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Guy Not Ready To Take The Call. I Am Afraid Need Advice.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by nolife, Nov 11, 2020.

  1. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,
    I am divorced and seeking for match. For the fist time I came across this situation. My parents had a talk with his parents and we both exchanged each others numbers. The guy did not ping me initially, I waited for 3 days and due to lack of matches I have pinged him om whats app.. I told to let us have a call and see how it goes. He told me that we can have calls once we feel comfortable with chat . I personally do not wish to waste my time on chats as we both are already 35 and not in 20's. Is it natural? . I am getting thoughts that it is not him chatting with me though the chats are as pee current generation. Its been a week and no call from him yet and I am not chatting way too much though. Please advice . Is this natural?
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2020
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  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    I think what you're saying is quite justified...i would say, first have voice calls...and then when both are comfortable you two can interact by video calls, like whatsapp and Skype...I see a lack of interest here ..some people feel more comfortable with chatting, some dont like pinging that much unless it's for reminders and prefer calling...
     
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  3. netflx

    netflx Gold IL'ite

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    He is not interested in you. So, let it go and don't push it.
     
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  4. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Yes true that but atleast once he did not call me but actively chatting out.
     
  5. sneha1985

    sneha1985 Gold IL'ite

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    @nolife - On my profile, I have clearly mentioned that my preferred mode of communication is call or meeting in person and if anyone is only interested in chatting, then the communication won't move further. After this, the number of interests I am getting is drastically reduced, but for good since I only get interests from people who are ready to talk. Sometimes I do come across guys who don't read complete profile and still keep texting, but I remind them on text to talk over the phone and if they still don't call, I don't communicate after that.

    Obviously every thing has it's own pros and cons. Sometimes it gives an impression that I want to start meeting the guy soon and that am ready to get married in a month or two. I had to tell guys that I want to talk and meet for 3-4 months to know each other better before taking the decision.

    From my personal experience, if I guy is not ready to communicate, that does indicate they are not interested and I would let it go. They can come back later when they are interested in communicating properly.
     
  6. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you.. Today I told him clearly to call up if interested.

     
  7. Brevity

    Brevity Gold IL'ite

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    If someone wishes to communicate via chat, you need to give it a chance even if it is not your preferred method of communication. Chats are less intrusive and it gives people especially introverted people a safe environment and also some time to think and respond. Chats need not be non-productive. But even idle chit chat can be very revealing of true personalities. A week or 2 of chatting and later move on to calls once he is comfortable. I think you might be denying yourself the opportunity to meet a few good men by being strict about phone calls only.
     
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  8. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    We did speak , the call lasted for 3 hours and I told him to meet or call 2-3 times more if he has any doubts. I am however not keen on talking for long hours and give my life biography. It more or less went like a HR call from his end which i did not feel happy about or enjoy. Seems very judgmental too. Though we all judge in marriage market, this was going out of bounds. I am not sure , I might e wrong but he told me that he has been talking to another girl who has been doing constant video calls.
     
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  9. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    HR call ? Like ..."how do you see yourself in 5 years ?"...
    That is sad. It does show a lack of social grace. You need to see him on whatsapp video also.
    Good luck.
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello::hello:It could be a strategy to keep you Wanting & waiting. In the meanwhile he could have masqueraded in the vicinity if is not afar. Even som engage services of detective(s).
    2. Even I shall not be surprised or bewildered if he too contemplating similar move from the other End!
    3. Life is like that!

    God bless you the soonest.
    Regards with seasons greetings.
     

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