIL, DILs & BILs + their kith and kin sometimes.
5. We need God's and elder's blessings for everything in life. I am blessed that I lead a happy life in old age because of God and elder's blessings.
You are right. I agree in toto. This realisation in many come only after attaining certain level of age and or maturity and doesn’t come with ease. Elders owe their happiness due to their elders who taught them in their teens positive values and the benefits of learning give and take in life. Adversities provided by God only to teach and imbibe better values and that to be treated as blessing of Almighty.
6. When you come up in life after struggling in the beginning then only you understand the value of life.
So that clearly states the benefits of struggling early in life to make us near perfect in the long run.
7. I was taught to adjust in life , so I am following that in my life. I had the privilege of taking care of my mother, father and grandmother in their last days because of which I got ther blessings and they are always with me guiding me and showing the right path.
This proves the dictum that deed whatever done (in good or bad time) comes back to the doer. Good deed comes back do the doer in the form of blessings. Your conviction is solid good.
8. I also wonder about life. In my opinion I feel it is in our hands to make our married life peaceful and enjoyable.
Majority of population wonders what to do in life with “why to me?” thoughts but few realises that they are the architect of their future and certainly not someone from outside.
9. God makes the jodis , some are not happy with their better half and how much they try to change them it is difficult.
It is believed, if one take a positive step toward Life (God) - Life (God) would take at least ten +steps toward him or her. But in cases where Jodi’s take a step away from each other, what The Almighty can do about them?
10. If we are lucky and are able to adjust and forgive them for what we dont like in them then we can lead a peaceful life.
But it is not easy when the individuals are loaded with egos. Lucky is the word!
11. It is difficult to get a perfect partner but we can try to change them and if not possible we should change ourselves.
True. Divorce is only exceptional route and not necessarily the only route.
12. In many things me and my husband are different but I have tried to adjust with him in the way he wants . He is very loving and caring though he is short tempered but that is only for a short time and he will forget about it as if nothing happened and once I asked him also why he gets angry sometimes for which he will say when I am angry how can I stop myself.
Suppressed anger is catastrophic to health and once anger generated, clinically it is better to release it. Matured ones artfully release their anger in measured doses so that the impact is truly gently felt but not fatal to any! To Control and manage the anger itself is a terrific science. I am happy for mr. Iyer & you.
13. I think you must have read my thread May be we are different from each other but we complete each other.
Yes - I do. It is complete with each . I agree. Not compete!
14. In present age it has become difficult for old age people to lead their life.
It looks, technology, Higher education, dislocated families, break up of joint family system, geographically dislocated families - one or a combination of all these all have contributed to difficulties for majority of elders in all walks of life. I wish I could be wrong with this averment.
15. The interest on investments have become less. So accordingly we have to live .
Quite true. With reduction in interest rate and the continuously peaking inflation in our Nation, pose grave situations for those old people whose livelihood much depends on returns on their investment.
With skeletons out of cupboards, the way Realestate, share brokers, finance companies, banks in the preceding months have had been cheating the public, only safe avenue in India for investment seems to be post office saving schemes.
16. My husband is very economic and spends only when it is very necessary. Thats why we are able to live a simple life .
Touchwood. You both believe in simple living and high thinking which gives you wonderful life.
17. If we have faith in God he will help us in need. I have had many experiences where God helped me .
My spouse & I too experienced numerous times helping hand of God when we were in dire straits.
Recently, IT WAS REALISED IN LATE NIGHT at hotel THAT original AADHAAR Card misplaced And in the absence of any other original ID, morning she may not be permitted by security to enter the MANGALURU airport. Since phone number not linked downloading it was not feasible.
My son in law suggested my daughter to stay back with mom and return by train by booking thathkal. I and son in law would proceed by flight. She & I began praying to Shirdi Saradambal & Kollur Mugambigai that we should not be separated thus. However son in law went down to reception and returned after an hour with a colour print of spouse Aadhaar slightly larfpger than original. He said he went to his suit and found xerox of spouse Aadhaar in daughte’s Backpack.
We continued with our prayer through car travel from Udipi to mangalore airport.
The security at the gate checked and found Aadhaar produced for spouse not original. We told our plight and considering our age, he permitted us to enter airport. As I entered, I could not arrest my continuous sobbing; seeing me from a distance family and another security scared and rushed to me to help. When I told them calmly it was all out of joy they could not believe it.
So I concluded, it was succour from Goddesses.
18. If we have God and elder's blessings then our life will be peaceful and enjoyable. It is in our hands.
Yes it is. Matha Pitha Guru Deivam.
GOD IS VISIBLE IN COMMUNION
Thanks for sharing your view. I agree with you , you have nicely written
Thanks for your detailed feedback
Thank you for sharing your views