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Gowri

Discussion in 'Stories (Fiction)' started by umaakumar, Apr 11, 2023.

  1. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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    IN today’s world as we are watching Television or reading the newspaper, or even a magazine for that matter, we come across advertisements about treating depression. If any suicide is reported, below it we can see the wordings which say you can contact suicide help lines and their number is given. We hear of psychiatrist counselors at workplaces. We have counselors at schools. We get invitations to motivational speakers and have a lot of vlogs on them. We hear stories from rape survivors and how they came out of their trauma. Today when we feel down, the first thing that comes to our mind, is “should I see a shrink?”


    Every day we come across someone or the other having to deal with depression. In the recent past, I come across someone who had such a traumatic life. Her father was abusive and her husband was abusive. She saw her mother commit suicide; she too slipped into depression and today she has been institutionalized. No one understood that woman or were willing to hear her out.


    In another case, from what we perceive as a very happy family. Children well settled. No financial problem. But this man committed suicide. No one knows why.


    Although we have seen many big changes in the mental health sector, over the years, there is still a long way to go. The little things that can go a long way is how much help the family can give. Even just by listening to what the person has to say. Never condemn a child. Listen patiently. If you pick up on signs of distress, talk them through it and give them the courage to face it, rather than discourage them and never eversay it was all their fault

    .

    We feel sad when we read articles in papers. Some about acid attacks on some girl who resisted rape, some mentally deranged person tied up in a room, old parents kept locked, honor killing, child abuse etc etc


    This small fictional story is about one such child who lived most of her life in depression, just because people around her including her own mother could not understand her mental state and help her out.


    Many a times this is what happens to them. They die, neglected by society and family members.

    ----------------------------------------
    CHAPTER 1

    Family is an integral part of society and pillar for our growth. We all, in our own way, cherish our family. Though we get married settle down in different places, we still fondly remember our family and love to talk about them. We talk to all our relatives and friends frequently and like to visit them and partake on their well being, whether physically or virtually.

    My name is Anita. I have very fond memories of my childhood and my ancestral home, my grandparents and my many aunts and uncles who have molded me into what I am today.

    My Mom and Dad are from the same place from the hinterlands of Tamil Nadu

    My paternal grandmother (Ayah) is from this village. She is the fifth and last child to her parents. She lived in a joint family and was brought up amongst the many aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. There were at least 30 people in the house at any given point of time.

    All the men in the family were agriculturists. They were people of the land. The entire household revolved around the lands they had. They had cows which the women took care of. They had oxen, hens, goats and ponds full of catfish. Some of the households had ducks too.

    As in every small village,everybody knew everybody.

    My Mother is Parvathi. She was the 4th daughter to my grandmother. She had 2 younger siblings, both boys. She had 2 elder sisters. She was educated till she completed her first year of graduation. Then she was married to my Dad Partha, who worked in Chennai. Partha was in a way related to my mother, but it is too complicated for me to explain how. Those were the days when marriages with close relatives were the norm, to keep the wealth in the family. Because if they married out of the family then the wealth would have to be split. However, my parents were not closely related.

    My parents had me and my brother. So as you can guess I was born in my ancestral village, but grew up entirely in Chennai and still live there.

    TO BE CONTINUED
     
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  2. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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    Chapter 2


    I have a very fond liking to my village. I am very close to all my cousins and aunts and uncles. This is because my parents believed the only place they could go during our school holidays were to our village. We spent two months every year, there. I don’t regret it, because this was why I bonded so well with my cousins and have a trove of good memories with them. I still talk to them on the phone and we gossip and talk like long lost friends. I will tell you about my yearly visits to my village


    Age 0-3


    Like anyone else, I don’t remember my early days of being a baby. I was born in a hospital in this village. My brother is 4 years older than me. My Ayah often told me I never slept in the night and cried a lot. She said I looked very cute and people cast evil eyes on me and everyday she would remove this in various ways.


    She told me my mother was in a hurry to go back to Chennai (called Madras in those days) after my delivery because my brother’s education will get disturbed. “He is after all in nursery, why make so much fuss” she would say to my mom.


    So after 6 months of a maternity visit, my mother left for Chennai with me and my brother.


    My brother was sent to school and I started growing.


    In the holidays when we visited our village I remember how we were pampered by the entire household.


    It is here that when I was 2 years old I pushed a groundnut into my nose and also it is here that I stuffed a small piece of paper into my ears. To get the paper out, my grandfather had to be called from the fields and they took me to the hospital where the doctor held my earlobes so tight to remove it, that I squealed in pain.


    I would like to say, journeys are always very exciting.

    Chapter 3

    Ages 3 - 6

    Now I was much older and when we went to our village, our Dad would accompany us and stay a couple of days before returning to work in Chennai. He could not get too many days off from work.

    The day of travel would be busy packing and cleaning up of the kitchen. My mom would pack dinner and carry it in a wire basket. She would carry a flask with hot water and Horlicks in case we got hungry in the night. The hold-all will have our bedding.

    My dad would carry me to the front of the train to show me the engine. I was fascinated by the huge machine which was going to pull the train to our village.

    When the train left the station, we would all eat. My Dad would open the hold-all and spread the bed. My brother always slept on the floor of the train in-between the two seats. This was in spite of the fact that we had proper sleeping berths in the train.

    TO BE CONTINUED
     
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  3. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Thyagarajan Sir,

    Thank you for the first like.

    Regards
    Uma
     
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  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice prologue, Uma, and a good introduction to all the characters in chapter 1. Chapters 2 and 3 have nice brief descriptions that are short but bring back so many memories for us. Looking forward to the next chapters.
     
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I too liked the intro. An epilogue seems to have taken place of the prologue! Let your followers sail with you In this seial too. I trust you would bring to readers of older generation abundant nostalgia.
    Wishing you Godspeed in your endeavour.
    Regards.
     
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  6. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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    Chapter 4

    Age 3 – 6

    At this age I could understand more. I loved wearing bangles and wearing a saree. My Mom specially designed a small saree for me and I was thrilled. I learnt some small rhymes and would sing them in my baby voice. Because I was a fussy eater, my mother would take me to the end of the road and tell me various stories to make me eat.

    When we went to the village, it would be different. I would play so much that I would get so tired and hungry and eat with all my cousins. We were all fed together. Sometimes I would still fuss a lot to eat.

    Amongst the many people in this house was Gowri. We all called her Gowri amma. She would sometimes carry me and rock me and sing to me. She did this with all the kids. Sometimes she would be very scary for us and sit in the corner of the kitchen. During these times we kids never went near her.

    Gowri amma had a habit of sitting like a statue in the kitchen, whenever I fussed to eat or threw a tantrum, my Mom would threaten me with a “if you don’t eat now, I will give you to Gowri amma. She will eat you” This was enough to make me gobble my food and go to sleep. A tactic all the small kids in the house had to endure from their mothers, should they fuss or be naughty. We were taught to be scared of Gowri amma though she was very calm and quite in those days.

    Gowri Amma would most of the times be in a room in the back of the house. Gowri Amma kept to herself. She was quiet, most of the time, by herself. She would sit there not talking to anyone. But when she saw us she would call us and sometimes tell us small stories. She would at times teach us to write using a slate. Everyone called her the mad women of the house.

    It was during one of these visits that I asked my Ayah “Ayah, tell me why is Gowri Amma like that”

    My Ayah in her sing song voice said “You know Gowri was a very small and a good girl. Just like you. She was about your age. It was during this time that she never listened to her mother. She would fuss to eat and sleep, never ever listened to anyone. She also threw a lot of tantrums, like your Sneha Akka. As she was doing this, one day the devil was passing by. He did not like what the girl was doing. So he took his devils wand and gave a knock to her head. Then Gowri became mad like that.” I was terrified by this and always listened to my mother when I was there. I did not leave my mother’s side because I was so scared.

    This was the story told to all my cousins who did not listen to their elders. We cousins often whispered what Grandma said in secret.



    Chapter 5

    Age 6-10

    As I started growing older I was very excited about the journey to the village. I eagerly waited for school to close. My Dad would come to school and collect a letter, so that we can get concessional ticket. Then he would take leave for a day and go to the railway station and stand in the queue and buy the ticket. It would take a full day to get the ticket as the station would be very crowded with everyone leaving for holidays.

    The day of travel was the greatest excitement for us. My brother and I fought over the window seat despite the fact that it was a night train. My mother, as always packed dinner, and carried boxes of savouries and sweets. My Dad hired a coolie to carry the heavy load and he would run behind him, lest they lose him. Once the coolie offloads the baggage my Dad would count all the pieces and my mother would repeat it and then they would pay for his services. After dinner, the hold-all would be opened and our bedding spread out and we will be fast asleep. We were woken up half an hour before our station arrived and find my dad already standing by the door with our entire luggage. We’d arrive to find one of my uncles at the station, waiting for us at the platform who would help us offload our luggage and take it to the car. We would reach home very excited to show off our new games to our village cousins

    Once we were all bored of the games and chatter, we would start running around and play various games. Then we would slowly head to the room at the back. This is in case we had not seen Gowri Amma anywhere outside. We’d stand outside the door and call out to her.

    "Gowri Amma, how are you?. We have come for holidays".

    Gowriamma would sit up and look at us. Sometimes her look would be blank like we never existed.

    On one of these vacations, probably when I was 6, we went and called “Gowri Amma we have come for holidays. Will you come and play with us”. There was no reply and we noticed that she had a rope with her which she held on tightly. She quickly grabbed her rope and hugged it tight and told us to go away. She just kept repeating “Go GoGo away, I will not give my rope to anyone. Go away". We were horrified at her behavior and just stood there in shock, unable to peel ourselves away from there. Then suddenly she got up menacingly and came charging. This sent us bolting from there. My cousins later said if she caught us she would beat us.

    This was a game for all the kids in the house. We would stand outside her room and keep asking her "Gowriamma, Gowriamma, give us your rope". For the first few times, she would keep looking at us holding the rope tight. Later she would scream loudly and come charging at us. We would scatter laughing. But after sometime we would repeat the game, till our elders shouted “hey kids don't go and tease the mad woman, leave her alone."

    On certain days Gowri Amma would come out of her room and walk around the house. She would even cut vegetables and help around. But she never spoke to anyone but just went about her work. If someone instructed her to do something she would do it. On certain days she would come out and keep pacing up and down with long strides like she is running. We kids at such times would walk behind her and imitate her. She will do this for hours on end, till someone told her to stop and then she would go to her room. But once the men of the house came back she would quickly run back to her room and sit there with her rope.

    TO BE CONTINUED...
     
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  7. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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  8. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I am trying to guess -- as the story goes forward will Gowri Amma be the protagonist or the narrator.

    It's April time.. making me a little homesick for childhood and vacations. Got my first box of mangoes, they are taking forever to ripen and even then will have no "mango" smell.
     
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  9. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Rihana,

    Thanks for your feedback. I am happy that my narration is taking you back in time. Especially to the mangoes.
    We never went anywhere for our holidays. I dont have any memories with my grandparents or cousins. Summer vacation was the most boring time for us. All our friends would go to their grandparents.
    The writings about the village, summer vacation and games are all what I have heard from others.

    Regards
    Uma
     
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  10. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Wonderful narration, Uma!
    We too never went out of town for summers. My family have been city people for over 150 years. Both sets of grandparents lived close by. I was always envious of the kids who would promptly decamp to their “native” the day vacations started and come back with tales of all the fun they had in the village.
     
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