1. Santa singh comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine" He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement" 2. Santa singh bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" The Santa singh got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" 5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy? Banta to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya, Banta: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao. . Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!! 9 . Santa with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610" 10 . Santa falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER." 11. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..? Santa ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays. 12. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!! 13 . Santa's Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab . Santa: Why are you praying for that? Santa's Son: That is what I have written in my exam. Santa is buying a TV. "Do you have colour TVs?" "Sure." "Give me a green one, please." ********************** Banta calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?" "Just a sec," says the rep. "Thank you." says Banta and hangs up. ********************** Our Santa was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote:Yes ********************** Santa proposes to a woman. She says; yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and again barefoot!" ********************** A Santa goes into a store and sees a shining object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The Santa then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The Santa says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His Santa's boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke." ********************** Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?" That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy at this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????" ********************** Why did 18 Sardarjis go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed. ********************** What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth. ********************** How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday. ********************** hat do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-Beer Singh ('T' silent!). ********************** What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh. ********************** Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken. ********************** Once santa singh was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly he screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else" ********************** Banta singh is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Banta says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Banta figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Banta is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock."Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder." ********************** Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back." ********************** Santa Singh( a Sardar from Jalandhar.. they are the one who smoke, despite the religious ban) tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket. "What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" "That's a good match. I'll use it again." ************************** Banta sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why're the guys doing what they're doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on Sardar: What do they get from that? Bystander : The winner will get a prize Sardar : Then why are the others running?! ************************************************** ************ Banta came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in Burma bazaar. His Tamilian friend told him that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Banta went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which Sardar told no, no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500 Rs. for which Sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost."Our Sardar asked whether he will give two." ********************** Banta buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Banta says, "I want my $20 million."The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years." Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. Banta, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!" ********************** Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied. The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger. ********************** After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Sngh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South INdian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa Singh called the TTE and asked him to help. TTE requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santha Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife not giving berth to my child". ********************** A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says "Hello, how did you know I was here?" ********************** How many Sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping? Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note. ********************** Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge? They're there for those who don't drink. ********************** Sardar,a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the seat, and the Sardar took the door. After a while of walking the British asked the Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, can drink the fluid." Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?" So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door.The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window." ********************* Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"? He didn't know which "one" came first...<!-- google_ad_section_end --> Santa: They were 4 best friends..! 6. Banta to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya, Banta: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
