Guilty, My Lord!

Rihana · Mar 22, 2021

HariLakhera said: ↑

Asking for forgiveness is never wrong.
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If:
Offender = wrongdoer (Bob - bad boy)
Offendee = the one who was wronged (John - good boy)

Asking for forgiveness can be wrong if John is unaware of the wrong and not effected by it.

The person asking for forgiveness is only unburdening himself. The other person may or may not forget but asking for it is the only thing a person can do for anything done wrong.
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Depends on whether John knows about the wrong or not. Sometimes, saving John from knowing about the wrong is a greater kindness than seeking his forgiveness.

It boils down to, which is more important:
Bob unburdening himself
OR
John being spared of knowing that he was wronged.

GregoriaBoul · Mar 22, 2021

This is an interesting read. What a great forum.

HariLakhera · Mar 23, 2021

Rihana said: ↑

If:
Offender = wrongdoer (Bob - bad boy)
Offendee = the one who was wronged (John - good boy)

Asking for forgiveness can be wrong if John is unaware of the wrong and not effected by it.

Depends on whether John knows about the wrong or not. Sometimes, saving John from knowing about the wrong is a greater kindness than seeking his forgiveness.

It boils down to, which is more important:
Bob unburdening himself
OR
John being spared of knowing that he was wronged.
Click to expand...

Each coin has two sides. There is a very good chance that John would take it sportingly and not get offended and say- never mind my friend, in your place I would have thought in the same way, just forget about it, we are still friends.
There is equally good chance that John may say -how the hell you could have such a nasty thought about me? Get lost.
How would Bob know what will be the reaction of John unless he tells him?
In my opinion, it is always better to express our feelings honestly with due courtesy and respect and leave rest to the better judgement of others particularly when we are the major player. There is no point in fighting with 'ifs' and 'buts'.

satchitananda · Mar 29, 2021

I can well imagine your guilt. But does this not happen to all of us at some time or the other? On the other hand I could not help thinking of the fact that two total strangers shared a hotel room. How often would that happen today. I still remember how fellow travellers used to share food, personal stories and spend the few hours on the train pleasantly together. Today we are warned not to accept food from others. So much for trust.

As kids, people used to come forward and pull our cheeks, play with us and go their way. Today can we even think of going up to a kid we find cute and playing with him/her? We are not 'trustworthy' in the eyes of the parents, and with good reason, of course.

Even today, if something goes missing at home, who do we first suspect? The answer is self evident and the guilt on finding the object again is the same as in your situation, I guess.

HariLakhera · Mar 30, 2021

satchitananda said: ↑

I can well imagine your guilt. But does this not happen to all of us at some time or the other? On the other hand I could not help thinking of the fact that two total strangers shared a hotel room. How often would that happen today. I still remember how fellow travellers used to share food, personal stories and spend the few hours on the train pleasantly together. Today we are warned not to accept food from others. So much for trust.

As kids, people used to come forward and pull our cheeks, play with us and go their way. Today can we even think of going up to a kid we find cute and playing with him/her? We are not 'trustworthy' in the eyes of the parents, and with good reason, of course.

Even today, if something goes missing at home, who do we first suspect? The answer is self evident and the guilt on finding the object again is the same as in your situation, I guess.
Click to expand...

Absolutely. Forget about room sharing, today, we may not even trust a stranger to have an eye on our things while taking a nap in a train or bus journey which was quite common in those days. But it just happened. Sometimes we develop a liking and start trusting people.