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Handling Male Ego After Fight

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mirrorimage, Aug 6, 2021.

  1. mirrorimage

    mirrorimage Silver IL'ite

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    how do you handle male ego after a fight?
    husband fought and shouted at me- for something which he dint listen thinking i was blaming him.
    he always turns arrogant and shouts and does not involve in any healthy discussions
    and then gets trapped in his ego- I have to give up my self respect- there is no word of sorry or anything - i wait for him to get normal and atleast realize his mistake- (which he never does or asks sorry) finally- I have to go cajole and be the first one to initiate the hug to get back to normal and the his behavior forgotten ....but atleast it runs in my mind if somethinng similar happens again i go into full depressioon thinking there is no one tto understand.

    (his fatther has always abused his mother verbally--for everythinng--- i am sure thoose influences are there- I dont know to what extent i should tolerate )
    Though i ttry too become nnormal and initiate everything to normalcy from my end just foor the peace of it....but i feel drained doing so-- i feel its so unfair in life--
     
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  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    You justify his behavior, by saying that he had had childhood training:
    What about your early childhood training? Did your daddy "abuse your mummy verbally for everything"? Why not? Either your daddy came well-designed to be peaceful, or your mummy had the techniques to nip it in the bud, so that there were no quarrels at home.

    Some might say, each couple is different.... they go through the adjustment-phase, when each get a chance to straighten out the other and get them closer to the specifications desired. Some are more successful than others. When this training phase is frittered away in useless things, people get stuck in a morass from which there is no easy recovery.

    As for "I dont know to what extent i should tolerate", the extent has a border-post, where you would be able to say "snap out of it" to your abusive spouse. For that you need to work-out, go through physical training, and ready yourself to do that [The actress got an Oscar for doing that]:





    For an alternate point of view... check out the following URL; just replace the chapter number in the URL below to see other chapters: http://ncw.nic.in/sites/default/files/Chapter04.pdf
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2021
    dhara18 likes this.
  3. dhara18

    dhara18 Senior IL'ite

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    True , he is grown adult.. we all learn with passing year and it's ultimately our own choice how we want to behave with others. And respect should be mutual in relationship not based on gender.
     
  4. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    My suggestion is just be silent and walk away from the situation,,when there is no use by arguing with him then it’s better to be silent and do your work ..ignore him then he wil be silent after a while and there is no need to stress your self..you can’t change there attitude,if you hit there ego they wil kick it back to you only,because mostly those type of people never be ready to accept the truth and to think of reality,they just want to prove they are right now they want to close the opponent mouth by shouting or by throwing the things …
    Better be silent with that type of persons ,never expects a sorry from them..
     
  5. Patientone

    Patientone Silver IL'ite

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    How about give him a good few taunts in a jokey way when he’s jolly and happy. Most men are like this.
     

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