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Good habits to teach our children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by mukilganesh, Dec 4, 2008.

  1. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    Mukil

    I don't have any personal experience to draw on to contribute to this thread, but I hope you'll permit me to make one observation. Your thread is an absolute pleasure to read because of the kind, considerate, and sensitive way in which you respond to EACH of the people who post here. It must take you a lot of effort and time to be this appreciative of people and their inputs, and you so consistently display such good manners that I thought I should at least take 5 minutes to tell you that it's ILites like you that make me want to continue being a part of this community. Clearly, you practise the good habits that you are trying to pass on to your son.

    Your pal
    Ansuya
     
  2. mukilganesh

    mukilganesh Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Ansuya

    Thank you for your lovely comments which made me feel on top of the world ! I am very touched by your words, (as always), but I feel that it is a basic courtesy to acknowledge others.

    And if I may draw a point from your comments, it is indeed an art to be able to appreciate others. From the beginning, I have always applauded and appreciated my son for every good deed he has done, that he is the same with others! I always get tickled pink when he appreciates me for something I have done !

     
  3. suzanna

    suzanna Senior IL'ite

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    hi
    i think you all make great moms.:thumbsup
    thanks for sharing your way of parenting.
    wanted to know.
    which is better.
    just giving pocket money or paying for chores?
    should you pay for chores?or maybe just for some unpleasant work?
    i give my kids,3 of them,certain chores to do daily.my eldest going to be 11 protests a lot.
    and most of the time i find i have to keep after them to make sure they complete their chores which is just 1 or 2.
    but rewardin for keeping a clean room sounds interesting,
    now maybe they will do it without prompting.
    :)
     
  4. mukilganesh

    mukilganesh Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Suzanna

    Hats off to you for being a super Mom! It must be a challenging task and rewarding as well to mother 3 children.

    To answer your question, making children understand the value of money is tricky. Apart from teaching them to save, getting them to not spend their money as soon as their little money box fills up is difficult!

    I think that children should be made to understand what is expected of them in terms of doing things as a family. And it is nice to help someone because you like them, and not for remuneration. For example, helping me set the table is something he should do voluntarily without expecting anything in return as it is a nice quality to help his Mom. So should doing up the bed actually, but after telling him numerous times to do it, it finally worked when I offered a small compensation. This has now become a habit and he does it automatically in the morning and has even forgotten that he gets paid for it as he never asks me for the money.

    I think children should be made to understand the difference between things they have to do to help out in the family for which they shouldn't expect to be paid and the 'extra' help like washing the car or helping in the garden which can be rewarded. It is also teaching them about responsibility for things that they should learn to do when living together.

    Once they get into the habit they won't think of it as a chore anymore, just one of the things they do in their everyday life like brushing their teeth !
     
  5. suzanna

    suzanna Senior IL'ite

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    hi mukilganesh.
    you are so right.
    all these years i wanted my eldest to help around the house because he is part of the family.
    but in the mornings we,ie my son and daughter would end up grumpy as i had to rush them through the getting ready for school process.
    but since i implemented the small reward for doing extra work like tidying up the room,and getting up in the morning,i have seen a difference.
    its early days yet but there is less yelling in the mornings.:thumbsup
    though my daughter has got a long way to go.
    thanks for the encouragement and for letting me see it's is ok to not be so worried that money should be used as a reward
     
  6. mukilganesh

    mukilganesh Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Suzanna

    I think any 'little help' in the schoolday mornings will greatly reduce stress! I have been through it and perfectly understand.

    Here is another little tip which has helped a great deal because I instilled it in my son when he was around 5 years of age. Showing him the importance of time by making him aware of the clock! It has become a habit for him now that he does everything like clockwork. He looks at the time for everything that needs to be done and rushes me, sometimes! Of course, in the beginning it did take a chunk of my patience, as I would have to constantly remind him, but it has been worth it.

    Also, if I may add, make sure that you delegate chores appropriately to all 3 children, otherwise, they might think that you are not being fair and equal with them.
     
  7. veen

    veen Senior IL'ite

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    Hi

    Thanks for sharing good points. I am working on some. We r progressing together. I don't believe in giving money to kids for chores.

    take care

    veen
     
  8. mukilganesh

    mukilganesh Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Veen

    Thanks for your input.

    I see your point and I didn't believe in giving money either. I decided to do it because I felt that it was a practical way of teaching my son that money doesn't grow on trees and that it has to be earned with hard work. I may be wrong here but I feel that it has helped in making him understand the value of money.
     

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