haaa haaa haaa

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by chatkara_tasty, Jun 19, 2006.

  1. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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    some forward jokes --

    Once there was a competition held that one who can stay in a room with a pig for 20 days will be awarded Rs 15 lakhs. So 1st the pilot went to stay with him but after 2 days he came out saying I can't stay there.
    Then an astrologer went he stayed there for 5 days and then came out saying I cant stay there.
    Now Sardarji went in there and stayed there for 5, 6, 7, 8,9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 days.On the 15th day when the people out of the room were very excited to meet sardarji, the pig came out saying I cant stay there.

    One night Sardarji was walking alone in the street when a robber jumped on him and said, ``Give me all your money`
    `Sardarji started fighting back and the fight lasted for excatly 2 hours!!
    Then finaly the robber caught Sardarji and took a grip on him and searched his pockets and only found 25 paise!
    The robber asked Sardarji that why did he fight with him for 2 hours only for 25 paise?
    And Sardarji 's reply was``Oh!I thought you were after my 300 rupees in my shoe!!!

    Once a man saw Santa digging a hole and Banta filling it.He got confused and went to ask them.
    Man:Why are you doing so?
    Santa :We are 3 people Santa,Banta & Tanta.
    My work is to dig the hole, Tanta's work is to plant a seed and Banta's work is to fill the hole.Today Tanta has taken a leave so why should we stop our work.

    Question:What is the fullform of maths.
    Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

    Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
    Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

    Once an american teacher was teaching in a class.She announced that she was an American and asked who else in the class were Americans.Not knowing what it meant but wanting to be like the teacher everyone raised their hands except one girl called Gita.
    The teacher asked" If you are not an American ,who are you?
    The little girl answered "I am a proud indian."
    The teacher got a bit angry and asked "Why are you an indian"
    The girl answered "My mother and father are both indians so I am also an indian"
    The teacher ,now very angry, told"If your mother and father both are idiots , what would you be?"
    The girl , with a smile replied "I would be an american

    Teacher:Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
    Student:A holiday

    Once a Brahmin hired a boatman for crossing Ganga river.On the way he asked the boatman that have you read Ramayan.
    The boatman says "no".He says then 25% of your life has been wasted.
    In the same way he asked the boatman that have u read Mahabharta.
    He again says "no".The brahmin once again says that ur 50% of your life has been wasted.
    He again shows a book & asks have u read this one.He again replies "no".
    The brahmin says your 75% of life has been wasted.
    Then the boat man asks the brahmin do u know swimming?The brahmin says "no".
    The boatman says ur whole life has been wasted as a hole has been found in the boat.

    Once a dog was following Santa. Seeing the dog following him Santa began to laugh hilariously. A man passing by asked him why was he laughing? Santa replied "I have an airtel connection then too the hutch network is following me!"

    <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="98%" border=0><TD width="66%"><TD align=middle width="34%"><TD width="66%">[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Why did Santa take his pregnant wife to pizza hut?
    Because he wanted free dilevery.

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The whole world is riding in a ship. God stops the ship and says "Give me three sacrifices and I shall let you go or else you all die". The american tells "Long live America " and jumps over board. The japanese tells "Long live japan " and jumps over board. There is a long wait and no one else is ready to sacrifice themselves . God becomes impatient. Suddenly there is a cry from an Indian "Bharath matha ki jai" and pushes the pakistani over board as the third sacrifice.[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Why is the elephant scared of the computer? Because of the mouse.[/FONT]

    Santa and Banta driving on a street,in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. They were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
    Before Santa could say anything, Banta said, "Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don`t we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive?"
    Santa said, "Yeah, good idea!"
    "I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don`t I pull that out?",suggested Banta. He went around, and luckily the bottle was not damaged in the accident.
    He gave it to Santa and said, "Here, drink some!"
    Santa took the bottle and chugged half of it down. Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over to Banta.
    "Here, you have some!"
    Banta passed it back and said, "No, I think I`ll wait until the police get here."

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]:clap :clap :clap [/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]

    Last edited: Jun 19, 2006

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