Gone with the wind

sln · Jun 23, 2012

We are eleven senior citizens living in an apartment complex in Chennai.The minimum age in the group is 65 and the maximum 81.There are four of us born in 1937 and we have the distinction of sharing the year of birth with Saddam Hussain.Being the second senior most I enjoy certain privileges including a friend born two months later prostrating before me and taking my blessings in a function.Nonplussed my grand daughter [5] asks me “why is one thatha doing God to another thatha”I proudly tell her that I was born two months earlier than the other thatha.Eight of us were meeting for 2 hours regularly every. evening but the duration got reduced to one hour thanks to some interesting tamil serials throwing the spanner in the works.
What is it that makes it interesting to meet day after day?We discuss about our respective and respected wives ,the eroding moral values and permissiveness of the present generation,their ostentatious life style,undue indulgence to their children,political gossip and some juicy news of self styled Godmen seeking solace in female company as mere meditation and yoga are not enough to liberate their souls.
The conversation begins.Mr.Murthy [68],a recognized connoisseur of food starts”I had a maha problem with my wife today.Every one in the group,without knowing what the problem is makes appropriate noise in sympathy.He continues”My classmate came home home for lunch today.I casually mentioned that no one can make garlic rasam as my mother made..After my friend left, my wife using choice epithets told me that while I praised my mother for the rasam mde eighteen years ago,there was no word about her for the fine spread she has been placing before me for the last forty years”..Immediately every one in the group recalls and extols the culinary delights his mother made.The conclusion is that preparation of food has become mechanical these days as there is no craftmanship or commitment displayed in yester years.
Mr.Raman [81] starts “Please join us for my grandson’s birthday.My son is spending over a lakh of Rupees for this..In our days, on their birth days we took our children to temples and also take the blessings of elders.The only indulgence was in the form of Payasam and Vada.”When I tell my son that I cycled twenty kms every day for my work and never indulged him.He replies”Appa-let us not dwell on Indian history.You had five children and you could not afford where as I have only two” “.I feel guilty that I did not practise greater restraint in my marital life”.Every one in the group understands and the consensus is that overindulgent parents these days make children greedy and impatient.The group is also concerned with the unhindered access of children to internet with graphic portrayal of the human anatomy and explicit display of physical intimacy.The group is stunned when told that grand daughter of a gentleman asked her grandpa about sperm donation..[perhaps a recent Hindi picture had something to do with this.]
Reddy[70] a member of our group retired as General Manager of a PSU,led a frugal life and gave good education to his children.His son on the other hand is a Director in a multinational and his wife Vice president in the same organization.Reddy says”Last Friday I called my son who was at home to join me for dinner..He had the guts to say”Daddy-carry on.I am having my weekend drink with Madhavi[his wife].I will have my dinner later”All respond saying that this is not the done thing.Put your foot down Reddy-the group thunders in unison.The present generation does not respect elders any more and moral values have gone with the wind.Krishnan [65]is the only dissenter.He says”what is wrong?Children are transparent these days and don’t believe in Dr.Jekyll and Hyde personality.

It is now time to leave when Sarangan[70]brings up the hottest topic of the day-the physical exploits of a well known self styled godman.Immediately members of the group about to leave, sit down and discuss the issue with gleam in their eyes.Mr.Raman-II[81]who is reputed for being a champion listener enlightens us with all the juicy details with references and cross references, qualifying for a well researched Ph.D thesis.All listen in rapt attention and are not willing to leave ,without any thought of the TV serial.The oldmen for sure, have not lost the zest for life.
We look forward to meeting everyday and get ready by 4.30 pm.Many of them apply talcum powder to their face for fragrance and to look fairer.Women in the complex comment that the oldmen are behaving like teenagers and indulge in gossip.We don’t bother-because lonliness is the biggest bane of senior citizens and we beat it with companionship and comraderie we enjoy in these meetings.We also comment freely on any subject which we dare not do at home.In addition we realize that either we have become part of Indian History or the values we cherished like simplicity,self denial to provide for the children ,respect for seniors etc have gone with the win and become irrelevant..You be the judge.

satchitananda · Jun 23, 2012

Dear Laxminarayan Mama,

This is the third time I am typing out my FB. For some reason unknown to me, my laptop is playing truant with me.

Anyway, it was really heartwarming to read your account of your evening rendez-vous with other senior citizens of your apartments. It brought out the camaraderie, warmth and sense of co-conspiracy when discussing wives, children and grand children. :-D It is really nice to see the zest for life that our seniors still nurture and the interest they show in all that is going on around them.

Growing older always brings with it a sense of nostalgia for times gone by and a sense of despair at the changes taking place. One looks on with disapproval and sadness on the eroding value systems (which is of course a relative matter). But it also brings a sense of satisfaction when one sees ones children well settled, successful and bringing up another generation.

Thanks Mama for the wonderful snippet. It was a real treat to read. :-D

Kamalji · Jun 23, 2012

Dear Laxmiji,

it has been more than 3 years since i met u and mithila, and i know how it must feel now that she is no more. And it is good u are meeting yr friends. i was so engrossed in ur talks, i think i must now come and buy an apartment in yr complex and be the 12th fellow eh ! HAHA.

Same likemy mother, she and a dozen ladies meet in the building down, and for two hours discuss wha tthe dauther in laws do, who ran away with whom etc.HAHA

And yes , like my mother i too love gossip and the doings of the godmen.HAHA

And pls keep writing, u keep us so engrossed.And we will miss mithila always, what a writer, a wife and a great host she was.

Regards

kamal

Viswamitra · Jun 23, 2012

Dear Lakshmi Sir,

I truly enjoyed reading your post and to know how seniors are interacting with each other to promote friendship among them. A friend of mine told me that the best way to keep peace at home is not to talk about the family members at home. That leaves only others to be discussed. Funny expression but he practices for real. He believes that is the best way to :hide: from the real problems.

I heard about the senior citizens meeting that is conducted in our city. I was told it was very good as well as it helps them to understand the family members i.e. their own children, their spouses and grandchildren better especially in a foreign setting. The senior citizens are trained to look at life from the eyes of their children and grandchildren. I believe that would make them feel happy as there will be better understanding.

I am a big believer that the best way to resolve a problem is to confront it. If the problems are hidden under the carpet, it becomes accumulated creating breathing problems later.

Viswa

Arunarc · Jun 23, 2012

Dear LN Sir
It is nice to see you again after a long time. The way you are enjoying your time with your aged people around and those interesting stories or say happenings in your friends life.
I cherished your age becoz during your time you had quality as well as quantity time in your hand to spend with your kids. But today's parents are having a rat race, who have all the money in hand to spend for the family but are involved in they work so much that they just cannot spend much time with they kids.
Enjoyed reading your snippet......

Kamla · Jun 23, 2012

Dear LN sir,

We just had lunch and my daughter, son-in-law and hubby are waiting for me downstairs giving me time to get ready before we can all go out. As is habit, I glanced at the snippets and couldn't believe when I noted your name and post! So, I had to quickly log in and read. My family simply must wait!

My eyes went moist. It was almost like reading my friend Mithila's post! How she cheered us up with her narrations, there was always something to smile, something to learn and and a feeling of warmth in her posts! Shows how well you both have grown together for today, I got the same feeling reading this post.

I am so glad that you are having such a rocking time with the so called senior-citizen-group. Going by your energies and enthusiasm, looks like you guys are not older than any group of college students who get together in the evenings at the street corners to wind off!

Well, there is nothing like sharing a good tete a tete with like minded people, give or take a few years of age difference. You 'boys' rock!:thumbsup

L, Kamla

shyamala1234 · Jun 24, 2012

It is a good idea to meet daily similar age group, somewhat similar views to meet daily and chat for a while. It makes a person lively and happy. Children are busy with their stressful jobs, their family responsibility. Time is at a premium for them. My father and his friends used to meet in a nearby park daily and chat. Some used to come by themselves, some their grand kid or somebody used to drop and pick up. They used to exchange snippets, talk about good olden days, discuss politics etc. Keep it up and enjoy your evening chats.

Syamala

Mindian · Jun 24, 2012

dear LN Sir,

Good to see you with a lovely post that had me smiling throughout.
Your society sounds like a lovely place for the elderly. that's the way to be after a certain age ..with like minded people . Hope you are keeping good health.

sln · Jun 25, 2012

Dear Satchithananda,
Thanks for your FB.I agree with one valid point you have made ie that the present generation is doing much better and there is no need for self denial.However what worries me is on the ostentatious life style,issues on the health front etc.Very rarely senior citizens come across topics of mutual interest for discussion to keep us engaged.Caring chidren however make all out efforts to keep the seniors engaged.In most cases seniors are themselves to blame for not adapting themselves to change.
Regards
lakshiminarayanan

sln · Jun 25, 2012

Dear Kamalji,
This is my second attempt to reply to your FB.The inspiration for the snippet is that Mithlas birth day is on 26th june.I recall the animated discussion we had on this occasion mostly on the budget and how the three ladies used to gang up against a common adversary.However last year she refused to accept 5000 RS saying that time was running out and she had no way of spending the money.Finally she relented and merrily distributed the money among the small children who visited us.I thought that the best way to kindle her memory is to establish contact with her friends in IL by posting a snippet[she was possessive about them].
I cannot wecome you to our group as I no longer live in Chennai and shuttle between Bombay and Bangalore.Right now I live in Bangalore[09341755114]
Please congratulate your mother for keeping their group alive.I have seen many such attempts by ladies out of jealousy failing.Perhaps strong minded DILS must be the common denominator for keeping this group alive.
Thanks and regards
LAKSHIMINARAYANAN