Gowri

Chapter 6

Now I was 8 years old, and visiting for holidays, I went with my cousins to see Gowri Amma in her room. She lay there and when I called her she let out a cry. She was lying down and had covered herself with a blanket.

I asked her “Gowri Amma what happened to you, where is your rope” she covered her face and never replied.

After lunch when I was sitting with my cousin Navya Akka on the door step and we were playing with pebbles to see who throws the farthest. We were giggling and screaming as she was always winning and I could not accept defeat. When we were tired and sat down, I asked “Navya Akka Why is Gowri Amma like that. She never spoke or looked at me. She covered her face with the blanket the minute I called her and she cried”

Navya Akka said “We are not to talk about it to anyone. If I tell you, promise that you will not tell anyone”

I said “promise Akka, I will not tell anyone, please tell me”

Navya Akka “Sure you won’t tell anyone”

Me “Sure Akka, please tell me”

My Navya Akka said “you already know that Gowri Amma is mad”

Me. “yes Akka, we all know that”

Navya Akka, “You know everyone wants her to become alright. So about a month ago, they brought in a poojari. Ayah said he is here to cure Gowri Amma. They did a big Pooja and it started in the afternoon and went on and on. I felt so sleepy and bored sitting there. All the kids were bored. Gowri Amma was made to sit there in the middle. I think she was scared as she kept screaming and trying to get up. All our aunties held her tight, so she couldn’t run away. She even tried to bite my mother’s hand. After the pooja this Priest took out a hot rod from the fire and burnt her leg. They let her go and she ran screaming to her room. The Poojari said in about a week’s time she will be alright. Gowri Amma kept crying all night. For 3 days she never came out of that room.”

I was terrified by this and said “Ayoo poor Gowri Amma”

Navya Akka said said “Yes it was very sad, after 3 days she was limping so badly and still crying. My mom went to give her food and saw that the burn injury was festering and she was running high fever, then thatha called the doctor and he gave her medicines. But Gowri Amma is so scared that she never comes out of her room. They give her food in her room.”



Chapter 7

Then when I was 10, it was as usual during my holidays. But now our games had grown more mature. We were let off without any adult supervision. All my cousins were of the same age group. We would sit around talking and giggling. Our favorite sport was to make my Ayah angry. It would be stifling hot during the summer. My Ayah had a big clay pot kept outside the house. She would wash it every morning and fill it with buttermilk for any passerby that was thirsty. Every afternoon we would all go to the pot and drink this buttermilk though there would be separate buttermilk for us inside. My Ayah would shout at us and come with a stick to beat us. We would all run in different directions.

In the evening we were all made to sit on a mat and served food.

My aunts always said “You girls must not sit like this and eat. You should first serve others and then eat”

After eating we had to clean the plates and sweep and mop the place where we had all eaten. The boys were let off from this.

The boys would make fun of us and imitate our aunt and tell us to clean properly. We would chase them away and run after them with the broom.

All the houses in the village were open to us as everyone knew one another. On one of these days my Mom took me to our relatives house close by. Like I said we had no boundaries. We could wander into anyone’s house. We could go anywhere we pleased and we spoke to everyone in the house. We ate the sweets that they gave us and if it was lunch time we ate there.

In this house, my Mom walked into the kitchen to talk to someone. I wandered around to search for my friends. It was there above the door of the bedroom that I saw a photo of Gowri Amma with my Ganesan Thatha. It took me a while to recognize her as she was so beautiful and young. I never knew she was married to him.

I asked my Grandmother there. Not my Ayah but this was another person who we referred to as Grandma “Ayah how come Gowri Amma is with Ganesan Thatha in that photo”

My Ayah looked sadly at that photo and said “how do I tell you this. Gowri is my daughter; she was a very beautiful girl. We got her married to that Ganesan and sent her to live in your house. I don’t know what they did, she became like this”

Just as she completed this my mother came and said “Amma don’t you know what to tell a child”

Ayah replied “How many years can we keep it a secret, one day or the other she will know about it. What did I say wrong. I only said she was married to Ganesan and I don’t know what happened. Why make a scene about it.”

Mother “OK Ok, enough, if I had not come in time you would have told her what happened next, no one should ask you about Gowri and you will tell the world that we did something to her. You never admit that she was mad before you got her married”

Ayah ” Enough, enough, don’t I know my Gowri Kutty. I know how she was when she got married. That Ganesan could not take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful. Who knows who in your family did black magic to her, she is like this today”

Me in a very soft voice “Ayah, what is black magic”

My mother “you are still standing here. Now run off before I take a stick and beat you. Listening to gossip. Go run home”

Ayah “Why are you shouting at that little girl. If you are angry with me fight with me, don’t show it on the little one”

I ran back home. I was scared of getting beaten.

TO BE CONTINUED......

 

Chapter 8

When I went home I saw all my cousins huddled in the corner of the corridor.

When they saw me they asked “Hey Ani, where did you go, we are waiting to play lagori.”

I was happy and we selected the team, ran around looking for stones and started playing. The visit to the other house was forgotten.

As we finished and panting I came into the house and bumped into Ganesan Thatha.

I told him all excited “Thatha today I saw your photo in Grandmoms house. You were with Gowri Amma. Ayah told me you are her husband? “

Ganesan Thatha looked at me and said “Yes, I married her and after that she became the mad women she is now”

Me: “Then Thatha who is Ayah. How did you marry her?”

Ganesan Thatha “Can you live with a mad women? so I married Ayah. That is how your mother was born”

Me “But can you have 2 wives?”

Ganesan Thatha laughed and said “See who is questioning me, you are too small to understand this. As you grow you will know”

Having said this, he called my mother to take me away.


Chapter 9

Age 10 -16

By this time I knew the devil beating Gowri Amma was just a story to scare the kids.

It was all fun and games only till we turned 10, after this we get busy with our studies as we got to middle and high school. When I was 10 years old, my brother was in the 9th standard. My Dad wanted him to go to IIT. Dad worked very hard to educate us. He was an accountant and after office hours and in the early mornings he worked two other jobs to make extra cash to save up and send my brother to college. There was no talk of what I was going to do. My education was not so important. Their thinking was - Is a girl going to work and support a family, so there is no need to give so much importance. That was the logic for most parents

It was during these holidays that my brother went to a tutor for Math. This was for 2 hours from 10 Am to 12 noon. He had a break from his tuition only for 2 weeks before school started and that is when we would go to visit my relatives in the village. I was bored out of my mind. I missed all the fun in the village. Playing with my friends in my neighborhood was not like playing with my cousins in the village.

Sometimes I would go to my mom and say “Amma, I am so bored”

My mother “How can a small girl like you be bored. Take the broom and sweep the house”

I was being trained to do household chores, which I did even without her telling me.

The next time I tell her “Amma bored “

My Mom “why don’t you take your next year books and study”

The next time it will be “why not you go and learn some embroidery or tailoring from our neighbour, it is a good hobby”.

So I stopped telling her I was bored.

I would go to the library nearby borrow comics and books like Enid Blyton, Nancy drew. These kept me occupied and entertained.

I would not say we never went to our village, but the visits were shorter. Some of my cousins who were my brother’s age were also pursuing higher education and were going to coaching classes in other big towns. They would leave in the morning and come back only late in the evenings.

So the girls were left to our games and chatter. I would still go and peep into Gowri Ammas room. I could see that she was getting more distressed. Now a day she kept talking to herself. She had a big sloka book by her side and kept reading loudly nonstop. She would sometimes laugh out loud or cry.

But in most of these short visits I was preoccupied with visits to various houses and talks with my cousins and gossiping that I really did not bother asking about Gowri Amma or even going to see her. I sometimes would peep into her room while walking out through the back door. As I grew older the fun object that was Gowri Amma was lost to me.


TO BE CONTINUED....

 

Chaper 10

I came of age when I was 14. They kept me isolated at home for 14 days. My mother went to school to inform my principal. Everyone in the village was informed too. Some of my Aunts came to visit. It was a function of a small scale at home. I was made to drink horrible concoctions and everyday a grand lunch was made, because we had so many visitors. My mom was the busiest person.

My Dad said we would have the function in our village during the summer holidays as my brother could not miss his school.

I moved with the tide, though I hated this show. I kept telling myself that it happens to every girl “what’s the big deal”.

My Uncles and Aunts made all the preparation for the function. A hall was arranged and invitations were printed and distributed. My Mom and I went 2 weeks in advance. This was the first time we went without the escort of my dad. Jewellery was purchased and my Ayah gave me a thick gold chain. A new long skirt and davani was purchased. It was completely in gold colour. I hated it so much, but my cousins said it was the latest fashion. My Dad and brother arrived 2 days before the function.

It was a grand affair. My hair was braided with flowers in them. I had mehendi applied the previous day. I was decked with jewelry and made to sit on a chair that looked like a peacock. It looked like the entire village had come for the function.

Everyone who came had one proposal or the other for me. Some stood on the side and said that person has a son and he will be suitable, such and such, despite knowing it was illegal for a girl of 14 to get married They had no qualms making fun and finding a match.

When a young lad came on the stage for whatever reason, all my aunts jeered me and said “perfect match, so you have come to lure her is it?” I was very embarrassed by all this.

After the function with overflowing jasmines in my head and all the jewelry, I was passing by Gowri Ammas room and saw her curled up in her bed. I went in and sat on her bed. I had a sweet in my hand and said “Gowri Amma, why did you not come for the function, here take this sweet. I brought it for you. You should have at least come and had the grand food”

Gowri Amma looked at me and said “Go away, Go away, did they get you married” and she grabbed my head and pulled out the jasmines. I screamed and my cousins came with my aunts and let me out of her clasp. I had a few scratches in my neck from all the pulling. Gowri Amma kept saying “don’t believe anyone, did you get married”

I was totally confused.


Chapter 11

The next two years I was in higher secondary and my brother had managed to get into IIT. I had to work hard to get good marks. So even during the short stay at my village, I had to take my books to do my holiday homework. My cousins were equally busy. They had to argue with their parents to study further. This village had no college and they had to go to a bigger town and stay in the hostel to graduate. If they did not get good marks, then their parents would consider it a waste of time and get them married.

During this time, Gowri Amma would smell. No one went near her room. Then I asked my aunty

“Aunty what is that smell in Gowri Ammas room”

My aunt “she never has a bath, she has been wearing that same saree for a week now. Wait and see, tomorrow is her bath day, see how she cries like a small baby to bathe”

Yes indeed the next day, when her bath was drawn and my aunties called her, she refused to come out. Two women had to drag her out of the room. One of them hit her hard once or twice. Gowri Amma made a huge scene to remove her clothes and finally they gave her a bath. Her bedsheets were changed and the room cleaned.

This made me cry. My aunt said this is what they do week on week to keep her clean. She said “Imagine doing this drill every day, she smells because some days during the night she wets herself in the room and does not change her clothes after that. We have to keep forcing her.”

 

Chapter 12

Age 17-20

Going to college was the best thing that happened to me. I was really happy and excited. Just before college my Dad went with me to the shops to buy me 2 sets of new clothes to wear to my college. Until now I had a worn uniform to school and higher secondary. My mother took a few of her old sarees that she had not used for some time and stitched them into long skirts for me.

My cousins likewise started college. They were in various hostels in nearby towns.

Our Vacations coincided rarely. Even if they did it was for very short duration. It was fun during this time as we all had so much to talk about. Each of my cousins had a funny incident to relate, and we laughed to no end. Sometimes we discussed the syllabus, but who bothered about books when we were having such a good time.

During these stays, I stopped noticing much of Gowri Amma. The short time was just enough to go around the village and talk to my cousins. Eat all the delicious food that my mom never made. There were pots of homemade pickles of different varieties and fries which I loved.

Then one day as I was passing the room at the back, I saw Gowri Amma. She was completely bald. She was totally withdrawn and sat in the corner with her sloka book and the rope in her hand. When I went and called her, she never seemed to recognize or respond to me.

I called out to my aunt and asked “Mami why is Gowri Amma like that. What happened to her hair?”

My Aunt said “She does not bathe. We force her to every week. She never leaves her room these days. But I really don’t know how, she got lice. We tried to comb and take it out whenever possible, but it was too much. So we shaved her head. Now it is better than before. Every time her hair grows we call the barber and have it done”

I felt really sad to see her like this. I remember how long her hair was some years ago. I wondered what had happened to her. But no one was willing to discuss her madness.



Chapter 13

Age 21.

It was the month of March. My exams were due in 2 months and after that I would be a graduate. I was mentally thinking how I could convince my parents to allow me to study further.

My parents and everyone in the family were now looking for a suitable match for me. My mother was spreading word to all our friends about me.

They were getting horoscopes and my Dad was visiting astrologers every weekend to match them with mine. It made me scowl every time they spoke of my wedding. They would discuss it endlessly.

One Sunday morning, my Dad as we were having breakfast started the topic “Anita, you know that Valli aunty, she has a distant relative in Chennai. They have a son. She has asked me to meet them.”

Me: “Appa don’t talk about this. What is the hurry? I want to do my post graduation”

My Mom “how long do you want Appa to have this responsibility. He is getting old. We need to settle you, only after that can we think of Aravind’s wedding”

My Dad “Anita, anyway let me tell you, I went and met this family last week. The boy is good and he is a psychiatrist. He runs his own clinic. They are very eager to see you”

Me: “Appa not again”

My Mom: “Just listen to what we have to say. After so many matches, this horoscope has finally matched. We are not asking you to get married. But just see this guy. He must first like you and we must also like him. There are so many other things we have to talk about.”

My dad in a very convincing voice “Anita remember we are doing this for your well being. If he allows you, you can study further. I know he is older by 10 years. We will not push you into a well, cheer up and agree”

It was decided that they would take me to the temple to see this guy.

I dressed in a simple half saree and wore minimal jewelry. I was not prepared to get married, let alone see someone. I kept saying to myself “this guy should look like a pig, like a pig, like a pig,”

We entered the temple and stood in the crowd with the offering. I was scanning the crowd to see, which joker is going to see me.

Then there was a flutter of activity. My Dad went and shook hands with someone. They came and stood opposite us. They too had an offering plate. Through the crowd I could see a girl about my age and an old couple who were my parents’ age and no one else. I kept scanning the crowd. A little later I saw a face. I still remember he was wearing a light cream shirt. I thought he was someone in the crowd. But he came forward and his mother whispered something in his ears. He looked at me directly. I was caught unaware. He gave a smile and I quickly looked down.

I was blushing and could feel my cheeks burning. Was this love at first sight? I dared not look up again. I closed my eyes like I was praying in earnest and slowly opened my eyes a little bit to see him again. His looks were bold and he kept looking at me.

As abruptly as it had started, it was over and we headed home. My Mom and Dad never spoke about this again. I was expecting them to ask me what I felt, but they never did.

I understood that they were waiting for the guys side to call us and tell us if we were to proceed further. I went back to revising for my exams. I was hoping none of my friends had heard about this as they would tease me to no end.

After a week of waiting, this guys father dropped in unexpectedly one Sunday morning. I was still in my night clothes and my Mom rushed me inside to dress me into something decent.

My dad was already talking to him when I came out.

I asked him “uncle can I make some coffee for you”

My dad “ Anita do you have to ask, go make a cup for us, we will have”

My mother “serve some water first, these days children have to be taught everything” and looking at that uncle “tiffin is also ready, will you eat something”

Uncle “ No I already had tiffin before coming, I will just have coffee”

I heaved a sigh of relief as the tiffin that morning was upma.

I made the coffee and poured it into glasses and served it to uncle and my Dad.

Just as I did so uncle said

Uncle “Anita, my Son liked you very much, he has said yes. He had gone for a conference and we could not ask him anything. He came back just yesterday and he said he likes you”

I started to blush and did not know what to say.

My Mom, “Oh that is indeed good news, we are all so happy”

I could sense my parents beaming with joy.

My Dad, “Now a days girls also have an opinion. My daughter is educated and her exams are in 2 months. After studying so hard, I want her to complete her graduation. This is not the right time to be discussing the wedding. I am very happy your Son likes her, we also liked him a lot, let us fix a good time and my wife and me will come over to discuss the rest of the formalities, we don’t want to disturb Anita with all this talking”

Uncle “I totally agree with you, we are all from educated families. Let Anita finish her exams. You can fix a good date and come to our house. We will talk everything else at that time”

Then various other affairs were discussed. Talk about various members of each ones family and the like. After almost one and a half hours, it was time for uncle to leave.

Before leaving uncle called “Anita, I am taking leave now, hope to see you in my house soon. All the best for your exams. Do you have any message for Balan, I will gladly convey it to him”

I started blushing much to the amusement of my parents. My Mom said “fall on his feet and get blessed”


TO BE CONTINUED..............

 

Dear Sir,

Thank you so much for your comments.

I am so happy to get your feedback. I get confidence to post my stories only because of the comments i get from people like you and others here.

The parts of the olden days and how children were, are all taken from various narrations from my friends and mostly by my father and mother about their childhood days.

Thank you once again.

Regards
Uma

 

Chapter 14.

Once that man had left my mom was dancing with Joy. She came running and kissed me. She said I was lucky. My dad followed her and said “Anita now we have to reply, what do you say, did you see the guy properly, do you like him”

I did not have to reply as my blushing said it all.

The first call they made was to Aravind my brother. He was excited and congratulated me. He was now working and said he would apply for leave well ahead.

Then my Mom and Dad took out a note book to list out all the assets they would be giving me as part of my trousseau, How much they could budget for the wedding, How much gold and how much silver. Most important of all they were wondering how much dowry Balan’s people would demand,

Then they called my uncles in the village and my elder uncle said he would meet the priest and get a good date and he and his wife would come down to meet the boy and his family.

The date was fixed and my uncles and aunts from the village landed there. They were very happy that I was to get married.

They went to Balan’s house and came back and were happy. My uncle and aunt left the same day.

My parents did not talk about the discussion they had. They did not want to disturb me. Though I was very eager to hear everything.



Chapter 15

On the last day of the exams, my friends gathered together and we went for a movie. This was probably the last day of college and we did not know when we would meet again. Though we could write letters and call one another. It was here that I told my friends about Balan and my soon to happen wedding. My friends had innumerable questions about him. But I did not have answers as I had seen him for about 5 minutes in the temple. I said I would invite everyone for the wedding, and be there for all the ceremonies.

It was sad parting with them, but that is a way of life. I returned home feeling sad and we all had cried our hearts out.

On returning home, my mom cheered me up. Then she started talking about the wedding plans. Balan’s family did not want the wedding in our village. Their friends and relatives were all in Chennai and they wanted the wedding here. I was sad as all my cousins could not come. Some of them were married and had kids. The one cousin who was very dear to me was getting married too. Her wedding was a month before mine and she was going to Singapore immediately. I was sad thinking of this. This would be the last wedding function I would attend as a spinster. My cousins said we would have a blast.

Coming to my wedding, Balan’s parents did not want any dowry. They did not demand any gold or silver. They said what ever was given was for their daughter. They also did not demand a car or a bike for Balan. This was very rare during this time. They wanted the wedding in Chennai and my dad was busy looking for a wedding hall.

The wedding invitation was drafted out and printed and we went to our village to first pray to our goddess and start distributing the cards.

This also coincided with my cousin’s wedding and I had a really good time. She was getting married to a guy who was working in Singapore. She was the first in the family to go abroad. I was very happy for her. So many questions about Balan was asked and I had I knew nothing of him to reply.

Once we were back, the purchases for my wedding began. My mom made a checklist and bought sarees accordingly. She bought so many sarees for me.

The wedding hall and all the other arrangements were taken care of my dad and my uncle who came down 2 weeks before.

My mom and me started spring cleaning the house. The painters were to come the following weekend. As I was standing on the stool and picking up stuff from the loft there was a knock. My Mom went and opened the door and in a loud voice said “ come son, come, sit down, I will ask Anita to come”

She quickly came and asked me to step down and wash my face. She said “Balan has come to see you”

I did not know what to say. What would I talk to him, why was he here? This was not common. We were suppose to meet only on the wedding day. With all these doubts I went with my head down.

Balan “ Hi, are you surprised to see me”

I just nodded. He said “You know I hardly spoke to you the other day, and I was longing to see you and talk to you, that is why I have come”

My mom brought the coffee and some marie biscuits and placed it before him. He told me “Anita please sit down”

My Mother “Sit down and talk to him, I will just go to the nearby shop and come back”

I sat down and Balan said, “please don’t feel shy or embarrassed by my presence. I wanted to see you and I came. Tomorrow we are going to buy the wedding saree and some jewels for you. I thought it would be good if you can come with us and pick what you like”

I said “Yes I can come, but you need to ask my parents first”

My parents had no objection and Balans family picked me up in the morning and we shopped till we were so tired. I got to know the family a little. I also noticed Balan was so soft spoken and very well mannered. Every time he spoke to me all I could do was blush.


TO BE CONTINUED......

 

Chapter 16.

My home was filled with people from the village. My grandparents could not make it, but sent their blessings. My uncles and aunts arrived 2 weeks before the wedding and the house was filled with joy and happiness

The wedding was a grand affair. I met so many people that I did not know. I was very sad to be leaving my home. I was a little scared what lay ahead of me. I wept for a long time. My parents consoled me saying, “Be glad you are going to be in the same city, we will meet frequently”

All my uncles and aunts told us to visit the village after things settled down. They said it is a must that my grandparents must meet Balan and they were very eager. After assuring them, I left to my marital home.

Balan took me to Kulu Manali for our honeymoon. I was probably the first in the family to travel to North of India and for a honeymoon.

I got to know Balan better and he was the most understanding person I could have imagined. He never forced me for anything and even intimacy was not his priority. He wanted me to be comfortable with him first and I was very happy to get such a considerate person as a husband

He had an apartment in Chennai close to his parents house and the clinic and it was here that we settled.

I had the full consent of Balan to pursue my Masters and I was very happy.

Thus began my married life.



Capter 17


Ages 22-24.

Married life was really good. Balan was a wonderful person. He was busy with his hospital work. In spite of his busy schedule he made time for me. This was such a surprise for me as my Dad never made any time for my Mom. My Dad was the bread winner and my Mom the home maker. Sometimes when my Mom was sick, she would never tell him about it as it would upset his schedule and he could not take leave.

The advantage of Balan’s work was that he had no emergencies. Sundays were for going out and meeting friends. I made a lot of friends.

My cousins were all having babies, but I was not.

This was a great concern for everyone. Sometimes people were so crude that I would cry. Balan was very understanding and said not to worry. It will happen when it has to. I had truly understanding in-laws.

When my mother visited me or we went there, she would call me aside and ask “is everything alright, why no good news yet”

Me “Amma what is the hurry, there is nothing wrong. When it happens it happens.

TO BE CONTINUED....

 

Chapter 18

Age 25.

I was still the same. No news of pregnancy. Everyone was worried that there was something wrong. Balan and I were not concerned. Balan being the psychiatrist had counseled me to not get dejected and depressed.

I had completed my Masters and did not know what to do after that. I wanted to do my Phd and was looking at various options. In the meantime, I was tutoring at home and taught in a school for half a day. This kept me really busy and Balan encouraged me to work.

It was at this time that I got a call from my Mom, she said “ Anitha there is an annual festival at the village, I think you should come with your husband”

Me, “Amma I have to ask him. If he agrees we will definitely come”

My mother “you are married for 4 years now. I am waiting for a grandchild. I don’t know what to say when people ask me. If we go and pray to our Godess I am sure she will bless us. So convince Balan to come. Let me know then appa will book our tickets.

That evening when Balan came home we discussed this and he agreed. Tickets were booked and off we went to our village. I was visiting almost after 4 long years, the first time as a married woman.

I was very excited. I was eager to show Balan all our favorite places and tell him about all the pranks we did as children.

We reached there early morning. My uncle had brought a Nadaswaram band to welcome Balan. Much to his embarrassment they garlanded him at the station and welcomed him. At home the aarti was taken and all the women rolled their tongue and ululated in celebration of our arrival as we entered.

We reached home and the rest of the morning went in introductions. Since it was a temple festival, most of my cousins were there. I got to see their kids for the first time. Some of them were full of wonder that I did not have any. They asked me in secret “are you both having normal sex, how come no baby” Another one asked “probably you are having some medicine to stop pregnancy” My Ayah blatantly outright asked Balan “yeh Thambi all is fine with you? why is Anita not getting pregnant. If this had happened in our place, we would sent the girl back home and got you married to someone else” Balan did not know what to say.

After all this I told Balan “there is one more person you need to meet” Balan looked perplexed. I led him to the back room where Gowri Amma was. I called her “Gowri Amma, how are you” She was sitting in a chair holding to her rope. I was shocked that so much transformation had taken place in the few years. She was like a skeleton. Her eyes were sunk. My eyes welled up and I quickly called my aunt and asked “why has Gowri Amma become like this”

My aunt quickly came and said “Oh no I have forgotten to give her food yesterday” then she brought out a plate of rice and Gowri Amma ate it like she was starving.

It was then that hell broke loose. Balan was shocked. He said this is no way to treat a person. He asked my aunt who was nearby what had happened to her. My aunt said “thambi, don’t bother, it is nothing. She is mad that is all, Come and have your breakfast”. Addressing me she said “hey Anita you have no sense or what, what is the need to show your husband to Gowri, you found no one else. Come and move out of the room, leave that mad woman alone”

My husband would not let go. He asked “have you ever gone to a doctor” my uncle came from behind and said “Thambi we have done everything we can to cure her. But nothing worked, so don’t bother come and eat and let us go to the temple”

Balan said “I am not leaving her like this. Why is she so weak and she looks like you have not been feeding her”

But everyone kept mum.

I could see Balan was very angry and he was fuming. He said he will not leave this place until the truth of her illness is out.

I consoled him and we went to the temple. When I caught a few minutes with him alone, I noticed he was distressed.

He said “At no cost am I going to leave Gowri Amma in this condition. I will take her away to Chennai and treat her”

I said “Gowri amma has been like this from when I was a small girl. How can a mad person be treated after so many years”

Balan “was she born mad”

I said “No, her mother told me she was a normal girl until she got married”

Balan “see the madness happened later and none of your family bothered to find out what was wrong, are you not ashamed that you have treated a person worse than an animal. She has not been fed in days, did you see the way she ate, I cannot leave her here even for a minute, I am taking her with us”



Chapter 19

Before I could even ask anyone Balan called his hospital and said he would be late in coming back.

In the afternoon after lunch, I told Ganesan thatha “Thatha, we want to take Gowri Amma with us to Chennai”

Thatha got up and laughed and said “Hear everybody what Anitha has to say” everybody came to attention, he laughed and said “she wants to take that mad woman to Chennai”

Everybody started talking at the same time. Some of them laughed and my mother nudged me and said “what is this madness, how can we take her to Chennai, she will not come out of her room”.

After lots of arguments and noise Balan said “stop this noise, I am not asking for permission, you have treated her so badly. She does not look like she has been fed properly. The least you could have done, is feed her properly”

My aunt said “you know Thambi I have grown old. I keep forgetting. She also never asks. Everyone else is also old to take care of a mental woman”

Balan said “Is that even an excuse, if your husband was sick, would you not feed him. Why not put her in an asylum if you cannot take care of her”

Anita “Please allow my husband to treat her, he sees so many patients with good results”

Ganesan Thatha ‘Hear her supporting her husband, how many years have you seen Gowri Amma, you should explain to your hero that we have done everything we can”

Balan said ‘The decision is final; if you do not agree I will call the police and with a court order take her”

No one spoke a word, everyone were rattled. Ganesan Thatha said “OK the choice is yours, but on condition that you never bring her back”

It was final that Gowri Amma was coming with us.


TO BE CONTINUED............

 

Chapter 20

Before going to Chennai, Balan wanted to get as much information as possible from the family members. He wanted to meet her parents. So off we went to meet them

Narration by Gowri’s mother


Gowri was my middle daughter. She was a very naughty child and full of mischief. Like any other child she was very playful and we sent her to school when she was 4. She grew up to be very beautiful, and had thick long hair. She had a melodious voice and could sing very well. She was good at play acting and actively participated in the school theatre productions. She used to lead the school prayer. All her teachers loved her. She was very good at studies and was always first in class.

She attained puberty when she was 13 years old. It was considered a very early puberty as girls during that time attained puberty only at 15 or 16. Gowri was very scared and did not know what had happened to her. She thought she was very sick and it took a lot of explaining for her to understand it. There was a grand celebration for 14 days. She was made to sit in a corner and given the most horrible concoctions. Gowri cried a lot much to the amusement of all the women. They said all these were medicines meant to strengthen the uterus so that she can have healthy children.

Everyday relatives poured in with gifts for her.

On the 14th day she was dressed in a silk saree. Her waist could not hold the saree and it kept slipping. She was most uncomfortable and went through the parade. The only thing she did was cry.

Once this was done, she was not allowed to go back to school. Her teachers came and pleaded with her father, but he said no one in the family had studies beyond 5th standard and he was not sending her. Gowri cried and lamented, to no avail. She was then asked to learn domestic chores.

The following month, they started looking for a match for Gowri.

Ganesan lived a few streets away and was a distant relative. The family was wealthy and owned lands. He was 28 years old and the last son. It was decided he was a good match for Gowri.

The marriage was a grand affair.

The mother said “that is all I know. I don’t know what happened there. I sent my child to that house. The next day when I went to see her, she had a glazed look, she cried bitterly when she saw me. She pleaded to be taken home. I told her she had to stay there as it was now her home. She cried so much and clung to me till the front door and I had to forcibly push her inside and come”

After this we did not go to see her for another 10 days. Again it was the same story and Gowri cried so much. It broke my heart to see her like this. She did not have the glow of a newlywed. She was very distressed and I could not understand why. When I called her aside, she said she did not like married life. She did not like what Ganesan did to her. I told her things will get better. We left it at that. But Gowri was never happy. I visited every 10 days once. I took food that she liked, but she would never even smile. Sometimes she walked with a limp. When I asked her what happened, she would just walk away.

After 4 months came the month of Adi. She came home for a month. She was very withdrawn. At times she would be cheerful and talk chirply, but at other times she would be very silent and sit in a corner just staring at something. Every time we spoke about her husband she would never talk about him or her new home.

When it was time for her to go back, she cried and said she wanted to stay here. Ganesan came and she stood shivering when he told her it was time to go.

We never understood what the problem was.

Month on month we waited to hear she was pregnant, but nothing.



Chapter 21


The eldest aunts narration.

We were very happy that Gowri was coming into our house. She was a little girl, just attained puberty and was ideal match for our Ganesan. I have seen her many times while she used to go to school and seen her in the many dramas she participated. You see she was Premas age and in the same class. Prema was very happy Gowri was coming to our house.

She looked really pretty in her wedding attire and a lot of gold was given to her and lands too. The dowry we demanded was also met.

She entered our house like an angel. Then it was time for her first night. We all gathered and told her to let Ganesan do what he wants. She walked into the room and after sometime came out screaming. Her dress was in disarray. We told her this is what happens after marriage and she would not go back into the room. She fought so much that we had to literally carry her inside and told Ganesan to grab her.

The next day morning, she came out with a scared look had a bath as instructed and did not speak a word. When we made fun of her running out, she just cried. Ganesan came for breakfast and when we told her to sit next to him, she did not. We forced her and she sat feet away and did not eat anything. We thought she was shy and embarrassed.

Ganesan Narration:


Till that day, I have seen Gowri running around as a child. I truly fell in love with Gowri the minute I saw her as my wife.

I was all elated as she walked into the room. I caught hold of her and tried to kiss her and she was totally upset and ran away. I chased her and embraced her again and playfully nibbled her ears. She cried loudly and ran away. She opened the room and went out crying. My aunts caught her and carried her inside and told me to grab her. I did what I was meant to. I consummated the marriage, she was now my wife and I her husband, I had every right to her. I had sex with her. But she wailed and cried and fought the entire time. I did it repeatedly. When I let her go, she ran to the corner, quickly covered herself with the saree and sat in a corner, weeping uncontrollably. When I got up in the morning, she had left the room. I thought this was normal for the first time.

When she was asked to sit next to me, she refused and sat far away. Everyone were making fun saying she was shy. I took it as normal and left it at that.

Then that night she came in and sat in the corner and refused to come to bed. Every time I asked she cried. She never stopped crying all night. Even my softest voice, startled her. Then I was tired and went to sleep. In the morning when I got up she was not there.

I was there when her mother came and she cried hopelessly. But what was I to do.

I thought she would come around after a few days. But she continued to sit in the corner and never came to bed. On a few days I pleaded with her and when she was adamant, I have kicked her on her thighs. The poor woman only cried silently. Those were the days she would limp and though I felt sorry, what was I to do. I needed her as a wife.

I never tried again. When it was night she would come and sit in the corner. Never slept. Some times she would doze, but even a small sound like the lizard cry would startle her.

At times when I was really frustrated I would kick her for not being my wife, but after the first few times, I stopped. I decided it was fate.



TO BE CONTINUED....