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Guys dont reply to ladies personal thread

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Happy016, Jan 14, 2014.

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  1. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    What, and get involved in a long, protracted, pointless, fake, "who, innocent old me... why you misunderstood.. I was just trying to help... my humblest apologies... [bow, scrape, kiss feet]" kind of discussion? No, thank you. I have no tolerance for insincerity, which is what brought on this rant in the first place.

    So, this is my point. When I am interacting with a serious poster who is here for the right reasons, I enjoy even our disagreements (I like stimulating debate with intellectual equals). But what is going on here lately (and I'm not even considering unsolicited, creepy PMs, which is a whole other unsavoury part of IL that is off-putting) is not about WHAT they are saying. It is about the intentions behind their "opinions" - the WHY of it all.

    To use other people's hardships or genuine problems as entertainment is surely the sign of a unhealthy mind, and a malfunctioning heart.
     
  2. zales

    zales Silver IL'ite

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    Wont happen if you forward the message as is to the mod and paste the same here in the thread. I like to give people benefit of doubt, but that's just me. Also, whether or not one wants to join a debate is a choice.
     
    Quebec likes this.
  3. my2angels

    my2angels Silver IL'ite

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    Dear M'am Ansuya

    Males present their view point. It necessarily doesn't have to be compassionate always. What I have seen here is that if a male gives an advice or suggestion that is different from the majority, his post is quoted and he is then cornered.

    This is and always be Indus Ladies. Maybe this site gives a way for females to get back to males in their own way.

    It has happened to me before and I don't expect this to change anytime soon. I also wish to be compassionate to the problems of OP or rather any OP in married section, but we have to see the other side of the coin as well. I for one put myself in the other person's shoes and check and analyze every avenue possible before i blurt out something in my post. Many times it has been perceived differently by IL members. But now I have taken a different approach. I will advice or suggest and pen down my views. It is at the discretion of the OP what she/he wants to do. What we give OP here is a bucket of solutions so that he/she can pick the best one for the problem and go with it.

    More than 7 billion people in this world and 7 billion different ways people can think. So no 2 people will think alike. My wife always says this " All fingers are not alike" but then I taunt her back " If all fingers are not alike how do you say all husbands are the same" :)

    I have nothing against you or any other member here on IL. But there will always be different of opiniom in a public forum like this.

    Maybe I diverted this thread a little bit so my apologies for that.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2014
  4. darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Trying to say, "Look ! I am not that culprit you guys are talking about". That is why you can see all active male members posting here , in their own defence ! :)
     
  5. darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    One simple point is worth mentioning here :

    Go to 'User CP'. Click on the downward arrow in it. 7 options will open down.

    Among them click on 'Edit Profile'.

    Once 'Edit Profile' opens, you will see on the left hand side of the screen, thee things, "My Messages", "My Subscriptions" and "My settings".

    Go to "My setting". Under this you will see an option called, "General Settings".

    Click on "General Settings". After this page opens, you will see "Login & Privacy", "Messaging & Notification" , "Private Messaging" , etc.

    In that , go to "Messaging & Notification", click on 'Receive emails from Administrators' and unclick on 'Receive Friendship Request Email'

    Then, in the same page, go down to 'Private Messaging'.

    In that , go to the option, 'Receive Private Messaging'. You will see two options. Among them, click on 'Only from Contacts and Moderators" and unclick on "From All Members"

    Then, go to the down bottom of the page and click on 'Save Changes'.

    Wait for the message, that the changes in settings have been saved.

    Now onwards, No one can send Private Message to you, except Moderators and Administrators. And no one can send you any 'Friendship Request' also.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2014
  6. darmesh

    darmesh Platinum IL'ite

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    The above technical way to block 'Friendship Requests' and 'Private Messages' is a unique feature of this website.

    This safety is not available in Facebook also.

    When such a wonderful safety means is available in this website, I think, members should make use of the same.
     
    kaniths and Induslady like this.
  7. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    well,in this argument about Male posters OP 's request is being lost...........

    I would support her on TTC,gynae matters but not on EMA & others.......

    we do need male perspective but not on the sort of pads we should buy or diet we should take to increase chances of ovulation.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Not true.
    I have a more nuanced point of view regarding IL and men on IL, but one that I have expressed previously with some vigor - so need for a rehash here.
     
    vaidehi71 likes this.
  9. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Fair request, especially in the context of Indian socio-cultural sensibilities.
    Having just accepted a strong recommendation from my current primary care physician for a female doc as his replacement for her training & technical ability, even here, I take a 'we are all adults' approach and would consider style & content before rushing to judgment, but this is not a view I would want to impose on others. I can see that mere response, even if purely technical, may be viewed a prurient.
     
    vaidehi71 likes this.
  10. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Darmesh: I think you have very faulty reasoning if you believe that women who are on a women's site and being stalked/abused by some male member of the site have to cut off all ability of other women on same site to contact them. Isn't the reason women come here that they enjoy the community of women? Another case of isolating women in order that men can abuse freely. Sorry....don't agree!!!
     
    shruthisp, bhuvnidhi, lucky2 and 6 others like this.
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