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Got Divorce notice... What should I do next.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by hopefullylucky, Jul 25, 2015.

  1. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Op,
    Since he had an extra martial affair you can prove it in the court. Talk to àn lawyer and get guidance on how to proceed further. When I went through the divorce, my lawyer appealed before judge that my jewellery and certificates are yet to be returned. Judge gave them three days time to return all the items.
    This too will pass. Keep up your hopes.
     
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  2. hopefullylucky

    hopefullylucky Junior IL'ite

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    May I ask how many years did it took finally to get divorce. I read somewhere that it usually takes 4-5 yrs.
     
  3. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Moment I decided on divorce, I proceeded by mutual consent. It took 9 months in total. I lost so many lakhs that i gave him when we were together.but alI i wanted that time was to get rid of him. I know moment I ask the money back he will drag it unnecessarily.
    My friend's case is a contested case. It's dragging on for last three years mainly because of alimony.
     
  4. hopefullylucky

    hopefullylucky Junior IL'ite

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    Thanks blackbeauty, ur reply sure did helped to relax.


    Btw, congratulations on ur new life :)
     
  5. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Op,

    It is not clear to me what is really going on other than the key points that you think he is having affair, you attempted suicide, he sent you divorce notice. There are a lot of gaps and key information missing. Did your husband really go for extra marital affair or is it merely your suspicion that he is doing so? If he is the one who is having affair isnt it odd that it is he not you who has taken the initiative to file for divorce? Usually it is the wronged party who will file for divorce first for eg some of the other posters in this thread. But that is not the case here. Another point is you state that you have attempted suicide. Taken together if you were suspecting him (wrongly) of affair and then attempted suicide, it would make sense he is kind of scared of what else you will do and trying to stop this marriage by sending notice.

    Instead of relying on replies here it is better you go to a lawyer and tell them the full story without any gaps. They will give you the correct advice.
     
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  6. hopefullylucky

    hopefullylucky Junior IL'ite

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    Yes, I have to discuss this with a lawyer. As this is first divorce case our family has encountered. We do not have much knowledge about it. So, posted this thread just on the day we got to know about the notice. The replies here are actually helping me to decide on next course of action.
    Regarding the affair, I do not have proofs but yes it is there. I do not have proofs as he used to delete any contact made with d girl...chat logs, call logs etc. For last three months he has not contacted me...despite of having two occasions...our anniversary and my birthday. Not even his family contacted us. Though I wished all of them whose bdays fall in these 3 months. As my parents do not want me to get divorce and they think things will fall in place with time.
     
  7. hopefullylucky

    hopefullylucky Junior IL'ite

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    I didn't filed for divorce because I don't want it, because even if he didn't loved me...but I did. I can't even cry now, as my parents will fall weak. Every time tears come in my eyes, I have to pretend to go to another room to wipe it. I m trying as much to sit with family n avoid sitting alone to avoid the flood of tears.
     
  8. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Be emotionally strong @hopefullylucky . I feel for you, it is sad that u r going through this phase. But your tears are valuable, don't shed them for somebody who is not loyal to you and doesn't care your emotions.

    you can re build your life , invest your time and energy in you.

    be very strong , if possible spend some time away from everybody may be with a dear friend or a cousin to get some fresh air.
     
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  9. Soch

    Soch Silver IL'ite

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    I think you are confused now, you say he is having affair for sure then why do you want to live with him. For the love you have for him is it but what would get from it, he will not be affectionate to you. You will be struggling life, as you cannot force him to love you.

    See if you feel that he has affair, you can hire some detective agent and find the details. If it is true, you have proof to produce, if not what you assumed is false but you cannot go back to him as you already lost his trust. OR if he is really good person he might consider to live with you (but not sure), you will also be clear that he is good.

    Think calmly before you do anything.

    He had sent notice that cannot be changed, you have time to reply think calmly about what you want from this and then act.

    For Lawyer part, be careful go to a person whom from you side knows well as there is possibility that they can bribe you lawyer and take to their side without you knowing about it.
     
  10. hopefullylucky

    hopefullylucky Junior IL'ite

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    Thanks @kashmirflower I m trying to be
     

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