1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind. 2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life... (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you. 3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me .. 4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again. 5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike! 6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise. 7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was? 8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often . 9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep. 10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but wonder..... (Inside card) - What the hell was I thinking 11. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here. 12. Thank you for being part of my life..... (Inside card) - I never knew what evil was until I met you! 13. Congratulations on your wedding day! (Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband. 14. How can I say this.... (Inside card) - Your cooking kills me 15. Hooray..... (Inside card) - You're divorced. 16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened... (Inside card) - Especially since you survived. 17. Congrats on getting married... (Inside card) - It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life. 18. Someday I hope to marry... (inside card) - Someone other than you. 19. We have been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop? " No question is stupid ... but, possibly the answers are!"